Headline News Recap
When did professional cyclists start ranking right up there with professional wrestlers when it came to doping? This week, Tour de France leader, Michael Rasmussen was removed when it was discovered that he failed to show up for the mandatory drug testing, which he later failed after doing a blood transfusion containing a banned substance. Wasn’t easier when they just used to drink Gatorade?
Republicans in the House and Senate are opposing a bill that would expand the Children’s Health Insurance Program covering an addition 5 million children who don’t have health insurance. The Democratic proposal calls for an increase in tobacco taxes and cuts in subsidies to private health insurance plans to pay for medical care for poor children. Those GOP bastards just get more and cuddlier by the day. They are denying health care coverage to kids just to block a bill proposed by Democrats. Way fucking pathetic, GOP, way fucking pathetic!
In news of the blatantly obvious, a scientific study proves that obesity can be social meaning that if your family is fat, and your friends are fat, then your ass isn’t likely to be all that small. Well, duh! What the study did leave out is the fact that hanging with fat friends and family tends to be way more fun, because think about it, would you rather spend your afternoon doing some shopping then hitting the Cheesecake Factory for lunch, or going for an hour-long power walk then finishing it off with a salad. Yep, 20 lbs. over is better than 20 lbs. under, no matter what those scientists say. By the way, have they come up with a cure for blindness yet?
The Democratic candidates squared off again for a CNN YouTube debate this week. All of them committed to working for minimum wage if they are elected president, which at this point seems ridiculous given the fact that the majority of them are millionaires. Filmmaker Michael Moore suggested, publicly, that they should all forfeit their government-funded healthcare while president until they ensure that all Americans have healthcare, but how much living like real people could these candidates take? Next thing you know, they will be expected to drive their own cars, fix their own meals, and live in a tiny 3,000 sq.ft. home.
In Local News
I’m doing the Recap early, so that I can sit in stop-and-go traffic for two hours from Orange County to Los Angeles to catch a flight back to Seattle to sign the final paperwork for the closing of our house. The bad news is that it will really take two hours for me to go 40 miles, the good news is that we get to stop squatting at the in-laws’ and move into our new place the middle of next week! Don’t get me wrong, the in-laws have been amazing and so accommodating, but if Grandma continues “rescuing” Rachael from Mommy’s discipline, then the little one is going to turn into one fierce spoiled brat, at which time I would theoretically send her to live with Grandma on a permanent basis, and neither of us wants that.
Worthless Entertainment News
An A-List party hosted by Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes along with Will and Jada Pinkett-Smith was thrown this week to welcome David and Victoria Beckham to Hollywood. Yeah, right. How soon after “How do you like the States?” did it take before all four of them started pushing that Scientology bullshit? My bet is on 7 minutes. This almost made me feel sorry for the Beckhams, because I’ve been to events that I thought were socials and turned out to be sales pitches.
Lindsay Lohan was busted; once again, for driving under the influence, only this time she also had a convictable amount of cocaine with her (which she has claimed wasn’t hers). All I’ve seen on TV following her arrest is how Hollywood and the general public should get on the bandwagon to “save” Lindsay. I have big issues with this. First off, we live in a country that basically doesn’t give a fuck about addiction. Insurance companies fight tooth and nail against providing benefits for alcohol and drug programs, and our own government passes laws that sound really good (i.e. Just Say No), but basically do little to address the issues and solutions surrounding addiction. Lindsay has been through very expensive, high quality rehab facilities, and is screwing up her life, but is still accepted with open arms, because she’s a celebrity. Sorry, Larry King, but before I work to “save” Lindsay, I’m going to put my energy into saving the millions of other troubled Americans who are turning to addiction to relieve the pain of living in the pop culture cesspool you and your ilk thrive in.
Asshole(s) of the Week
A good idea tends to spread, and my Asshole(s) of the Week has spread to The Huffington Post. However, the name of Paul Krassner appears in the byline, instead of yours truly. Coincidence? I’m suspecting not, since I’ve been doing Asshole(s) of the Week far longer than Mr. Krassner. At least the bright side is that along with lifting my cool title, he is also criticizing the same folks I would target. If Asshole(s) of the Week had appeared on some neocon blog, I would be pursuing legal action. Now onto the ORIGINAL Asshole(s) of the Week.
Roy Den Hollander – This attorney is on a crusade to ban “Ladies Night” from bars claiming that the popular bar promotion is unconstitutional because it gives women a reduced admission and better drink pricing than men. I guess Mr. Hollander hasn’t been out in awhile, because the other thing that Ladies Night does is encourages women to patronize a particular club, which brings in the guys. After all, what guy out on the town wants to hang out at a club that is all guys? Women in the U.S. are still paid only 76 cents on the dollar that every man is paid, and single women with children can expect to bring in only 54 cents for every dollar a man makes. Women also get charged more by dry cleaners, auto mechanics, insurance companies, and other businesses. On Ladies Night a gal can get a Cosmopolitan for $5.50 instead of $8.50, yet this is the issue Roy wastes his time pissing and moaning about? For attacking the one institution that still gives women a price break, and for being a cheap bastard in general, Roy Den Hollander, you are the Asshole of the Week.
1 comment:
Rumour has it the cyclists weren't doped up to enhance their performance, it was pain killers due to what those bloody hard saddles do to their delicate bits...
I don't reckon Posh and Becks will be welcomed into Scientology with open arms. I admit I like' em but they are very thick. Can't see 'em getting more recruits - which'd make 'em useful - more likely to frighten any new members away if you ask me....
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