You Want Me to do What!?!

In the spirit of never being content, I’ve been job hunting. I had one positive interview for a position that I am very qualified for, and all seemed to go well. I gelled with the young gal who served as the human resources screener, and at the end of the interview she told me she would be sending me a couple of tests to complete via email.

I didn’t mind the first test; it was a personality test with a lot of situational and bizarre questions. When it comes to personality tests, I don’t try to think about them too hard, and always answer honestly. Frankly, if I have a personality that conflicts with the rest of the office, the sooner it’s discovered, the better, no matter how much I want the job.

It was the second test I had a problem with. I know the little HR screener was just doing her job, but asking me to take a basic skills computer assessment is a bit offensive. At the bottom of my resume I list quite an impressive array of computer programs I have experience with. One should immediately deduce that if I stand up and say I’m proficient at In Design, Illustrator, and specialized auction software, maybe, just maybe, I have the mandatory brain cell capacity to master the Microsoft Outlook calendar or sorting a list on an Excel spreadsheet.

The problems persisted when I couldn’t open the test. Apparently the online company that administers the test has to have a receiving computer with a very weak firewall that allows a shitload of cookies and pop-ups. Since we get a tremendous amount of junk mail, as well as virus-infected mail from Jeff’s brother (which he claims it’s not him…yeah right), Jeff installed two firewalls and every other anti-virus software on the market. The end result was that I couldn’t log onto the site and take the basic computer assessment.

I tried again today from one of Jeff’s office computers, and still couldn’t get access, and now (how spoiled is this), I don’t even care about the job anymore. I understand that the HR assistant has to have her little boxes of “to do” items checked for each qualified candidate, but I’m to a point in my life where I don’t feel like dealing with one ounce of bureaucratic bullshit.

I was up until 5:00 AM on Friday night designing display boards for an auction. Does any HR assistant have that on their fucking checklist! How can a basic computer skills assessment tell anyone that I’ve worked on nine auctions and have raised a collective $5.5 million? Instead of wasting my time asking me to show you how well I can use the Bold function in Word, why don’t you ask me how I manage to coordinate a team of volunteers after working a 100-hour week, and pull off a splendid party for 400 people that raises money.

Perhaps I have a bad attitude, but due to this detail gone wrong, I’m no longer even interested in the job. I am currently with an organization that is so steeped in bureaucracy that it gives their employees the shaft on a regular basis. Do I really want to work for another “by the book” employer? Maybe I’ve become spoiled by the cool organizations that I’ve worked for that were wonderfully non-conformist and didn’t care what you did, how you did it, or when you did your job, as long as you met your goals and performed.

To be fair, I emailed the little HR gal back, and maybe I’ll hear from her. If I don’t, then I’ll accept it as something that wasn’t meant to be. Besides, I have another job interview next Monday for a position that would be way cooler, and hopefully, they won’t ask me to take a lame-assed basic computer skills assessment.