Lately, there seems to be a lot of annoying crap out there, not the usual, run-of-the-mill annoying crap, but a new crop of crap. There is the usual bout of standard annoying shit such as pop music, infotainment media that attempts to pass itself off as legitimate and anything that claims to be helpful, but is just a big ploy to get you to buy something. I'm looking at you Dr. Phil! However, beyond the usual, I've made a few keen observations regarding the latest batch of annoyance.
David Blaine is extremely annoying, because he’s not a magician. A magician is someone who can do something cool and make you go "Wow" or leave you completely fascinated. Harry Houdini was a magician. David Copperfield is a magician. Even that over the edge, seems-like-he's-on-drugs comic, the Amazing Jonathan, is a magician. There is nothing magic about starving yourself while hanging out in a see-through box and foregoing showers for a few weeks. Models put hunger and emaciation on display all the time, and they don't carry around business cards that say "Magician". David, Sweetie, if you want to call yourself a magician then make something disappear or escape from a straight-jacket, but no more pissing in a cup for public display. A magician is supposed to make you go "oooohhh" not "eeewww".
Brittney Spears' Second Pregnancy. She's an easy target, and I'm lazy, so it's a good fit. This bitch has completely failed at the half-assed attempt to parent her first kid, so why is she having another one? Because she can. In any other situation, like if the parents were poor, or the mom was single and working constantly to keep the family afloat, and there were disasters such as the kid cracking its head open from a falling highchair, DSHS would be all over it. Brittney drives with her kid in her lap and doesn't even get ticketed. I'm no brilliant mommy, nor do I claim to be, but even in my complete inexperience I knew carseats were mandatory. Double standards drive me completely crazy, and in this particular situation expose a really annoying flaw in our society.
Iranian Outreach Letters. The insane son of a bitch that holds the presidency of Iran has been shooting his mouth off about wanting to blow Israel off the face of the Earth, encouraging Al Qaeda to annihilate the U.S., and telling women in his country that it will be a cold day in hell before they get anything that remotely resembles rights, now he pens a "let's be friends" letter and thinks everything is cool. I’m no foreign policy expert, but I know a crazy fuck when I see one, and linen-lined stationary aside, I wouldn’t trust this guy as far as I could kick him.
Failure of the Palestinian Government. When the Palestinian people elected a terrorist organization and got the Gaza Strip back, I knew it was going to be one hell of train wreck. Had they got the Strip back and elected a reasonable group of people, they would have had half a chance, but why choose prosperity when you can fuck your world up by electing hate incarnate. Now they are diving into poverty at record speed, the government is inept, they got one lone guy trying to make it all work, and who do they choose to blame…Israel and the West. How fucking annoying! Take some personal responsibility for once in your pathetic lives. If you have money, and you spend all that money to buy guns and explosives to attack Israel, and you leave nothing to pay for an infrastructure, then don’t bitch when there’s no running water.
Tom Cruise Mania. We all know he’s a bit of a kook, which makes him a little annoying, but I’m so sick of people trying to make him into more than he is. He is an actor that has had a pretty good career, made some decent movies, made some tremendous stinkers, might be gay, might be bi, but is very much a Scientologist. He knocked his young girlfriend up and they had a kid, now he’s out promoting yet another sequel, but that’s it. Aside from the good films, he’s really not worth mentioning, so why is it that I have to see his fucking face every time I turn around. He’s cute, but cute wears off after passing by two magazine covers. Enough Tom Cruise already!
I’m pretty sure I’ve covered everything for now. I could go off on an anti-Bush tangent, but I’ll let the opposing party do that around election time this fall. Hopefully, they actually will, and the fact that I have to hope that they will, is the most annoying thing I can think of at the moment.
5 comments:
I love a good rant. I wonder what we would rant about if we had things our way?
No doubt we would find something to focus our rage on.
'Why is everything so nice? What a crock of shit that is.' hmm.
I can live with odd bods like Blaine n Britney but that character in Iran is very worrying. He doesn't get it. We don't want Iran goin' nuclear 'cause they have a nutter in charge. We've got Bush n Blair....oh shit...that doesn't sound quite right...S'pose the worry is Iran n other countries of that ilk just might 'do it' n then we're all gone...
For some reason just reading your rant made me feel better. You rock!
You can find me on bettingonthemuse.blogspot now.
David Blaine does do stupid stunts, yes, but he is absolutely a magician. He's a master of close-up magic and got his start doing amazing tricks on the street. Check out his DVD, I think it's called "fearless."
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