I spent three glorious days in San Diego recapturing the romance with my significant other avoiding the news and time restrictions, but bliss can't last forever. Re-entry into reality is always harsh, particularly on the Thursday night after my return from the quaint, costal city. I flipped on the news and in the same five minute block managed to see two people that I particularly loathed; Karl Rove and Britney Spears.
Karl Rove is the King of the World these days beating the rap after ratting out a CIA agent. From time to time, I have wondered what it would be like to be untouchable, to be able to do anything like kill and get away with it or ruin the lives of others and have no repercussions whatsoever. How much of your soul do you have to sacrifice to be a god on Earth? I guess Karl could tell you first hand, since he is one of the new American aristocracy. Can you see me spitting venom yet?
This bastard is single-handedly responsible for most of the bad shit that has taken place in this country these past six years, yet for what basically amounts to treason, he gets off slicker than shit. He gave up Valerie Plame-Wilson, because her husband wouldn't go along with his WMDs in Iraq lie, and what happens to Karl...NOTHING!
At the very least, this is a matter of national security. I wonder how many people have died already, because of Karl's grade school revenge tactic. How many missions were compromised? How many people will have to walk around for the rest of their lives wondering if a bullet from out of nowhere is going to end it all? The worst part is that Karl was and is able to do anything he wants, and nobody is going after him.
Valerie, if you happen to read this, please consider filing the mother of all civil lawsuits against this guy. The only thing Karl and the other members of the American aristocracy could hate more than not having complete power is poverty, or having to live on an average American income. Go for it, Val! Sue the fuck out of him, then go for another big suit against Cheney.
On the other end of the spectrum is the Queen of Despair, Britney Spears. Everyone seems to be going after her, as she told Matt Lauer during the tear-filled interview. Not to be a complete asshole, Ms. Britney did have some legitimate complaints like the stalker photographers trying to pounce on her while she's holding her kid, and everyone calling into question her mothering skills like none of us have ever had an oops while holding baby. However, the one glaring thing that has always pissed me off about Spears is that she continues to play this "I'm such an innocent, sweet, country girl" shtick.
First off, Tootsie, do you really want the photographers to go away? You pretty much hit your expiration date around the time that shit movie of yours came out. When bubblegum pop tarts make movies, that's like pulling the trigger on a loaded gun to the head, lest we forget Vanilla Ice's big screen debut. When Matt asked Ms. Britney about what kind of music she was going to do now, she said she didn't know. Of course she doesn't. This chick can't hold a candle of creativity to Madonna, she doesn't have a tenth of the vocal range of Mariah Carey, and she only wishes she had the dance finesse of Janet Jackson. Basically, she is completely up the creek without a paddle.
Britney's audience is all grown up, graduating from college and working their first, real world jobs. They are not going to pay $75 per ticket to watch her lip sync a concert, so bubblegum pop music is not an option, and the girl doesn't have much talent beyond that. Basically, Britney's option is to invest well, make as many guest appearances as possible, write a "tell all" book about how shitty stardom was, and if she is a bit savvy, become a goodwill ambassador to some foreign, cheeky country like Lichtenstein.
I don't want to hear her bitching or crying anymore about getting questioned harshly by the ER doctors when she took her kid in after he fell from a high chair. She said the doctor was very unreasonable, and that famous people weren't always treated fairly in certain situations. However, what she wanted was preferential treatment, particularly in this case. The problem was that the ER doctor didn't worship her starlet status, and questioned her the same way the doc would have questioned any other parent who walked in with a potentially concussed infant. The doc sent DSHS out for a visit to her home, which was probably routine as well, but Ms. Spears couldn't get over the audacity. Sucks being treated like a normal person, eh?
Britney yammered on about how she loved being a mom and that it was all 100% rosy and wonderful, which means that in addition to not having talent, she is also a lying bitch. Then again, when you don't have to change your own kid's 5-alarm diapers or attend playgroups with extreme sleep deprivation, I guess motherhood could be all glorious. She talked about how she was a housewife at heart, and loved to do the cooking, cleaning and laundry. Perhaps when you only have to deal with it occasionally, it can be an amusing novelty, and of course, in classic Britney Spears style with her tits hanging out of her shirt the entire interview, she told a fairly whipped, Mr. Lauer, that the reason people take pot shots at her is because she is a sweet, Southern girl who has a good heart and just wants to love everyone. Can you see me vomiting yet?
Between Karl and Britney, I needed another vacation from reality. I also need to spend a lot of time reading Jewish philosophy to figure out how come those fucks, who appear to be a waste of skin, are on top of the world, while good folks who cement their lives in a reality void of extreme ego, are left at the sidelines. However, I take solace in knowing that it will only be a matter of time before Karl and Britney are insignificant. She will age and max out her guest appearances, maybe have a slight resurgence after the Playboy pictorial, he will get sidelined after someone more politically slimy comes along, and then the magical day will come when he will be relegated to a pre-commercial trivia question on MSNBC, and she will be featured on VH-1's Where Are They Now. Can you see me smiling yet?
5 comments:
Wow...that was pretty good..
Always wanted to be rich n bone idle. Got the bone idle off to a tee but never managed the rich. Is that what I should do? Become a massive arsehole - or a bigger one than now maybe - and then I've got it made. Poor n idle. Least I can look in the mirror n not grimace too much....
Indeed it was C'est!
I have worked with a few 'z'list celebs in my time in private practice. Awful to the last they were.
Fragile ego's, 'pour me' syndrome. Frankly if you moan about the press following you, give everything up and eat pie for a few years. Refuse to do any more 'singing' or 'acting' and live life uner a psuedonym.
Obvious isnt it? Funny how she wont tho.
Britney is a cock. As you rightly say, her career options are severely limited, so she may as well just accept that, shut up, and move on. Her only appeal was as an almost-innocent Lolita type, and that has now all gone. Motherhood and marrying someone who looks like a wifebeater will undoubtedly do that to most young women. I mean, she can hardly go prancing around in a school uniform now, can she? She is also probably shitting herself at the possibility of K-Fed's tell-all autobiog.
while I agree that Rove is suspect, I dislike him for how he used information. He never broke the law. Plame was not a undercover operative for several years and thus revealing her identity did not, technically, break a law. He was purpsoefully trying to discredit people and as such he placed the information out there.
I suspect that the reason why a law suit hasn't been brought forth is that the merit of the law suit would be shaky at best.
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