She's cute, but sometimes a look like that gets me a little worried. If I'm hanging out downstairs, and she has that look, then it gets really quiet, I trudge up the stairs wondering if I'll find a reverse mohawk on the dog or a lovely new artwork gracing my wall. She usually never disappoints, and gives me a fresh, new definition of "what's the worst she could be doing?". Parenthood is a lot of things, but one thing it never is is boring.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Wonder What She's Thinking
She's cute, but sometimes a look like that gets me a little worried. If I'm hanging out downstairs, and she has that look, then it gets really quiet, I trudge up the stairs wondering if I'll find a reverse mohawk on the dog or a lovely new artwork gracing my wall. She usually never disappoints, and gives me a fresh, new definition of "what's the worst she could be doing?". Parenthood is a lot of things, but one thing it never is is boring.
Thought of the Day: Smoke Inhalation
My new state of residence has been on fire. On Monday, it took me 90 minutes to get to work, because they blocked off most of the roads leading to work. We wore masks all day, and had our equipment vans loaded for evacuation. The Santiago fire, which is still going strong, came within one mile of my building. The next day when I drove home all I saw was charred hill after charred hill.
Sounds bad, but I'm grateful, because to the south San Diego has been on fire far worse than Orange County. They had to evacuate a million people and nearly 2,000 homes were burned to the ground. These fires, which have left nearly all of my fellow Southern Californians with chest pains and breathing issues, and have made my toddler sound like a three-pack-a-day smoker, are being referred to as superfires.
Global warming experts predicted these superfires five years ago, and the Bush Regime did nothing. I guess they couldn't make any money from it, so they said "fuck it", now 2,000 families in San Diego are homeless. I'm just left with a whole lot of anger and frustration. The next bastard who comes up to me and denies the existence of global warning gets a slap upside the head from this girl. In fact, we should take all of the deniers and make them volunteer on the fire crews, so that they can see first hand the damage they've done by supporting neocon and big oil propaganda. Meanwhile, I'll be hanging out inside with my air purifier trying to explain to my three-year-old why we can't take Fozzy for a walk today.
Sounds bad, but I'm grateful, because to the south San Diego has been on fire far worse than Orange County. They had to evacuate a million people and nearly 2,000 homes were burned to the ground. These fires, which have left nearly all of my fellow Southern Californians with chest pains and breathing issues, and have made my toddler sound like a three-pack-a-day smoker, are being referred to as superfires.
Global warming experts predicted these superfires five years ago, and the Bush Regime did nothing. I guess they couldn't make any money from it, so they said "fuck it", now 2,000 families in San Diego are homeless. I'm just left with a whole lot of anger and frustration. The next bastard who comes up to me and denies the existence of global warning gets a slap upside the head from this girl. In fact, we should take all of the deniers and make them volunteer on the fire crews, so that they can see first hand the damage they've done by supporting neocon and big oil propaganda. Meanwhile, I'll be hanging out inside with my air purifier trying to explain to my three-year-old why we can't take Fozzy for a walk today.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Thought of the Day: Stupid Arguments
The U.S. is set to honor the Dalai Lama, and China is pissed off. They are trying to argue that the Dalai Lama is evil, and that he wants a free Tibet at the expense of the People's Republic of China.
I may not keep up on the news as regularly as I should with my busy schedule, but I can't remember a time when I saw a group of Tibetan monks opening up a can of whoopass on some innocent Chinese folks. However, I can very clearly remember a scene where the Chinese army was burning a monastery, beating monks with canes, and pushing them off balconies several stories in the air.
Sorry China, but your argument is stupid. You are a country with a terrible civil rights record trying to call into question a guy who regularly espouses messages of peace, hope, and harmony. Even your own people who you are targeting with a decent amount of propaganda most likely know you're full of shit. The only reason you don't like the Dalai Lama is because he refuses to roll over and play dead (no matter how dead you want him to be).
