Sarah Palin: Pretty Vacant

Men in power never cease to amaze me, not because they do great or mighty things. No, they amaze me by doing such stupid shit, I can't believe they are in the power positions they are in. The latest dipshit move by a powerful man is Sarah Palin.

Fresh on the heels of watching Hillary Clinton lose the primaries, Republicans recognized a void. There were a lot of pissed off ladies who were Hillary fans, and they wanted to capitalize on this anger to win votes; enter Sarah Palin. She was a woman, a governor, a right-wing lunatic conservative, and completely unknown meaning she was unlikely to be linked to scandal. In the mind of a Republican male, especially an old, Republican male like John McCain, she was the perfect pick. She would enable him to get all of the Hillary gals on board the "straight talk express".

The only problem is that John McCain is a man, and again, an old, traditional man who hasn't a clue about the mental workings of the younger generation of gals he was marketing Sarah to. He also made simplistic assumptions: Sarah is a working mom, therefore working moms would be able to relate to her. Unfortunately, she is a working mom who has the hypocritical view of touting her family as her first priority, but went back to work three days after giving birth to a Down's Syndrome child. Most women I've talked to, both conservative and liberal, couldn't believe that.

Sarah is all for traditional family values, and women who are into family values will like that, which would make sense if her daughter wasn't knocked up at 17. Traditional family values, again, dictates that your family comes first, and if you're daughter is banging a hockey-lovin', self-proclaimed redneck, where the hell are you to knock some sense into her head?

The final blow to the whole 'chicks will dig Sarah, just because she's a woman' theory was the fact that she was anti-choice even in the case of rape and incest. A woman who believes women aren't smart enough to make their own choices, and don't believe they should be relieved of a burden after an act of sexual violence?!? Nice going dipshits!

Despite all the above, the simplistic, powerful males in the Republican party still believed Sarah was a winner, and they put her out there to read a great speech from one of Resident Bush's speech writers at the convention. They raved about how well she did reading the speech, which really shouldn't be surprising since she worked as a news anchor before running the thriving metropolis that is Wasilla, Alaska.

There was a lot of attention paid to Sarah, which was exciting to a campaign that was damn near dead. However, as time has wore on, the audience that Sarah was brought on board to secure is getting sick of her, and here's why: she's cute.

Again, the powerful men made a dipshit decision by choosing beauty over brains. Sarah's a lovely looking gal, we know that, but most of us are getting really fucking sick of looking at her face. She botched the Katie Couric interviews, and used way too many "ya sure, you betchas" during the debate with Joe Biden. In her effort to be Miss Cutesy Tootsie, she is pissing off the average American woman. There is nothing we hate more than watching a bitch with no brains advance in the world, because she's pretty.

Now, all of the men are raving over Sarah, not because of her opinions on policy or her revolutionary ideas, no, they like her sunshine smile, and her laugh. This might be cool if we were talking about the star of the latest Disney movie, but we are talking about the potential second in charge of a country that is failing miserably. Women don't relate to smiles and shtick, they relate to a strong woman with a brain who faces adversity and does her best with what she has, and if she happens to be less than a beauty queen, all the better.

I smiled when I first saw Sarah, because I knew what those men had done and what they were thinking. I knew they would fail miserably, like they always do when they underestimate the fairer sex. For next time, gentlemen, just remember, if there's one thing a woman hates, it's another woman who gets four times further in life by doing half the work, which is Miss Sarah in a nutshell.