Thought of the Day: Republican Debate Drinking Game

The Republican candidates for president are getting ready to square off on Wednesday night for a CNN/YouTube debate. Since we already know they are the party that has ruined America for the past six years and think they can win by not doing shit and scaring the hell out of everyone (especially old people), then the only thing we can do is make this debate fun and do a drinking game.

Here are the rules for the Republican Debate Drinking Game:

1. Everytime the word "terrorism" or "fear" is used you have to drink.
2. Everytime Rudy evokes the memory of 9/11, you have to drink.
3. Everytime John McCain tries to justify torture, you have to drink.
4. When they ask the 'yes or no' question about who believes in evolution, you have to drink for each candidate that says "no".
5. Everytime Mitt Romney skirts the Mormon issue, you have to drink.
6. Everytime Huckabee mentions abortion, you have to drink.
7. And anytime the words "illegal immigration" are used, you have to drink and make an attempt to stand and salute the flag.

Given the Republican Party rhetoric and the single-mindedness of the GOP spin doctors, I'll eat my hat if anyone is still sober after the first 30 minutes of this debate.

Thought of the Day: BJ Issues

Can't Ben & Jerry's make just one shitty tasting ice cream! How come every pint on the shelf has to be like eating frozen heaven? I'm convinced that Ben & Jerry's and my strong affection for it is the reason I don't have a Size 2 ass...well, that and the wrong mixture of genetics.

I have, what I call, my Ben & Jerry's moments. About the time that I'm sneaking into the kitchen like a cat burgler, eating the ice cream straight out of the container, and figuring out that if Jeff walks in, I can hide the spoon behind the frozen loaf of bread, I know I've reached a tipping point and it's time to diet again.

I had strep throat not too long ago, and out of kindness, my loving husband bought a pint of Coffee (my absolute favorite) and a pint of Chunky Monkey. Last night at 9:30 PM, despite my exhaustion, I was on my elliptical machine. I tell my daughter it is because I want to be healthy, but that's bullshit. I'm sweating my guts out, because of the Ben & Jerry's. To my credit, I didn't eat the whole pint, just 1/4 of it, which is still somewhere in the neighborhood of 220 calories, and don't get me started on the fat content. I'm hoping the rest will frost over and go bad really soon, or that my husband will sneak into the kitchen one night like a cat burgler and maybe, hide his spoon in a different place.

Thought of the Day: Happy Thanksgiving

My Take on the Latest Presidential Candidate Debate

Since CNN and all of the major media outlets are unrolling their "Hillary for President" banners, and giving the most half-assed, one-sided (and may I add, fucking pathetic) coverage to the latest CNN Democratic candidate debates, I've taken it upon myself to raise my mighty bullshit sword, and give you the straight up on what went down in Vegas last week. I watched the whole thing start to finish, and here's my take on it.

There was a bit of mud-slinging, but what do you expect from seven people all competing for the same job. This was supposed to be Hillary's comeback debate, and all the corporate media is calling her the winner, but from what I saw, she was the weakest one on the stage. The woman is acting like she is already the Democratic nominee, and is so scared of saying anything that would give the Republican Party fodder for negative ads that she is not saying anything at all. She is so damn vague on every issue that despite being physically upright, she had no stand, even on that fucking ridiculous 'diamonds or pearls' question. Note to CNN: Nobody wants to hear that shit! We are all on the verge of poverty or know someone who is, stop baiting the crowd with questions we could care less about!

Obama rocked as did Dennis Kucinich. Yes, I know he's a radical, and kind of funny looking, but at least he doesn't waffle on speaking his mind. He is also pro-worker, anti-big money, and didn't vote for the "Patriot" Act, which he pointed out at the debate. Richardson did quite well, too, and made a good point about the Republican wedge issue du jour (i.e. driver's licenses for illegals) being more a public safety issue than a 'come on in and take jobs from legal citizens' issue.

Biden usually has good, strong opinions and expressed them, but is still somewhat suspect, because he's too used to the game. Dodd is kind of dead in the water, and doesn't really say much worth taking notice of, and Edwards was a flat-out disappointment. Edwards was weak and didn't really stand out, but he did bring up the fact that this primary is about whether we want a corporate Democrat or a people's Democrat for the nominee, which I completely agree with.

This brings me back to Hillary. Since I was a little girl, I've dreamed of having a woman president, but this lady is not the one I was thinking of. She is getting a lot of attention, and being appointed the winner (even by Fox News), because she has taken an assload of money from media special interests including Rupert Murdoch. She's as corporate as they come and in Vegas came off arrogant. We've been lied to consistantly for six years, and I, personally, don't feel like being lied to anymore. Hillary may be the media's darling, but she doesn't give a rat's ass about representing the people (unless of course by the people, you mean the rich, corporate people).

