On a regular basis, I don't do much thinking about underwear or going to the bathroom, but lately our house is filled with spirited talk about toilets and unmentionables. My little Rachael has begun the daunting toddler challenge known as potty training, and in order to encourage her success, Jeff and I have chosen panties and stickers as rewards for her potty accomplishments.
The deal is simple: when Rachael does a successful potty, she receives stickers. If she has a good week, she gets a new package of underwear. So far, my little Miss has managed to rack up quite a collection of undies including Blue’s Clues, Dora the Explorer, Elmo, and Barbie. The hard part comes each day when we get home, and she has to choose just one pair. I have to fan the panties out on display as if she’s a millionaire businessman picking out a diamond bracelet for his trophy wife. After several minutes of her scanning back and forth talking about each panty character, I have to assert myself and try to pick the pair she will run around in for the rest of the evening.
To Rachael, panties are an outfit all to themselves. I tried to show her that panties can be worn under pants or a skirt, but she’s not having any of that. After all, you can’t see Boots the Monkey smiling up at you if you have something covering him, so many a night we sit down to dinner with a toddler sporting just her tiny skivvies and a pair of socks. Who says life isn’t interesting!
The unfortunate thing about this whole potty training experience is that Jeff and I have definitely figured out that Rachael is going to be smarter than we are. She loves the stickers, and spent one night running into the bathroom and sitting on the toilet in two minute intervals thinking that for merely copping a dry squat she would be rewarded. When she realized that stickers only came with a production worthy of a flush, she changed her game. The next night, she would venture into the bathroom and complete her fake potty by flushing the toilet. This presented a conundrum, because we assumed she went the first time and gave her the stickers. The second time she did this (just 15 minutes after the initial success); we called her on it telling her that she didn’t really go potty. She was way ahead of us, anticipating the response, and with a coy look smiled and said, “Mommy, I flush it.” It really sucks when they learn to think for themselves, and you have to struggle with how to introduce logic to a two-year-old.
We ended up giving her the stickers, and most likely, really good confidence that if she just comes up with a successful argument she can get what she wants. The dozen toilet flushes that followed bared no reward, and the next night, thankfully we were right on track.
The challenge with potty training is to try to encourage them to move along without pressuring them. I’ve been warned by toilet-weary parents that if you pressure, then the child will turn on you, and resist the potty, so we are taking a laid back approach armed with our stickers and mini-packs of kiddie undies. I try to be casual about the whole experience, but I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I am looking forward to the day when I don’t have to clean anymore five alarm poopies.
The other nice part about this method of potty-sticker-panty rewards is that Rachael has learned the value of being rewarded for successful achievement without having it turn into some extreme method of spoiling. Stickers are simple, and the panties only come at the end of a cumulative success. We will be able to use this as she gets older with a nice toy or family dinner when she completes a school semester or aces the ridiculous state-required exams.
Best of all, she completely understands the process, and has used it at home rewarding the dog with his biscuits for going poopies outside, and giving me stickers just the other day when I rushed into the house and straight to the bathroom. Heavy traffic, warm weather, and the 32 oz. bottled water warrant a hasty sprint to the john. I passed by Rachael letting her know I was home and that I had to go potty really, really bad. She acknowledged me, and minutes later as I emerged to wash my hands, she was standing there with two stickers and a pair of my panties. Sometimes parenthood is downright scary.
11 comments:
Stickers are great. Only keep them going for a short while however. Its a great feeling tho isnt it? No more diapers!!
That is just too wonderful that she's rewarding your with her stickers too. What a nice gesture. My little neice (much to my amusement and her mommy's exasperation) is fine with the peeing in the toilet, but she'd much rather deficate on the floor and then smear it on her toys before anyone can move fast enough to catch her. She's my own little GG Allin, but with more teeth and less violence.
I hate it when they get smarter than us! We used stickers and fruit snacks (you know, one for pee, five for poop)....eventually you have to get to the point where they consider themselves a "potty pro." For us, THAT's when she got the panties....is there a big item that you could use instead for motivation?
I loved using stickers with my kindergarten/grade ones. It was SO EASY! And SO CHEAP! That and temporary tattoos. I've stocked up for September with packs of cheap fuzzy, sparkly, shiny, bendy and/or leopard spotted pencils which I discovered at my local dollar store.
Also, the stickers and panties that she wanted to give you? That is freaking adorable.
Jeze - I can empathize with your sister on the poop thing. Just last night my Rachael was wearing her panties and did a big number 2 right in them. Then proceeded to "fix it" by emptying the contents of the panties out on the kitchen floor. I just let out a big sigh, cleaned both the floor and the girl, and decided to put the panties on hold in favor of pull-ups for the time being.
My husband came in the house complaining about being caught in traffic, but upon hearing about the toilet mishaps suddenly changed his tune. Maybe someday she will do gross things on his watch for a change.
I remember when I was potty training the little girl I nanny for I mopped up more piss than a nurse in a rest home full of incontinent seniors. The day finally came though when the sweet little gumdrop proudly wore her Elmo and Dora underwear realizing it would be a travesty to soil the skivies and opted to use the potty instead.
Stickers and underwear didn't work in our house. So, we turned to candy (shame,shame). One piece for pee, two for poop...still he resisted. He announced that he would use the potty starting the first day of pre-school, which was over a month away (at the time). He stuck to his, ah, plan despite my pleading with him to at least "practice" with the potty. Sure enough, he wore his last pull up on his first day of school. He was dry when I picked him up. Once home, he pissed like a race horse. He then grabbed a pair of tighty whiteys and never looked back. An added bonus, he insisted on wearing underwear to bed (oh no, I thought). Little guy has never peed the bed and its been almost a year.
2 stickers? Well done! You'll be an expert soon. Jax once said to me "Where you take potty?" n I said to empty it. She said "I do" and did. All over one of the cats.
I had to giggle because I've been through all this with both of my girls. And they still have the pretty panty obsession. It took me so much to break my youngest of hiking up her skirt to show everyone her latest, greatest panties. (oh well it'll make for some great embarassing stories when she's older)
Bribing and rewarding never worked for either of my hard headed little ladies, but luckily (for me) they both just decided that it was eaiser to use the potty than have wet pants.
Good luck!
I'm happy to have happened upon your blog. What wonderful writing!
My son was completely stubborn about potty training. I felt sure that he would end up going to kindergarten (or possibly college) in diapers. Nothing I did worked. One day we were out shopping and he saw a musical potty and swore if we bought it he would potty train. Guess what? The kid potty trained himself after I bought it. Good luck!
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