It's the Little Things That Are So Annoying - Part II

I thought I got everything off my chest with a previous post, but I found a few more things that irk me. One-on-one these annoyances are no big deal, but paired with stress, traffic, and a clueless boss and they make life downright challenging. Perhaps the feeling is mutual, or maybe I just need a drink.

Glitter – My friend got Rachael a princess chest from Costco for her 3rd birthday. It contained three adorable dress-up outfits complete with accessories. The only problem was the costumes were decorated with glitter. A week ago, my little dog got angry that we weren’t spending enough time with him, and took a piss in Rachael’s playroom. He targeted a couple of princess dresses lying on the floor, because Rachael had tried to dress him in them a few hours earlier. I put them in the wash, and now there is glitter everywhere. My floors are sparkling, not because I’m a great housekeeper, I’m not. Nope, it’s the glitter. This stuff never goes away. I’m now convinced that when World War III finally happens, all that will be left after the nuclear holocaust will be cockroaches dressed in glitter-covered princess outfits.

Bluetooth Phones – It used to be easy to spot crazy people. They were the ones sitting in the room talking to themselves. I thought I encountered an honest to goodness crazy person about a year ago until I saw the weird Borg-like thing hanging off his ear. He wasn’t crazy; he was just conversing on his Bluetooth. I think these things look really stupid, you aren’t part of the Secret Service, you are just a janitor talking to your friend about your Fantasy Football team, so get over it. I also wonder how safe it is to have a phone hooked to your head 16 hours per day. Sure they keep denying that cell phones cause brain tumors, but these are the same assholes that haven’t come clean about global warming, so they’re not exactly trustworthy folk.

Idiot National Security Agencies – Unless you’ve been living in a cave for the past week, or (*gasp*) aren’t a fan of Adult Swim on Cartoon Network, then you’ve heard about the arrest of two marketing reps who put Lite Brites all over Boston to promote the upcoming season premier of Aqua Teen Hunger Force; a cartoon that features a talking wad of meat, an uptight box of French fries, and a cynical milkshake. Authorities in Boston thought the Lite Brites were bombs, despite clearly looking like Lite Brites, and closed down half the city. I watched this report thinking that citizens of America are completely fucked. If this is the state of our national security, then thank
G-d for that amendment that lets us own our own guns, because if terrorists ever take over, we cannot rely on this group of morons to protect us.

Lack of Any and All Free Time – This is the time of year when I can’t even complete a thought of my own. I’m a Special Events Manager for a non-profit organization, and I am exactly five weeks away from my big event. In one night, I will raise $300,000. I’m not having one of those Tom Cruise circa Risky Business style prostitution parties, or doing a huge cocaine soiree; that would be too much fun. I’m just getting 400 people into a room and freely pouring enough wine, so that they end up paying exorbitant amounts of money for items they don’t want, but it’s for a good cause, so no harm, no foul, right. The unfortunate end of this dream situation is that it takes a hell of a lot of detail management to pull off a $300,000 evening, so for the next five weeks I’ll be foregoing the Weekly Recap, regular posts, time with my family, moments of sanity, sleep, daylight, and any conversation that doesn’t revolve around the event. Fortunately, this will all be over at midnight on March 10th, so until then, I may or may not be in touch. Wish me luck, be well, and many wishes of strength to Camie for the arrival of her new little Miss.