Dethroning Midas

In the '80s, I was an MTV addict. I loved that they played music videos non-stop, had special feature shows about music such as Headbanger's Ball and 120 Minutes, and had VJs who seemed to live to eat, sleep and breathe music. I adored MTV News, because it reported on what music was being made in a given scene. One of the main reasons I loved MTV was, because its mission in life was to reflect what was happening in music.

This all changed after about a decade in existence when MTV's focus shifted from reflecting the culture to dictating it. Perhaps at some point they realized they had real power. I saw an interview not too long ago with a member of Duran Duran, who remembered that the moment they realized MTV was a defining force was at Live Aid, a benefit concert on two continents that brought together anyone who was anyone in music. The Duranie was on stage during the final act when the number of stars could rival the universe, and he looked over and saw two of MTV's top producers standing next to him. Two production guys onstage with mega rockstars. MTV was very good to Duran Duran, so the band member didn't want to state the obvious, which was that the two producers didn't belong there.

This is how I've felt for nearly the past two decades watching Fox News and the entire News Corp. organization in their rises to power. The media in the United States has always been hailed as the beloved and respected Fourth Institution. There is the Executive branch controlled by the president, the Legislative branch controlled by Congress and the Senate, and the Judicial ruled by the Supreme Court. Until the rise of Fox News, the media had been the fourth branch that kept a watch over the other three. The media was an added layer of protection to the people of this country. They were the quality checkers who inspected the toys before the stores put them on the shelves for your kids. They were the brave journalists who made politicians up to no good shutter when they walked through the door. All that changed when Rupert Murdoch and Fox News broke into the U.S. market and picked their team.

Traditionally, there has always been a bit of a bias one way or another depending on the source of the information. Even the networks weren't exempt from a story that leaned more to the right than to the left, but they made an honest effort to keep themselves in check. Not Fox News. They came out of the gate as unapologetic, right-wing, Republican slanted news, and to add insult to injury, left their slogan, "Fair and Balanced" hanging like a smirk on the face of a date rapist. To anyone who was a true fan of the institution of media, and its history, Fox News was and still is absolutely infuriating.

At the heart of their sick world is Rupert Murdoch, himself. A tireless opportunist who seats himself at the throne of News Corp. like a golden king. He dictates talking points to further his own political and financial agenda without a care in the world of what that agenda will look like in the real world, because plain and simply, he doesn't live in the real world.

Murdoch can have his stations advocate for a candidate in the U.S. who he happens to like without a care in the world for how the candidate will effect policy if he is elected. How many people has Murdoch sent to Washington D.C. via his barrage of highly questionable information and agenda-driven spin delivered by Fox News, who have voted against the best interests of the American people? I am, by no means, putting all of the blame on Fox News and its management, the folks who think that all they have to do is wave a flag and love Jesus, and the economy will be magically cured by capitalists are just as much to blame. However, consistent and deliberate studies from thousands of universities throughout the world have proven media's extensive impact on people and their decision-making processes.

This information in the right hands results in people wearing their seatbelts to be safe, sneezing into their elbows to prevent the spread of colds, and washing their hands to stem the tide of communicable diseases and illnesses. In the wrong hands, it results in fraudulent elections, poor people advocating for the wealthy guy who will make their living situation worse, and the blind hatred and persecution of country music trios who exercise their First Amendment right of free speech.

The fortunate thing is that Murdoch has finally been called to the table to answer for his crimes against journalism, albeit long overdue. I find it incredibly ironic that he is called out by a country with state-run media rather than the country with "freedom of the press", but at least someone has the chutzpah to take him on. I have always valued my motto that "when you sail a paper ship, it has to sink eventually", and I hope it reigns true in this case. There is nothing more in the world that I would love than to wake up in the morning and watch a real 1960s-style newscast. No cute banter, no supermodel-like newscasters, no punditry, no opinion, just real, honest to goodness, fair and balanced news.

As Time Goes By

I have returned to my old stomping ground to attend my 20 year high school reunion this weekend. Although, with urban growth and development, the prairies and fields I used to ride past on my way to school have been replaced by clusters of replica single family homes and business parks with Starbucks-like coffee shops.

It's hard for me to believe it has been 20 years. It seems like only last week I was sitting in Mr. Estell's health class on one of those sunny warm days close to the end of the school year, looking out at the lawn space in between buildings and figured out that I would be 27 years old when the new millennium came around, and 38 years old at the 20 year high school reunion. To my 18 year old self, it was a lifetime away.

