Thought of the Day: How Do You Like Them Apples !?!

My daughter's birthday celebration was fantastic. She showed up to Chuck E. Cheese in her Pepto Bismol pink princess costume. Prior to Sunday, she had worn it all of five minutes before tearing it from her body like it was burning her skin, but that morning, she sat in the middle of the living room floor in her underwear, and proclaimed, "If I can't wear my princess dress, I'm not going." It was her birthday, so I let her wear the costume figuring it would be off the moment we got to the place with the shittiest pizza known to man, but, hats off to her, she wore that costume the whole time.

The party was only supposed to be from 1:00 - 2:30, but we finally left at 4:30. I was exhausted and deaf, but the munchkin was happy, and the dad got some good footage, so all was well. We went home, opened gifts, and rested for all of 30 minutes before we were out meeting my folks-in-law to celebrate with a birthday dinner. She was sung to by the waitstaff and got to eat a big sundae without finishing her meal. Any 4-year-old kid should have thanked their lucky stars for this dream day, but I've learned that my daughter isn't your typical 4-year-old.

As I was changing her into her jammies that night, she was clearly exhausted. I told her it was time to go to sleep, and in two seconds, she stood up on her bed, got in my face and said, "Mommy, I'm 4-years-old now, I do what I want."

21 fucking hours of labor, countless sleepless nights, ear infections, teething, kissing ouchies, the loss of a great set of boobs to gravity, and it's 'I do what I want.' Thankfully, I'm not one to lose my cool. I looked at her and said, "Do you drive a car?"

She thought and replied, "Yes, Grandma and Papa gave me a car." (referring to the little electric, way too expensive gift my in-laws gave her the day before)

"Do you drive a big car?" I asked.

"No." she said.

"Do you make money?"

"No." she said sticking her pouty lip out.

"Then I guess you have to listen to me for a few more years." I smiled.

Mommy wins again, but for how long is the question.