I may not keep up on the news as regularly as I should with my busy schedule, but I can't remember a time when I saw a group of Tibetan monks opening up a can of whoopass on some innocent Chinese folks. However, I can very clearly remember a scene where the Chinese army was burning a monastery, beating monks with canes, and pushing them off balconies several stories in the air.
Sorry China, but your argument is stupid. You are a country with a terrible civil rights record trying to call into question a guy who regularly espouses messages of peace, hope, and harmony. Even your own people who you are targeting with a decent amount of propaganda most likely know you're full of shit. The only reason you don't like the Dalai Lama is because he refuses to roll over and play dead (no matter how dead you want him to be).
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Thought of the Day: Old Guy Dads
Actor Nick Nolte and his girlfriend just had a baby. She looks like she's about my age, and Nick is 66. There is quite an alarming trend of men over the age of 50 becoming dads, and I'm wondering what the hell is prompting this.
I've been a mom for nearly four years, and I'll be the first one to tell you that kids are not the key to the fountain of youth. I didn't have to use wrinkle cream before the girl was born. I wasn't as stressed, I got plenty of sleep, and my boobs looked far more fabulous.
Most guys I know over the age of 50 want to remain vital and active, but on their own terms. If you ask them, their idea of vitality doesn't involve diapers or wiping snotty noses. In fact, most guys over the age of 50 want to deal with other kids issues such as helping them choose a good college, or planning graduation parties.
I know there are a lot of men out there who think that having that young wife would be a lot of fun, but with the young wife comes her young wants and young needs as well as her biological clock. I guess the advantage in all of this is that if you have a really old dad, with any luck, you can both wear the same brand of diapers.
I've been a mom for nearly four years, and I'll be the first one to tell you that kids are not the key to the fountain of youth. I didn't have to use wrinkle cream before the girl was born. I wasn't as stressed, I got plenty of sleep, and my boobs looked far more fabulous.
Most guys I know over the age of 50 want to remain vital and active, but on their own terms. If you ask them, their idea of vitality doesn't involve diapers or wiping snotty noses. In fact, most guys over the age of 50 want to deal with other kids issues such as helping them choose a good college, or planning graduation parties.
I know there are a lot of men out there who think that having that young wife would be a lot of fun, but with the young wife comes her young wants and young needs as well as her biological clock. I guess the advantage in all of this is that if you have a really old dad, with any luck, you can both wear the same brand of diapers.
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Thought of the Day: "I'll Say Anything" Politics
Nobody likes politicians, and I can see why. These assholes have earned their reputations. They regularly lie to the American public, use their position and influence to line their pockets or make friends who will give them jobs once they are out of "public service", and they will say anything to get elected.
In the past few weeks, alone, Hillary Clinton, a candidate who once championed the healthcare movement, has advocated letting private companies take over the "healthcare for everyone" movement (because Kaiser, Pacificare, and others have done such a good job up to this point...NOT), so that she won't seem like such a liberal. Rudy Giuliani has accused Mitt Romney of betraying his values, because he is looking at the reality of 48 million uninsured Americans and sees the need for universal healthcare, and of course proposing a solution to the healthcare crisis is very liberal. John McCain is standing by his man, G.W. Bush, on the issue of the war, but refuses to admit he would re-instate the draft in a quick second if he was elected. Fred Thompson has flip-flopped on issues, Mitt Romney has flip-flopped on issues, Hillary and Rudy keep flip-flopping on issues, at least Barak Obama has the decency to be vague.
Looking at the state of our supposed democracy, I am now convinced that if a poll said that a majority of Americans (at least 80%) would vote for the candidate with a purple ass, then you would see the bulk of the front runners dropping trou at a tattoo shop stating, "yes, you heard me, purple, I need the entire ass purple."