In some ways, the past 20 years have been a lifetime. I got married twice (fortunately the second has turned out much better than the first), I've traveled the world, earned two educational degrees, gave birth to two amazing daughters, buried two of my three parents, moved residences more times than I can count, and have managed to fit into nearly every pant size on the retail spectrum.

I always dreamed that I would go back to my 20 year reunion as the picture of health and success, that I would be that enviable person who made it out and came back with fabulous stories to tell. Those thoughts were the musings of a woman much younger. Now I see that we are all coming back, successful in our own right with our own variety of stories to tell. Although some people have done more than others, at this age, envy is few and far between.

Through the magic of Facebook I have reconnected with the wonderful people I knew in high school and some who I didn't know as well, but have since become more familiar, because our views and experiences are more clearly aligned. The bright side of Facebook is that you are able to reconnect with wonderful people you knew from your past, the dark side is that some of those people are now Teabaggers.

There are many things I would have done differently in the past 20 years, but for the most part, I don't regret the life that I've lived or the experiences that I've had. However, if I could go back and do it all over again, I would have definitely made more of a concerted effort to lay off the carbs.

I'm Getting Off My Ass & Writing

Perhaps it was due to recently finishing the amazing Patti Smith autobiography, "Just Kids" that drew me back to my very neglected blog.

I used this blog for years to vent about everything from diapers to gender politics, then I moved, went to work at a very busy company, and suffered a severe degree of writers block. I haven't been able to write for the past few years. Whenever I would click over to my blog, I would feel like the words just wouldn't come out in a presentable form. This has never happened to me. All my life, I've been able to write. Writing was one of those talents that came easy to me. I never had to practice to be good at it. I just put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard, and out came something fabulous.

I'm not sure what caused my writer's block, and I'm not sure that forcing myself to write regularly again will cure it, but I have to try. I used to be an avid bike rider. I loved getting on a bike and going for miles. It was such a joy to feel my legs powering my mobility while the wind whipped through my hair. Then I moved to Seattle, where the rain is rivaled only by the steepness of the hills, and I gave up riding. Upon relocating to Southern California, I vowed to get back on the bike, it took me three years, and now, I barely know how to ride. I've always heard; if you don't use it, you lose it, so I'm back to writing, because I don't want to lose it.

I plan to carve out at least 15 minutes per day to put my thoughts down, and we'll see what happens. My hope is to re-gain my love and ease for writing. I have two books that I started, but haven't come close to finishing. I could care less if they ever get published, but I would like to finish them. So here I go...wish me luck.

Cost of War to Date

Since we are coming to the end of 2010, and I've heard a lot of people bagging on the healthcare legislation, while championing the tax cuts for the wealthy, I thought I would take it upon myself to post a current tally of our biggest national expense (spoiler alert: It isn't education or infrastructure...though it should be).

$4-$6 trillion for the ongoing wars in Iraq and Afghanistan that include some of the following expenses that we are paying for instead repairing aging bridges, improving our education system, investing in development that will result in a better future for our kids:

$547 million P.R. money to sell us on the war

$100 million security contract in Afghanistan to XE (a subsidiary of Blackwater)

$840 billion per year on inefficient military spending (i.e. manufacturing parts for weaponry that is out of date or no longer needed)

$27 billion to citizen mercenary groups in Iraq and Afghanistan

$51 billion to military for no-bid contracts

$6 billion to Blackwater to train cops in Iraq

$7.5 billion in aid to Pakistan

$500 million dollar planes that cannot fly in the rain

$9 billion in cash sent to Iraq that cannot be accounted for

$1.5 billion for a new embassy in Iraq

$1.2 billion over five years to boost Yemen's security forces

$60 billion training and supporting Afghan troops

$375 million for arms for citizen mercenaries in Iraq and Afghanistan

$4.2 million New York City penthouse for the Afghani Ambassador

A navy eleven times the size of the next most militarized nation

We spend 15 times more on our military than the next most militarized 26 nations combined, and 24 of those nations are our allies. We cannot afford our empire, and at this point, the upkeep of our empire will likely be the undoing of our country. By my guestimate, we are in the same place the U.K. was in the '70s; high unemployment, a waning empire, and a country so mired in red tape that the politicians couldn't get anything done. Let's hope we aren't making the U.S. last year's beauty queen.

The Great Palin Fraud

Newsweek magazine has given Sarah Palin, yet another, cover story to add to her plethora of coverage. She is teetering on over-exposure, but, to my great misfortune, hasn't become the social pariah she should be.

Don't get me wrong, I don't hold fame against anyone. Let the idiots from Jersey Shore have their moment in the sun. Give Spencer and Heidi their book deal. If a random, somewhat straight bachelor can find on-air love, more power to him. The deal is that these people all have to go away when their 15 minutes is done.

