Weekly Recap 10/22-28: Rush to Judgment & Dirty Ads

Headline News Recap
Rush Limbaugh proved, once again, that he was nothing more than a human piece of garbage by lashing out at beloved actor, Michael J. Fox. Mike recently filmed an ad in support of Missouri candidate Clair McHaskill, and her advocacy of stem cell research. In the ad, Michael J. appears fully medicated, yet still suffering the tremors and spasms, while talking about how stem cell research could really help people afflicted with Parkinson’s. After the ad appeared, Rush accused Mike of acting, purposely not taking his medication, as well as using his disease to stump for Democrats. To absorb this whole scenario, I feel it is only fair to give the two men a healthy comparison.

·Michael J. Fox – Happily married to his wife, Tracy, for nearly two decades, father of four children.
·Rush Limbaugh – Currently in his fourth marriage, no kids, but constantly criticizes people who are “anti-family values.”
·Michael J. Fox – Through his extensive acting career gave us lovable characters such as Alex Keaton, Marty McFly, and Mike from his last show, Spin City.
·Rush Limbaugh – Gave us negative, hateful talk radio and ushered in an era where telling blatant lies on-air to influence public opinion sunk politics to a frightening new low.
·Michael J. Fox – Currently takes a cocktail of medication prescribed by doctors to reduce the uncontrollable muscle spasms caused by Parkinson’s disease.
·Rush Limbaugh – Regularly hit up his Hispanic housekeeper to score OxyContin for him, while publicly criticizing drug addicts as a detriment to society on his daily radio program.

Once again, Rush is a piece of shit, and I really hope there is some new research and technology out there that Michael J. can utilize soon or that guy isn’t going to make it to 50.

White House mouthpiece Tony Snow came out back peddling in a fervor claiming that Resident Bush doesn’t use the term, “stay the course”. Hmmm…you would think that Tony Snow, having worked in the media all these years, would be aware of these new fangled thingamajiggers called cameras, and that some of these fancier cameras can record sound and movement as well as taking pretty pictures. Nice try, Tony, but your boy Bushy is to “stay the course” as peanut butter is to jelly.

Scientists have discovered the cause of why champagne is bubbly, and I have discovered that sometimes people with big college degrees and buttloads of research money have way too much time on their hands.

Television campaign ads sunk to a new low this week in the congressional race in Tennessee between Republican Bob Corker and Democrat Harold Ford, Jr. The ad features a blonde bimbo type talking about how she met Ford in the Playboy mansion or some weird crap like that, anyways the NAACP went apeshit when they saw it claiming that, because Ford is black, it plays on the whole racist fear of black men dominating white women. Normally, when someone cries about someone else not being politically correct I think they are a bunch of whiners, but I saw the ad, and it was totally racist, and the Republican National Committee can talk until they are blue in the face, but they meant every racist innuendo that was suggested in this ad. The RNC says they had black people look at the ad prior to it airing to let them know if it was racist, but c’mon guys, Condoleezza would give the thumbs up to anything to keep her power.

The mystery over how the crap got into the lettuce and spinach may be over. It was discovered that wild pigs have been the cause of the E.coli bacteria contamination of spinach and lettuce crops in California. My recommendation is to sharpen a stick at both ends, and send Jack after him (i.e. obscure Lord of the Flies reference).

In Local News
I’m still a touch exhausted from attending the Placebo show last night (Thursday night) at The Showbox. They were opening for some shitty, new band that I didn’t stick around for. Placebo was fantastic, and most likely, if you are from the U.K., you know who they are. Placebo was one of the headliners of Bob Geldof’s Live 8 concert series, because they are that big in England and Europe. Over here, no one really knows them, so I’ll kindly direct my fellow Americans to check them out at www.placeboworld.co.uk. They rock!

Things I Don’t Give a Fuck About This Week
I don’t give a fuck about Madonna’s adopted Malawian son. If the woman wants a baby from Africa and went through the whole paperwork and courts bullshit, then more power to her. They say that the adoption went through quickly, because she’s a celebrity. Of course it did, because that’s what happens when you have money, fame, and power. If Michael Jackson can be the legal father of two blonde-haired, blue-eyed kids, and one black one for the whole image thing, then Madonna should be left alone.

I don’t give a fuck about Kevin Federline’s latest acting role, and while I’m on the subject, why does anyone still give a flying fuck what Brittney Spears does, says, or looks like. She and her trailer trash hubby and her cock tease act are so over.

I don’t give a fuck about Snoop Dogg getting arrested for weapons and drug possession. He’s Snoop Dogg; of course he’s packing a gun and has pot on him at all times, he’s Snoop Dogg. What did you think you were going to find a box of tic tacs and some hand lotion?

Quote of the Week
“We believe there has been a misunderstanding.” – Spokeswoman for Naomi Campbell after she was arrested for attacking her drug counselor making this incident her eighth arrest for assault-related charges. There is no misunderstanding here; Naomi is one crazy bitch. She may look pretty, but this chick has serious issues. Not only should she be locked up for a while, but she is in serious need of anger management training. The world may be her oyster now, but in 20 years she will just be old, violent, and crazy, and that’s never a good combination just ask Courtney Love.