In the past few weeks, alone, Hillary Clinton, a candidate who once championed the healthcare movement, has advocated letting private companies take over the "healthcare for everyone" movement (because Kaiser, Pacificare, and others have done such a good job up to this point...NOT), so that she won't seem like such a liberal. Rudy Giuliani has accused Mitt Romney of betraying his values, because he is looking at the reality of 48 million uninsured Americans and sees the need for universal healthcare, and of course proposing a solution to the healthcare crisis is very liberal. John McCain is standing by his man, G.W. Bush, on the issue of the war, but refuses to admit he would re-instate the draft in a quick second if he was elected. Fred Thompson has flip-flopped on issues, Mitt Romney has flip-flopped on issues, Hillary and Rudy keep flip-flopping on issues, at least Barak Obama has the decency to be vague.
Looking at the state of our supposed democracy, I am now convinced that if a poll said that a majority of Americans (at least 80%) would vote for the candidate with a purple ass, then you would see the bulk of the front runners dropping trou at a tattoo shop stating, "yes, you heard me, purple, I need the entire ass purple."
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Thought of the Day: Sweet, Cold Revenge
On a day to day basis I see so much that's wrong with the world. Assholes get away with making people's lives miserable, and you always hold out and hope that someday they will get theirs. Just at the moment I find myself contemplating throwing in the towel on karma, fate smiles its gold-toothed grin and shows me that what comes around, goes around isn't just a catchy saying.
Half a dozen years ago I worked for a company that the term "unethical" was created for. I watched them screw over nearly everyone they came into contact with. I wasn't too keen on their business practices, but I loved what I was doing (and I was too young to have learned to value myself yet), so I stayed. They worked me like a dog, paid me nothing, and the moment I brought all of my hard work to their attention, decided I was insubordinate and that we should part ways. The immediate joke seemed to be on me, because I was out of the only business I had wanted to work in since I was 13 years old. However, they had to hire five people to replace me, so I had the last muted chuckle.
I knew eventually their "screw you over for a nickel" ways would catch up to them, and today was that day. Now the main perpetrators get to feel what it's like to have the rug pulled out from under them. Maybe it's wrong for me to be this happy, and perhaps because of said happiness something bad will end up happening to me, but I can't help it. I'm giddy and loving life right now! If this is wrong, then I'll find some worthy non-profit to make a donation to. In fact, I'll give them a big donation; a little bit to cover the giddiness I feel now, and a lot to cover the bottle of wine I'm going to drink tonight to toast their downfall.
Half a dozen years ago I worked for a company that the term "unethical" was created for. I watched them screw over nearly everyone they came into contact with. I wasn't too keen on their business practices, but I loved what I was doing (and I was too young to have learned to value myself yet), so I stayed. They worked me like a dog, paid me nothing, and the moment I brought all of my hard work to their attention, decided I was insubordinate and that we should part ways. The immediate joke seemed to be on me, because I was out of the only business I had wanted to work in since I was 13 years old. However, they had to hire five people to replace me, so I had the last muted chuckle.
I knew eventually their "screw you over for a nickel" ways would catch up to them, and today was that day. Now the main perpetrators get to feel what it's like to have the rug pulled out from under them. Maybe it's wrong for me to be this happy, and perhaps because of said happiness something bad will end up happening to me, but I can't help it. I'm giddy and loving life right now! If this is wrong, then I'll find some worthy non-profit to make a donation to. In fact, I'll give them a big donation; a little bit to cover the giddiness I feel now, and a lot to cover the bottle of wine I'm going to drink tonight to toast their downfall.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Thought of the Day: Osama's Cell Plan
For Hanukkah this year I don't want fancy jewelry or the latest iGadget from Apple or even a relaxing spa day, what my heart truly desires is the one thing that will make existing in this world a lot easier: I want Osama bin Laden's cell phone plan.
I work in an industrial, office building strewn area in Irvine, California, but despite being surrounded by technology I can barely get two bars on a clear day. My calls cut out the moment I head over the smallest hill, I rarely make it through a conversation with out getting that garbled sound at least twice, and during lunch, I have to wander around outside waving my cell phone in the air like a moron to try and find the one tiny spot in the middle of the road where I can actually get reception. Meanwhile, Osama is hiding out in cave in Pakistan making all sorts of calls to Al Jazeera, and from the playback tapes on the news, he's coming in crystal clear.
