House Cleaning (and Senate, too)!

Millions take to the streets marching for rights, everyone who drives a car is feeling a harsh pinch as gas prices go through the roof, and April was the bloodiest month in Iraq thus far. Thankfully, our trusted elected leaders are hard at work on our behalf in Washington D.C. They put their collective minds together, and faced with all of these mounting problems managed to introduce a resolution to make the English version of the National Anthem the official version, while deciding to give all American families a shitty little $100 tax credit to help with the cost of gas. Is it any wonder why mild-mannered punks like me hate the government?

The world seems to be crashing down and all these mental eunuchs in D.C. offer is a ridiculous, half-assed, somewhat racist attempt to rally American citizens around a baseless cause hoping to spark the asinine patriotism that got Resident Bush elected. Did the Senate convene to try to work towards a solution to this hot-button immigration issue? Did the House meet to try to pressure the Justice Department into beginning a REAL investigation into price gouging by the oil companies? Did the Pentagon get their shit together and consider a military coup? No! The only thing that our so-called leaders did this week was come up with some scapegoat National Anthem bullshit, while avoiding the 800 lb. gorilla in the room.

These assholes make six figures a year, get health benefits that your average Joe or Jane could only dream of, and regardless of how long they serve, get a pension for life. They owe us a decent amount of good work, but instead have given us hundreds (sometimes thousands) of days of garbage. Fortunately, I have a few good ideas that would reduce the number of corporate whores and absolute fuck-ups elected to office.

First of all, we need term limits; not just state-to-state, but nationally. I’m somewhat optimistic in my belief that most of the people who run for office for the first time go to D.C. wanting to make a change. I’m even willing to bet that the first time they are re-elected, they still have that hunger to do good, but by the time they’ve been around the bend the third time, they’ve become too engrained in the pissing contest. The lobbyists have moved in with the money, and the do-good politico becomes obsessed with their own power. The biggest argument I’ve heard against term limits is that nothing will ever get done. Well, nothing’s getting done right now, unless you consider having to sing the National Anthem in English or a puny, lame-assed tax credit, a step towards progress. If someone knew they only had a few years to get changes made, then maybe they’d get off their asses and do the job they were elected to do rather than sit there for years sucking off the corporate tit.

Second, cut those fucking bennies. No one should get a pension for life for two to four years worth of work. The benefits elected officials receive are so sweet, that I might actually consider running for office, and I hate the government! If spending two terms as a public servant was less financially rewarding then maybe there would an infusion of honor back into the idea of serving the public. Wouldn’t it be great if we could think of government officials with the same affection we have for good teachers, instead of realizing that they are all a big group of crooks who are interested in cashing in.

Third, no more corporate cash. I don’t like to think about any hard working person jobless, but I could make an exception for lobbyists. Not only should they be unemployed, they should get a good kick in the ass as they leave the lairs of their dirtbag, corporate employers.

Politicians and punks are natural enemies, mainly because politicians refuse to come down to the level of the working person. They might be there when they go to D.C., but the moment they make that mental leap where they believe they are above playing by the same rules that apply to everyone else, then they are like rotten fruit, and need to be put in the dumpster. As long as I nearly have to mortgage my house to pay for gas, while watching low-income kids fresh out of high school give their lives for an illegal war for oil, then someone in D.C. has some explaining to do.

Enough with the fake, bullshit rallying cries like this National Anthem business, or the measly $100, or anything else that’s spewed out of the ass of the neo-con Right the past six years, let’s look at what needs to be done, and get people into positions where they can do it. We may only have two parties (two very shitty parties), but right now we need a few good men, and a lot of good women to get this country back on track, and if we’re lucky some of them might even be a little punk.