The biggest thing to hit the news in the world of Kidome yesterday was that the way-too-perky Melanie Martinez from the PBS Sprout channel's Good Night Show was fired for some video that she did prior to her kid show gig.
When I heard this I couldn't wait to see the webstream figuring that she was fired for some really raunchy, sex-ridden, possibly anal related piece of trash worthy of praise by Larry Flynt, the kind of video that would scare the crap out of the conservative, family values types. What I found was our cheerful Melanie doing mock public service announcements suggesting tongue-in-cheek (couldn't resist the pun) ways for girls to keep their virginity.
She remarks in one of the videos that anal sex is a great way to keep your virginity, and “sure it might hurt a bit and your may walk funny the next day,” but you will still be a virgin. She delivers the ridiculous and hilarious message with her signature Melanie blend of smiley face and sunshine, while words scroll beneath her advocating anal. Like I said, it was really funny.
In the video, Melanie was fully clothed, didn't really use fowl language, and was, of course, way too friggin' happy, but that was it. She was filmed on, what looked like a school campus, but it was all outdoors, with no sleazy dorm room girl-on-girl action going on. It was the most uneventful, slightly disappointing thing I had seen in some time. I was in the mood for pure smut, and instead got some indie film, internet gag that you would email a friend or co-worker if their workplace firewall wasn’t too strong.
On one hand, I can understand PBS's need to uphold a standard of decency, but it's not like Melanie was trying to be the new Jenna Jameson. I've seen more obscene and disgusting things on Comedy Central and network television, but the difference is that now I will have to explain to my toddler why her "Mewny" isn't there to sing the "Good Night Song" to her. In fact, I'm pissed at the moron Sprout execs, because I used the "Good Night Song" as part of our bedtime routine.
Every company's dream is to work their product or program into the emotions and lives of viewers, and I complied this once, because it made getting the kid to bed a lot easier. Now those bastards pull the rug out from under me! I guess this proves, once again, that you can't trust corporations, especially ones that make stupid decisions.
Rachael liked it when Melanie did the “Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes” song, and loved it when she did the cheap and messy crafts. My toddler thought it was the funniest thing in the world when I told her that my name was Melanie, too. She looked at me, then looked at the Sprout Melanie, and when she put it together mentally, laughed and grabbed my boobs, which was very strange, but made my husband keel over with laughter. Rachael loved watching Melanie sing to her fish, so much so that we bought Rachael her own fish, but now this is all history, because of one tasteless gag internet video. C’mon Sprout execs, is it really worth the trouble?
After all, who knew it wouldn’t be a matter of time before some sort of skeleton came out of Melanie's past, because you can't be that wholesome and annoyingly perky without a bag of bones lying around somewhere. I hadn't quite anticipated the mediocrity of Melanie’s action, nor could have imagined the over-reaction on the part of PBS, but now I have to come up with an explanation for my toddler, and that really pisses me off.
If I had to send one message to Melanie, it would be to hang in there. The firestorm of this controversy will lead to an all-time high in your popularity, which means you're bound to get another gig very soon. If the other kids' stations won't touch you then you'll be perfect for a new show on the Fox Network. The only request I have, Dear Melanie, is that you lay off a little on the perkiness, or next time you appear on the news it will be because your "ray of sunshine" attitude has finally sent some poor parent off the deep end, and they will have just found your body in a ravine. Seriously, Sweetie, take some Valium or something.
6 comments:
I read this somewhere else this morninng and I too am shocked and disappointed they took action over something so NOT offensive. They already had her spots gone tonight! My 2-year-old loved watching her before bedtime... It's really too bad how hyper-sensitive our culture has become.
p.s. I browsed over here while blog hopping, it's good reading! I'll be back. :)
Are they going to recast Gilbert Gottfried's character on Cyberchase, too? He's got a highly distinguishable voice and is in the (awesome)filthy joke movie The Aristocrats.
Our biggest kids show, Blue Peter, has been running almost as long as me. Squeaky clean at all times. One presenter, Richard Bacon, was caught snorting coke n sacked. All mention of him in any replay Blue Peter holiday specials was erased. It was like he'd become an imaginary figure. He's now a very successful radio DJ - and very funny n all. Best thing that ever happened to him.
For as much as Melanie got on my nerves, with her Stepford perkiness (The husband and I would even joke that as perky as she is, she probably has a secret porno under her belt -- little did we know, we weren't so far off the mark!), it pisses me off how PBS can be so presumptuous as to think it knows what would or would not offend me.
So she made a PSA spoof, it's not like she was doing anything indecent -- she was doing her job. She was upfront with Sprout and informed them of the video when it was posted, a video she made 7 years ago.
Meanwhile, it was perfectly O.K. when Steve from Blue's Clues played a strung out junkie on Law & Order. This is really about what a man can do and what a woman can't -- or shouldn't -- do.
What made me sad was that Melanie is the mother of a toddler. How is she going to explain this firing to her kid?
Post modern ironic hero in waiting I think
*sighs* I'm sure PBS made the right decision. I mean, I know that SO many children under the age of ten really know what anal sex is, and would be traumatized if they saw a friendly face from PBS Kids talking about it in a mundane PSA. Whew, I'm sure glad PBS got rid of the skank quickly...ugh, there's a plethora of things wrong with Melanie being fired on the basis of that PSA. I'll only name one though: She was PROMOTING virginity!!! If anything, that should sate those family value right-wing bozos. Doesn't that appeal to their "abstinence only" agenda?
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