What kind of karma is it when America's most feared terrorist mastermind who is personally responsible for the deaths of thousands can get great cell service, but me, an friendly punk mama from Orange County who has never hurt anyone (who didn't have it coming) has to carry two phones in her purse, because the Metro PCS covers one area while the T-Mobile almost covers the other.
I don't ask for much in life; health, happiness, a day where my husband doesn't nag me to do something that I forgot to do, so why can't I find a cell plan as good as the one owned by a fundamentalist jihadist who once herded goats for a living. I'm way more deserving, and unlike Osama, I'll reserve my ire for the real Americans that should be targeted - those bastards in D.C. profiting from the war.
I work in an industrial, office building strewn area in Irvine, California, but despite being surrounded by technology I can barely get two bars on a clear day. My calls cut out the moment I head over the smallest hill, I rarely make it through a conversation with out getting that garbled sound at least twice, and during lunch, I have to wander around outside waving my cell phone in the air like a moron to try and find the one tiny spot in the middle of the road where I can actually get reception. Meanwhile, Osama is hiding out in cave in Pakistan making all sorts of calls to Al Jazeera, and from the playback tapes on the news, he's coming in crystal clear.
What kind of karma is it when America's most feared terrorist mastermind who is personally responsible for the deaths of thousands can get great cell service, but me, an friendly punk mama from Orange County who has never hurt anyone (who didn't have it coming) has to carry two phones in her purse, because the Metro PCS covers one area while the T-Mobile almost covers the other.
I don't ask for much in life; health, happiness, a day where my husband doesn't nag me to do something that I forgot to do, so why can't I find a cell plan as good as the one owned by a fundamentalist jihadist who once herded goats for a living. I'm way more deserving, and unlike Osama, I'll reserve my ire for the real Americans that should be targeted - those bastards in D.C. profiting from the war.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Thought of the Day
Now it's personal. My 20-year-old cousin was deployed to Iraq yesterday. I'm so pissed I can barely see straight. I'm one of those shit disturbers that has been against this war since the beginning. Maybe I'm crazy, but I don't see the benefit of young people dying or lose a limb for corporate oil profits.
He doesn't even know when he'll be home, because those fuckers keep extending military deployments, so basically he is in that desert shithole until We, The People get off our collective asses and begin raising severe amounts of hell. I would say he's over there until the opposition party grows some balls, but that's not going to happen anytime soon. I voted those assholes in because they said they were going to end this war, but they turned out be a bunch of gutless wonders.
I just hope he doesn't end up coming home the way most service people are returning, with an amputated limb or in a body bag. I have to believe that he will be okay, but I worry about the poor boy's mind. Watching horror movies, playing 'shoot 'em up' Xbox games, and being desensitized daily by advertising is one thing, but coming face to face with the reality and smell of death is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
I'll pray for my young cousin nightly, and as for those bastards in D.C. they'd better do something to end this soon.
He doesn't even know when he'll be home, because those fuckers keep extending military deployments, so basically he is in that desert shithole until We, The People get off our collective asses and begin raising severe amounts of hell. I would say he's over there until the opposition party grows some balls, but that's not going to happen anytime soon. I voted those assholes in because they said they were going to end this war, but they turned out be a bunch of gutless wonders.
I just hope he doesn't end up coming home the way most service people are returning, with an amputated limb or in a body bag. I have to believe that he will be okay, but I worry about the poor boy's mind. Watching horror movies, playing 'shoot 'em up' Xbox games, and being desensitized daily by advertising is one thing, but coming face to face with the reality and smell of death is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
I'll pray for my young cousin nightly, and as for those bastards in D.C. they'd better do something to end this soon.
Monday, September 24, 2007
Thought of the Day
I love my new home in Southern California, but I haven't quite gotten used to the obsession with perfection, and the numerous surgical means for achieving said perfection. I was looking through the local indie magazine this week when I saw one of the many plastic surgery centers advertising a procedure called "vaginal rejuvenation".
