Celebrity Spawn

Viable energy policy be damned, have you seen how much People Magazine paid Brad and Angelina for pictures of their newborn twins! In America's race to be the most celeb-obsessed country, I think we've actually hit number one, which is good because we haven't been number one in the world for anything in a long time, except Greenhouse gas emissions.

People paid $14 million to the Jolie-Pitts for their kiddie pics, and I'm not going to lay one iota of blame on the uber-beautiful, megastar couple. Why not take the money. If People can sell a minimum of 3.5 million copies of that issue in order to recoup kiddie pic payoff money, why not let snoopy folks get their fill of baby pics. This is, after all, a couple who has their own charitable foundation, and used the money from pics of their last baby to fund it.

If someone (aside from sickos and child molesters) wanted to pay me a ridiculous sum of money for pics of my kid, my first instinct would be to look at my beloved little girl and say, "give Mommy a big smile, Sweetie, you're going to Harvard".

I've heard commentary claiming that the Jolie-Pitts are terrible, because they are selling pictures of their kids, but the truth is that stalker photographers would have hounded them mercilessly anyways, so why not cash in. As for the safety of the two newest and weirdly named Jolie-Pitt kids, they are newborns. Within two months they will look nothing like the overpriced photos People shelled out bank for.

The most pathetic aspect I can see from this whole situation is that Americans have become so obsessed with celebrity that $14 million isn't unreasonable for celebrity spawn photos. When it comes down to it, do you really care what someone's kid (aside from relatives and friends) looks like?

The only thing that would remotely motivate me to purchase the Jolie-Pitt spawn issue of People is if the twins were conjoined. Now that would be something to shell out $4 for.