Unqualified Advice from the Weight Loss Front

When I was pregnant, I read a plethora of books where future mommies said their main annoyance came from unsolicited advice given to them by other women. This was not the case with me. As a first time mom, I knew I was unqualified for the job and any hints of wisdom given by women who were far more experienced were very welcomed. The unsolicited advice that irks me the most these days comes from people, mainly celebrities, who decide to take on an “authority” label and give their Cracker Jack box tidbits of wisdom about weight loss.

Dr. Phil and Star Jones have both written books on weight loss. This is not only laughable, but completely ridiculous. First off, Dr. Phil isn’t the sveltest person in the world. He is also in the psychiatry field and has access to countless medical journals that talk, in depth; about the damage that unrealistic body image does to females, and a small percentage of males, in our society. As an actual doctor, if he was going to write a book about weight, shouldn’t it be from the standpoint of “deal with your own body and love it” or “your health is more important than the aesthetics of your physicality, so do that extra jog for cardio vascular fitness instead of a tight ass.” Instead, he gives the same old diatribe about smaller portion sizes, eating slowly, and all of the stuff that everyone else tells you, but with the signature Dr. Phil bluntness that melodramatic daytime television fans seem to love.

Then there’s good ol’ Star. The woman obviously had a some sort of procedure done or has spent the past year living on Slimfast shakes, because you don’t drop a heaping ton of weight, like Ms. Jones has, in such a short span of time without taking radical steps. If she doesn’t want to come out and say how she lost her weight, that’s fine by me, because I don’t give a fuck. However, when she writes a book about health and weight loss, I have to stand up and call bullshit on it. Hollywood and the media may be marketing the gastric bypass as the latest miracle, weight loss procedure, but it has a really, bad side to it. People have died from having this procedure done, others have had major infections that have led to various health complications, and for some who did the procedure successfully, the reduction of a mass amount of weight in such a short period of time, has put a strain on their heart thus leading to the prescription of medication. So much for miracles!

When Star Jones doesn’t want to reveal her secret to losing weight, yet attempts to sell a $27 book telling you how you should lose weight, that just wreaks of hypocrisy. She also includes info in her book about how to have a happy marriage, have a relationship with G-d, be successful in business, and a bunch of other crap that, once again, appeals mainly to melodramatic daytime television fans.

The other day, I went to check out a few gyms in my area, because I’m down 40 lbs. and now I need to concentrate on toning up. I went into one of the national chain places, and the guy congratulated me on my weight loss then told me that his gym offered a better program to get results faster and more effective. He insisted on giving me his sales pitch, and all I could hear was the sound of the cash register from the beginning of Pink Floyd’s “Money.”

What the two television talk gurus and the little guy at the chain gym don’t realize is that quick fix weight loss doesn’t work! As someone who has dropped three pant sizes and 40 lbs, I’m more qualified to give advice on weight loss than any of these people. It’s taken me since the end of June 2005 to get to where I am. Some weeks I lose a half a pound, and just have to be happy with that. I chose Weight Watchers as my program, because I have tried every fad diet in the world, and WW is the only program that teaches you how to alter your lifestyle instead of giving you a diet regimen.

The other major secret no one wants to reveal about weight loss is that it’s not easy. There is no magic pill or secret liquid or bullshit meditation. I resist sweets regularly, sometimes while watching my friends and family enjoy them. I workout four days a week, sweat like a pig while I’m doing it, and have sore, tired muscles afterwards. I measure my food at dinnertime, and keep a daily journal of everything I eat. Yes, I might look better in my clothes, but the advantage I have now over my former, more zaftig self is that when my crazy-assed toddler decides in a nano-second to run like hell through a store, I am able to be right behind her.

It’s kind of sad to think that the best celebrity weight loss advice I have heard in recent memory came from Kate Hudson. When one of those ridiculous entertainment news shows raved over her weight loss after she had her son and asked her how she did it, her reply was “I worked my ass off.” She went into detail about how she spent six days a week exercising for three hours per day, and existed for nearly a year on a 1200 calorie-a-day diet. Kudos for her honesty, but let’s keep in mind that Ms. Hudson probably also had a nanny, housekeeper, chef, personal trainer, and an army of other assistants to help keep her on track, while most of us average folks just have a spouse who asks us if we’re working out tonight while wolfing down Cheetos.

Weight loss is not an easy thing, and while the majority of Americans could use to drop a few pounds, I think the media has a heyday exaggerating the idea that most U.S. residents are one piece of cake away from a triple bypass. The unfortunate thing is that if we are in a serious health crisis, unsolicited, idiot advice from celebrities looking to cash in on unrealistic ideas of beauty isn’t going to lead to any sort of long term solution, and will only serve to annoy the rest of us who are trying to make a legitimate lifestyle change.