Things that Were Way More Fun When I Was Younger

I’m not one of those uptight broads who spends all her time complaining about getting older. I learned at 19 that age is more about attitude rather than a calculation of the number of years you’ve spent in this world. However, I’ve noticed there are some things I used to do that were way more fun then than they seem to be now.

Hair dying. It was a great form of self-expression, and it took me all of one semester of college before I got into this little habit. It was the golden age of the riotgrrl movement, and the dark brown hair I had just wouldn’t do; I needed blonde streaks. The cool thing was that with blonde streaks, I could buy shampoo that would leave color in my hair through several washes, so one month I’d be brown with blue, another month I’d be brown with pink, and for October, I did brown with green.

I spent one of this year’s first sunny Saturdays in the salon this past weekend trying to get my color back to dark brown, because about two months ago I got a wild hair up my ass and decided to streak my hair like in the old days. Ten years ago, the blonde streaks looked cool. Two months ago, they looked brassy and cheap. My husband summed it up best that night when he looked at me and said “that’s what my mom did to her hair when she started going gray.” For the next two days, “gray” seemed to accompany every hair comment I got, whether it was a friend asking me “did you find a gray hair and go nuts or something” or my co-worker telling me that I should have skipped the Cruella De Vil thing on the front of my hair.

Unfortunately, the woman at the salon on Saturday didn’t speak such good English, so I came out with a light brown instead of a dark brown, which means another round of hair dying two months from now when my head has recovered. Then I’m done. I’m swearing off hair dying until that G-d forsaken day that I find a shitload of gray in my hair, which knowing my luck will happen by the end of the year.

Something else that used to be a blast was staying up all night. I remember spending a weekend at my friend Kori’s house. We watched the Headbanger’s Ball on Saturday night hoping to see Guns ‘N’ Roses, then on Sunday we pulled another red-eye and watched 120 Minutes praying that they would play Husker Du. To top it off, we styled our hair on Sunday night and it turned out so well that we came up with the brilliant idea of staying up all night and going to school the next morning with really great looking hair. This is why 16-year-olds should never be allowed to make any kind of important decision!

We made to about 4:00 am, and then slept in chemistry class the next day. Now when I think about 4:00 am it’s usually, because the toddler had a nightmare and wants me to rock her or she needs a refill on her bottle. Occasionally, I’ll have a bad bought of insomnia that will have me cursing the fact that I am wide awake when I should be sleeping sounder than my child.

Driving used to be a cool thing to do, until I had to start commuting regularly. I used to like it when I would get a phone call from a guy, but now that the guy happens to be my husband, who calls me to talk about things like taking the garbage out or asks me what I’m cooking for dinner the shine has fallen off that diamond for damn sure. Working used to be a blast, even though it was a small time, shitty fast food job, because I was there with my peers and the early 20-somethings were the only ones who had any responsibility. Now that I’m the one in charge, and my work provides the household healthcare and mortgage payment, it just doesn’t seem so fun.

There are a few things that are just as enjoyable now as they were back then, like finding new and creative music to listen to, which is no small task given the media buyouts and diva making that the corporate whores force on us every time we turn on a radio or television set. Sex is still great even though work schedules and the kid have greatly reduced the frequency. At least when those few passionate moments each month do roll around, they tend to be worthwhile. Drinking is still enjoyable from time to time, especially since I’m able to afford better tasting alcohol. The days of Budweiser and cheap vodka ended at that last raging frat party I went to, and now I’m thoroughly enjoying the era of Captain & Cola.

Thankfully, some of the stuff that used to be fun to do has been replaced by things that I now find way more satisfying. I can’t talk on the phone with my friends for hours, but I can email jokes at work. Making $20 babysitting for the evening is far less fun than spending $20 taking my munchkin to the Family Fun Center and watching her ride the carousel.

Oddly enough I still worry about getting caught while having sex, but instead of repercussions that involve getting grounded or being sent away to an all-girls school, I have the fear that my daughter will end up walking in on us and relaying the story to everyone during a family get together. Then again, unleashing family trauma at a holiday gathering is something timeless that is just as fun now as it used to be, and will, most likely, continue to be fun for years to come.