Unfortunately, Sarah Palin, the greatest no-talent, reality show star of them all is still here. My question at this point is 'Why?'.

Sarah got her big break when John McCain chose her as his running mate in 2008. One would think that would be a nod to her experience, intellect, and political savviness, but in this case, it wasn't. The timing of this choosing happened to coincide with Hillary Clinton's rise in popularity. She had become such an extraordinary candidate that there was no ignoring the fact that the ladies on both the right and left were pulling for Ms. Hillary. Although she was losing the party's nomination, the idea that she and Obama would join forces would have certainly sunk the McCain campaign, so in desperation, the Republicans went on a vagina hunt.

Although there were many great Republican women with incredible talent to choose from, they needed a vagina with a little pep, one that wouldn't upstage McCain, and one that would fit into his 'women belong in the kitchen obeying their men' persona. Hence, Palin was pulled from Mooseland and into the spotlight, along with her opinionated husband, non-college bound children, one of which was pregnant at 17, and her terrible record as a mayor, which at the time, was the longest public office she had held.

She was great at reading from a teleprompter, which is what she went to several colleges to learn how to do, and she looked really fantastic in expensive business suits. She used ignorant, folksy language to claim that she related to people even though most of us would have likely turned around and walked away in disgust had she said the same thing to us in real life. In the end, McCain lost, and Sarah was supposed to go back to Alaska only to be seen again during a CNN 'where are they now' show in 2012, but Sarah had other plans.

The limelight is intoxicating, and no one is exempt from it, not even Princess Palin, and here is where the fraud comes in. While television shows still regard her as governor, the fact is that she didn't really govern. She was in office a short time before she started campaigning for Vice President, which took her out of the state for nearly a year, and then came back for a few brief moments to resign. What did she really do for the people of Alaska aside from walking out on them when something bigger and better came along?

Arnold Schwarzenegger was elected to govern California, and he served his full term. If we compare the experiences side-by-side, governing Alaska is like governing an upper middle class preschool where the building is new, you have an assistant and healthy classroom budget, and all of the parents bend over backwards to help you. California, on the other hand, is like running an inner city middle school in a 100-year-old building with leaky pipes and no heat, where you have to beg a local dollar store for chalk so you can write the day's lesson on the blackboard, and most of the students you are teaching are becoming parents at the end of the semester.

California is in a huge financial crisis, whereas Alaska has their budget padded by oil revenues, something no other state has. The California legislature is corrupt, whereas Sarah's legislature was from the same party. California has one of the largest populations, severe border problems, and has yearly wildfires that create a constant strain on state resources. Alaska has none of these issues, yet Sarah didn't want to stick around. Arnold didn't have to, but he did.

Now Sarah is everywhere, and people talk about her running for president. Why? What will this person bring to the highest office in the land? She doesn't have a background in Constitutional education, neither learning it nor practicing it. She doesn't have much foreign policy knowledge, and given that we are in a huge trade debacle with one of our largest debt holders, we might need someone with a clue to figure that out. She doesn't have much of a record when it comes to leadership. She can talk folksy, and spew rhetoric about loving the U.S. of A and believing in Jesus, unfortunately, that doesn't translate into jobs, debt reduction, and dealing with two expensive and on-going wars.

It would be one thing if Sarah made it clear that all she wanted to be was a Fox News correspondent who was paid a healthy sum of money to give speeches. She could write books, have a half-hour show, and follow the Glenn Beck playbook on fame and wealth. I wouldn't hold it against her. However, her constant teasing at a presidential run constitutes fraud, because she isn't qualified for the office. She doesn't know how to deal with complex issues of state, and she doesn't have the intellectual capacity to review and decide on policy that will set America on the path of prosperity, yet she will go on television and pretend she does.

It's sad to think that I have more respect for Snookie from Jersey Shore than I do for a fellow suburb mom like Sarah, because Snookie would never attempt to do brain surgery. Brain surgery takes a lot of skill, intricate knowledge and years of experience, and Snookie would be the first one to tell you that she doesn't have any of that, because unlike Sarah, she isn't a fraud.

How About 'Team Bella'

I'm not a fan of the Twilight series, let me just get that our right now. I tried to make it through the first movie, and suffered a 45-minute assault of a melodramatic, self-loathing vampire and the dullest teenage girl in fiction. However, despite a complete lack in interest in high school vampire adventures, I have been consistently assaulted by a media obsessed with the three lead characters.

What has bugged me, aside from the excessive media coverage, is the idea that this teenage girl, Bella, is faced with choosing her 'swept me off my feet' vampire guy, Edward, or the 'hot best friend next door' werewolf guy, Jacob, in order to be happy.