Obama really shined in this debate, and took some positions that are traditionally unpopular like the need to raise taxes for individuals making over $97,000 per year in order to save the Social Security program. He was direct, specific, and extremely optimistic. All of his critics say he doesn't have enough "Washington" experience to be president, but that may be a good thing, because it means that his mind hasn't been infected with D.C. bullshit.

Richardson was also really specific on a lot of things, and quite direct on criticizing both the president and the Congress for lack of action. He comes at all the issues with more of a state's rights point of view, because he's a governor, which is refreshing. I'm not sure if I could see him being president at this point, but he is a very viable choice for second in command.

My personal favorite is Kucinich, because he says what we are all thinking, and doesn't give two fucks about appearing appropriate. I think deep down he knows he doesn't have a shot at the presidency, but he runs, because he cares about this country very much, and is gravely concerned about the fact that crimes are being committed in other countries using our name, and that regular Americans are suffering. I hope Dennis sticks it out until the end just to be a thorn in the ass to everyone else.

I haven't seen much about the Republicans debating, but there's really no point in watching it. In fact, if you want to watch a Republican debate just take a 10 second clip of each candidate taking about Islamofacisim, terrorism, and fear and run it on a constant loop until your brain explodes. Rudy and the rest of the boys say that as an American I'm supposed to be deathly afraid of some 20-year-old, uneducated guy from Pakistan who rides a mule from place to place and knows how to fire a Soviet issue machine gun leftover from the 1970s. Sorry, boys but I live in a country where the 14 year old down hanging out in Compton is better armed than these so-called terrorists, and my tax dollars have funded enough nuclear bombs to destroy the earth ten times over. I was disturbed and pissed off by 9/11, but I was never afraid, and now, like the rest of America who is trying to figure out how to make ends meet, I'm just pissed off. So Rudy, enough of your fucking 9/11 bullshit speeches, they are boring, and this country isn't made of yellow bellied cowards who are scared of their own shadows. We are Americans, and as many of your (hopefully former) constituents pointed out, "these colors don't run".

Thought of the Day: A Dubious Honor?!?

So Jeff and I are sitting at the table having dinner, because it always happens during dinner, when from the bathroom Rachael yells in her 3-year-old voice, "I'm done going poopy, who's going to wipe my tushie!"

My spouse and I sit there in a dead-silent staredown. This deed has to be done, because I would hate to see how many bottles of laundry soap we would go through if we let her do the job herself. She's not that good at it, and the result is more disgusting than the task at hand. She yells again, "Who wants to wipe my tushie!" Then the negotiations begin. "I've been with her all weekend," he says playing to my guilt. "Yes," I interject, "but I've already wiped her once today." (Still a good mom despite having to go out of town for an overnight work event) For the third time, a little more irate, "Is somebody going to come wipe my tushie! Mommy! Daddy! Come wipe my tushie!"

She's too young to realize that finishing her off in the bathroom is neither a pleasant experience, nor is it an honor, but she thinks it is. I finally cave and show up ready to do the dirty work, and she grins from ear-to-ear. "You get to wipe my tushie, Mommy." Lucky me. Funny, they never mention this shit in those glossy parenting magazines.

Thought of the Day: Firsts

First times are usually cool like the first time you get kissed or the first time you fly or the first time you hear your favorite band or the first time you eat one of those awesome holiday chocolate truffles from Trader Joe's. I had a first this week, but it sucked. I got strep throat for the first time.

It put me flat on my ass for 2 1/2 days at the beginning of a very busy week, which always makes me feel behind the eight ball. Instead of allowing myself to heal properly I end up rushing to get well, and the sickness just lingers. Oh well, little kids are disease boxes and I live with one, so illness comes with the territory.

I did have some awesome hallucinations while on hardcore medications, although one was particularly freaky. I was the sickest right before my mom's yartzeit (Jewish traditional commemoration of the anniversary of a close family member's death), and I was having an in-depth conversation with her about the usual such as why she lied to me most of my life, and all the other screwed up things she did during my childhood.

This was unhealthier than the strep itself, because I was light-headed, nauseated, my throat was aching, and on top of all of that, I was pissed. Thankfully, I'm feeling much better, and the memory of my hallucination conversation has mostly disappeared, but this is one first I won't remember fondly.

Thought of the Day: Return to Natural Progression

There used to be a system in place for attaining goals in life. I learned this system when I was growing up, and it was simple: you started out young and broke, then you got a job, and slowly started building your lifestyle up to the level that you desired. I followed this process when I started out.

