Friday, August 17, 2007

Weekly Recap 8/12-18: Questioning Government Honesty & Bush Spawn

Headline News Recap

News sources everywhere are claiming that the majority of Americans will not be likely to trust the Iraq report due to be delivered by General David Petraeus in September. Gees, I’m not sure why that is, because the Administration has been so forthright and honest about the war in Iraq up to this point.

Speaking of capitalist driven disasters, efforts to rescue the miners trapped at the Crandall Canyon Mine came to a screeching halt yesterday when three rescue workers were killed and six were severely injured. This is the saddest story I’ve seen in awhile, but the one thing on my mind is, why the fuck are we still mining! Seriously, haven’t we come far enough along in technology where we have a method of getting energy that doesn’t involve black lung disease?

Okay, one last capitalist disaster story, Republican politicians are jumping ship in droves lest they have their collective asses handed to them in the 2008 election. Former House Speaker Dennis Hastert is retiring as is Mississippi Congressman Chip Pickering, and Ohio Congresswoman Deborah Pryce, who was at one time the 4th ranking GOP leader, has said she won’t run again. I think Deborah is wrong, at this point it seems all of the Republicans are running.

A 92-year-old man is being deported by the U.S. Justice Department as part of an investigation that discovered, Vladas Zajanckauskas, lied on his citizenship application about his whereabouts during World War II. Apparently he forgot to mention that he was part of the Nazi unit that took part in the liquidation of the Warsaw Ghetto. During that little operation, thousands were killed, beaten and raped, and 47,000 Jews were carted off to concentration camps. A few people said they felt sorry for the guy, but I caution to remember that only the good die young, evil bastards live to be old as fuck. I guess this is my second “Adios, Motherfucker” of the week.

President Bush’s hell-raising daughter Jenna is engaged to be married to former White House aid, Karl Rove intern, and future heartless capitalist, Henry Hager. Do you think they would be too insulted if I got them a gift certificate for a vasectomy for a wedding present? I just don’t think anything Bush should spawn; it’s not good for future generations.

In Local News

I went to Sacramento last weekend to work an event. It was very Idaho-like in nature, which made me glad that I was there a little over 24 hours and not much more than that. Aside from Arnold as the Governator, they really don’t have much going on up there.

My little dog lost a toenail this week, and we had to take him to the vet. They wrapped it in a soft cast, so now it looks like he’s wearing a yellow sock. I don’t care how educated, sophisticated, or what age you are, dogs wearing anything on their feet looks really funny.

Worthless Entertainment News

The 30th anniversary of Elvis Presley’s death was this week. To commemorate the occasion, many of his fans gathered at Graceland. I would have loved to have been there, not because I’m a huge Elvis nut, but the people watching would have been priceless! Someone should tell that 300 lb. trucker from Alabama that the Vegas Elvis haircut with the large, gold glasses is not something you do every day of the year, just on Halloween.

The pop world is in a huff, because Lily Allen canceled her U.S. tour. First off, her music isn’t all that, and is probably enhanced like crazy on the CD. Give your kid sister a karaoke machine, and it would be the same as seeing the actual show. Second, if Lily is canceling her tour, because she’s tired and drunk all the time then you don’t want to pay $50 to see her. I saw a far more talented Shelby Lynne perform once when she was tanked, she played for all of 30 minutes and was barely able to remember the lyrics. Thankfully, I didn’t have to pay for the show, or I would have been really pissed. If you want to see a really talented gal who does great music and has a unique personality, then do the smart thing, and catch Tori Amos on her upcoming tour.

Asshole(s) of the Week

Rudy Giuliani – Presidential candidate and New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani gave a rather pithy answer to a woman during a town hall meeting this week. She asked Giuliani why she should get behind him as a candidate if his own kids aren’t even on his side, to which the Giulster responded, “leave my family alone.” Sorry Rudy, but that’s not going to happen. You were fucking around on your former wife with your current wife, and you didn’t even talk to your daughter at her graduation. You also happened to be running for the party that has staked a claim to being the party that speaks for American family values, which means that you can’t treat your kids like shit, fuck around on your wife, and expect that no one is going to notice just because you showed up to the Towers on 9/11. Prior to 9/11 not too many New Yorkers even liked you, because you turned the city into a police state and tried to shuttle the homeless to other, poorer boroughs instead of helping them. For asking everyone to respect a family that you haven’t given respect to, and for basically running your entire campaign on what you did during that 24 hours of a national tragedy, Rudy Giuliani, you are the Asshole of the Week.

5 comments:

Beezle said...

Hahaha, I grew up in Sacramento. It's disgustingly boring, isn't it? That's precisely why I needed a place such as New York City upon flying away from the nest.

alice, uptown said...

I think Rudy lost the family-values sweepstakes in marriage #1, to his cousin, and it was all downhill from there. Didn't like him when he got elected (so hard to say who the lesser of two evils is in this town, but when it comes down to it, I vote Democratic come hell or high water), can't stand him now, and what is happening with the first-responders to 9/11 doesn't make the Republicans look any better.

FOUR DINNERS said...

How come nobody has assassinated Bush? You guys used to be good at stuff like that. A Pres comes along worth shooting and nowt happens.....

Lily Allen is a great singer but drug addled. Maybe she wouldn't be so good without drugs and booze. Maybe she won't be alive much longer with 'em....

He's got an Italian name. Maybe he thinks he's a sort of Godfather and can't be touched?

Lauuuuren said...

You rock my world with this kickass blog of yours.
I suppose there is a little bit of hope left for humanity.
thanks :)

Lauren

Braindead Betty said...

I don’t care how educated, sophisticated, or what age you are, dogs wearing anything on their feet looks really funny.

You're so right. I hope your little doggy is feeling better, though.