After a few curious moments, I went to the Google and found out that your face and boobs aren't the only things that droop or sag a bit with age. My question now is, who in the world decided that their private parts were too old looking, and how did they make this discovery!?! I know my nightly routine includes washing my face, brushing my teeth, applying wrinkle cream, and combing out my hair, but perhaps I've completely missed the step where I stand naked over a mirror to make sure my vagina still looks as fabulous as it did when I was in my early 20s.
I have been on this earth for 34 years, and in that time I have met a lot of men from all backgrounds, cultures, and countries with various tastes and preferences, and aside from the gay ones, I have never known a man to turn away pussy because the labial lobes weren't tight enough. Any man who did turn it away for that reason is an asshole you wouldn't want to fuck anyways, so what's the point of this stupid surgery!
This procedure should be the straw that breaks the camel's back. It should be the one thing that gives us a clue that no matter how much you use a knife to alter your appearance, you will never be perfect, because there is no one definition of perfect. One person's perfect is another person's Frankenstein, so ladies, enough plastic surgery bullshit, and for fuck's sake be kind to your body, and spare your vag the hatchet job.
After a few curious moments, I went to the Google and found out that your face and boobs aren't the only things that droop or sag a bit with age. My question now is, who in the world decided that their private parts were too old looking, and how did they make this discovery!?! I know my nightly routine includes washing my face, brushing my teeth, applying wrinkle cream, and combing out my hair, but perhaps I've completely missed the step where I stand naked over a mirror to make sure my vagina still looks as fabulous as it did when I was in my early 20s.
I have been on this earth for 34 years, and in that time I have met a lot of men from all backgrounds, cultures, and countries with various tastes and preferences, and aside from the gay ones, I have never known a man to turn away pussy because the labial lobes weren't tight enough. Any man who did turn it away for that reason is an asshole you wouldn't want to fuck anyways, so what's the point of this stupid surgery!
This procedure should be the straw that breaks the camel's back. It should be the one thing that gives us a clue that no matter how much you use a knife to alter your appearance, you will never be perfect, because there is no one definition of perfect. One person's perfect is another person's Frankenstein, so ladies, enough plastic surgery bullshit, and for fuck's sake be kind to your body, and spare your vag the hatchet job.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Thought of the Day
There is this new reality show on either Lifetime or TLC called "Crazy, Sexy Cancer" about women who overcome cancer. Now I'm all about empowerment, but this just rubs me wrong. I've known a fair amount of cancer survivors, and there is nothing sexy about cancer. Losing your hair after chemo isn't sexy, vomiting your guts up after an adverse reaction to your drug cocktail isn't sexy, feeling like shit isn't sexy, and losing a body part is definitely not sexy.
And why does everything have to be sexy anyways. Are we such a society of babies that we have to glam up the reality of illness just to feel like we live in an okay world where everything has a happy ending?
Cancer is a shitty disease that some people live through and others don't. Attitude is a big part of surviving anything, but depending on your cancer, it's just a crap shoot. I think a better title for the show would have been, "Shitty Cancer and the Crazy, Sexy People Who Survive It."
And why does everything have to be sexy anyways. Are we such a society of babies that we have to glam up the reality of illness just to feel like we live in an okay world where everything has a happy ending?
Cancer is a shitty disease that some people live through and others don't. Attitude is a big part of surviving anything, but depending on your cancer, it's just a crap shoot. I think a better title for the show would have been, "Shitty Cancer and the Crazy, Sexy People Who Survive It."
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Thought of the Day
I know this sounds crazy, but I think this whole business about O.J. Simpson being involved in an armed robbery is bullshit. I'm no fan of the guy, and do believe he killed his wife. Any man that could bloody the mother of his children's face with his fists in a violent rage, could kill her without a hitch. However, this latest media hype (which I'm already completely sick of) just seems like a charade.