Now I'm not such an old, married fossil that I don't remember how thrilling and exciting it was to have two guys interested in me at the same time. It's wonderful to feel wanted and pursued. For the teen and tween Twilight crowd, I can see the appeal, but I think the whole premise that her happiness is hinged on choosing one guy or the other is a bit backward and damaging.

In this day and age, we have more women than ever attending college, outranking men in the workforce, setting standards in art, literature, and independent film, yet I'm not sure why we, as a gender, remain tied to the ideals of the 1950s. Bella is 17 years old, why does she need to choose a guy to love? She should be more focused on choosing a college than choosing a mate.

In the next film, or part of the series, I think there is something about Bella focusing on college, but it takes a backseat to her relationship with her vampire guy. In an age where women can no longer rely on men to take care of them, is this the message we want to give to young girls? Many have justified Twilight's positive message, because Bella and Edward don't do the nasty until they are married. Big freakin' deal. Bella is still so emotionally dependent on Edward that she focuses more on him than on herself, which is wrong. Teenagers should be self-absorbed to an extent, because it gives them the ability to focus on their dreams, ambitions, and what they want to do with their lives.

Author Stephanie Meyer has to continue the series, but she should have ended with Bella choosing neither. Bella could have given both guys a kind let-down as she headed off to college to pursue a degree in psychology. Audiences could have been left wondering what Bella's life would have been like with Jacob or Edward, and in a day and age when technology has wreaked havoc on imagination time, it would have been a much healthier Team Jacob vs. Team Edward discussion.

Wife, Mother & The One Without Identity

I'm nearly 40 and it is still amazing to me how much women are expected to give up in their lives.

I spent 18 years looking out a window. My childhood was bleak and controlled. I lived in a small town with little opportunity. I looked forward to the day when I could break out on my own, and get on with my life, so figuratively, I spent 18 years looking out a window.

When I did finally make it into the real world, via college, I raged. I didn't want to be in school, tied down with studies, I wanted to be out there making action happen, pursuing a career in the music business. I was so very restless. If I would have had more insight, and bravery, I would have run screaming from my family, who always made a point to hold me back, and from that school. To this day, this is still my biggest regret; that I wanted to please unhappy, miserable parents, more than I wanted to go after my future.

I used my first marriage as an escape route, and began to get on with my life. I went to art school, began working in the music biz, and all was well, except my marriage, which consequently took a backseat to my ambition. Of course, it always takes two to create dysfunction, so I can't take total blame for the marital demise, but you live and learn.

It seems like all at once, I left the music industry, got married for a second time, entered into a new career path, and for a short time, (too short now that I'm looking back on it) I was a wife in an egalitarian marriage, the career woman better known as an 'up and comer', and felt like a completely independent being in control of my life.

Then I became a mother. Don't get me wrong, I have two amazing little girls who light up my life, but no one ever told me how much I would have to give up when I became a mother. I knew the body would take a beating, but physically I've never been fabulous, so it was no big deal. I knew that my sleep pattern would suffer, but I just put a fist in the air with the mantra, 'I'll sleep when I die'. I was willing to stay home for awhile, but I can't say I enjoyed it.

I like going into an office, dressing professionally, being respected and appreciated. You don't get that by having a clean house, well behaved children, or dinner on the table at night. I made the fatal error of believing that my husband would pitch in on an equal level. Again, no one ever tells women that men will only come to the table so much when it comes to keeping a home and rearing a child. Even when I was working full-time, I was still the primary care giver for the child, and expected to keep the house a home.

I once heard a young woman criticize the second wave feminists for encouraging women to be in the work force, because now we have to do it all. The response by Gloria Steinem was priceless. She explained to this woman that the original game plan was that women would be given choices to determine their own destiny, and men would step up and assume equal responsibility when it came to keeping a home and child rearing. Unfortunately the fatal flaw was that when women stepped up, men stepped back, and we didn't call them on it. We let them get away with making us do everything, and now the result is a younger generation of women who have very little interest in marriage or children. I can't say I blame them.

I find myself at home once again with a baby, a home business that remains quite neglected, and not much left to be excited about. As much as I love the baby, I can't stand feeling like I'm back staring out a window. I know this is temporary, the baby will grow up quickly, but it is hard for me to stand still.

Perhaps, during this dour time, the right thing to do is Google that old poster I used to see in my Junior High gym coach's office; the tabby kitten hanging from a bar that reads, "Hang in there", and make it my screen saver. This too shall pass, but in the meantime, I will learn not to expect too much from those I used to rely on, and I'll try to stay away from windows.