I lived in an apartment, had many shitty paying jobs, then once I was done doing the majority of my partying and decided it was time to be a responsible adult, I got a better job and bought my first house in Idaho. Sure, I lost it in my divorce, but then I just knuckled down and within three years got married and purchased a starter home. The home was small, and we did all the upgrades ourselves including spending nine grueling days tiling our kitchen counter tops. All the hard work paid off, because we were able to afford a turnkey house a few years later.

Right now our country is in a sad trend. People are losing their homes, jobs are hard to come by, and the Fed is printing money like crazy due to rising inflation. A lot of this budding crisis is due to mismanagement by the corporations that control this country and a government that feeds from that corporate trough. However, they aren't completely to blame. Most of the houses coming into foreclosure are owned by people who, 15 years ago, would have never had a chance in hell at getting the kind of loans they have. Young people in their early 20s who didn't want to pay their dues in a starter home went out and bought these upscale 3,000+ square feet houses on these criminal 5-1 arm loans. Now they are faced with a shitload of debt, and have to turn their opulent houses over to the bank, or sell them at a loss just to get out from under the loan.

Perhaps this crisis needs to serve as a turning point for the "keeping up with the Jonses" attitude that has defined our culture since the 1980s. If you want a certain lifestyle, that's okay; but when you expect a certain lifestyle without being willing to do what it takes to achieve it, then you are lazy and spoiled.

I often joke and grump about living in the 'burbs, but I've earned it. I was the kid who came from nothing, and by all sociological calculations should have wound up on the losing end of the deal, but I didn't. I put myself through school, worked a job from the time I was 16 years old, and never expected anything from anyone. It has served me well in life, and I think about now, many people in our country could benefit from that same attitude.

I'm not completely myopic and I realize there are exceptions to the foreclosure situation. A lot of folks were sold a bill of goods by greedy mortgage brokers and unscrupulous real estate agents, when all they wanted to do was own a piece of the American dream. This message is not for them. My words are aimed at those folks who expect the big home without doing time in the starter house. Greed is good when it inspires you to work hard to achieve your goals, not when it makes you live in hock just to prove to the bitch in your social club that your designer handbag is just as good as hers.

Thought of the Day: Halloween Candy Detox

For the love of G-d would someone please destroy the Tootsie Roll factory! I have been pill-popping those damn things for nearly a week. Fortunately, I've managed to cleanse both of the candy dishes at work and my daughter's trick-or-treat pumpkin of all things Tootsie Roll, so I may have a chance of making it to the end of November without looking like a Tootsie Roll.

I'm usually pretty good about not eating junk, especially the kind that has high fructose corn syrup in it, but there is something about those damn Halloween Tootsie Rolls that makes the gloves come off. I'm glad Halloween is once a year, because normally, I wouldn't even think of actually purchasing a Tootsie Roll.

I have a notorious sweet tooth, so now that all of the Tootsie Rolls are gone I'll be able to keep it in check again. I don't do the cookies or yummy cakes or muffins at the office, and I have low sugar snacks at home, so sweets are rarely a problem, except during this time of the year. Thankfully, I've been working out to keep the calories under control, and now that all of the candy I like has been consumed I can go back to a somewhat healthy lifestyle (at least until Hanukkah that is - fucking delicious chocolate gold coins).

Thought of the Day: Out-of-Town Work

I just got back from a 3 1/2 day event in Ojai, California. Ojai is, what they commonly refer to as, a 'one horse town' (i.e. boring as fuck). There was nothing to do other than the event, and on the second day during my 12th straight hour of work I smirked at the girlhood notion I had about going out of town on business being a glamorous thing.

I used to dream about flying off to do important work for my company, but that was because I grew up in a town very similar to Ojai, only with slightly more drugs, crime and teen pregnancy. Idaho, I still hate you. I enjoy my job, my co-workers rock, and I have the priviledge of working for a man who I think is somewhat of a genius despite his tendency to be a bit demanding. However, I would be lying if I failed to admit that from time to time I longed for the slow pace of my former job at The Facility.

Perhaps with more time on my hands I would do more writing, workout more, and become way more politically active, but most likely, I would think about doing all of those things, but just end up complaining about how boring my job is. Truth be told, I love being able to build my new department from scratch, and being in the thick of a chaotic event. It's fun, and at the end of the day, you feel like you accomplished something, but again, I'd be lying like a presidential candidate if I didn't admit that sometimes boring can be a bit relaxing.

Thankfully, we don't have anymore plans to do events in Ojai, because now that I've been there, I have no reason to go back ever again.