Why would O.J., a guy who is well aware of his social pariah status, get involved with a traffic ticket, let alone something like armed robbery. There are too many holes in the story, and the witnesses are already proving to be completely unreliable. What this situation is, plain and simple, is the desire by everyone to see this guy punished, but the big problem is that punishing him for anything just to punish him is wrong. Our legal system is designed to achieve fair results in most situations. I believe it failed in the O.J. case, largely due to media sensationalism. However, it's a pretty good system.
This latest tabloid splash is just American society's desire to see revenge played out on a guy who deserves to be in prison. The thought of O.J. behind bars would make me happy, but the thought of anyone wrongly convicted or jailed over bullshit charges makes me shutter. Enough of this O.J. crap, and let's make the news talk about something relevant like the fact that all of the presidential candidates suck.
Why would O.J., a guy who is well aware of his social pariah status, get involved with a traffic ticket, let alone something like armed robbery. There are too many holes in the story, and the witnesses are already proving to be completely unreliable. What this situation is, plain and simple, is the desire by everyone to see this guy punished, but the big problem is that punishing him for anything just to punish him is wrong. Our legal system is designed to achieve fair results in most situations. I believe it failed in the O.J. case, largely due to media sensationalism. However, it's a pretty good system.
This latest tabloid splash is just American society's desire to see revenge played out on a guy who deserves to be in prison. The thought of O.J. behind bars would make me happy, but the thought of anyone wrongly convicted or jailed over bullshit charges makes me shutter. Enough of this O.J. crap, and let's make the news talk about something relevant like the fact that all of the presidential candidates suck.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
9/11 Nothingness
I remember where I was six years ago today. Jeff and I were just waking up to our talk radio alarm clock when the announcer asked the guy in the traffic helicopter how long he would be able to stay in the air. The helicopter guy said that all airports had been put on lock down. Jeff jumped out of bed, turned on the television, and we watched in disbelief as the plane hit the second tower. The rest of the day was spent dealing with the reality of what had just happened. It was amplified for me, because I was working at The Museum of Flight at that time. Our Museum was located in front of Boeing Field, and for the next two weeks the only planes that flew were military, or private jets donated by local millionaires to the Red Cross for supply flights back East.
I would like to sit here at this time and talk about positive things that have emerged out of this terrible tragedy, but I can’t, because not a damn good thing came out of this. We were united as a nation for a little while. One of the first flights I took after 9/11 was amazing. Strangers from every background you could imagine were making great conversation with others around them. I sat in between a young California State trooper and a traveling photographer, and enjoyed the talk. At the time, everyone needed it. We needed to know that those on our left or right were on the same page and willing to put forth the effort to re-assure their brethren that all was well.
Unfortunately, this unity that formed in the wake of the 9/11 tragedy was manipulated, abused, and stomped on by greedy politicians and corporate war profiteers who used our need to feel safe for their own selfish gain. Bush and Company won the election by playing to our fears, yet they have never done a thing since the tragedy to ease them. We are at war with a country that had nothing to do with 9/11, other than applaud it. We now have to practically strip down to our skivvies at the airport in order to take a flight. Mothers have to surrender their children’s formula or breast milk at the checkpoint or be delayed with seven kinds of hell. We have given the government the right to wiretap our phones and houses, hold us under arrest indefinitely, and violate most of our personal rights in the name of security. However, they have consistently failed to provide adequate security.
We are no safer now than we were six years ago, and the difference today is that we are in far more danger. The country we should have gone after with the terrorist mastermind who plotted 9/11 has been virtually untouched. The Taliban is still in power, and the poppy industry (i.e. heroin) is booming there. The country swallowing all of our military, money, and energy has become a cesspool of sectarian violence and has already turned into our next Vietnam. It has also served as fertile training ground for those who hate the U.S. to become more efficient at killing us. We are no longer seen as the world’s ally, we are now the bully in the schoolyard.
What is even more frightening is the fact that Osama bin Laden has never been caught, and will never be caught, not because our military is too incompetent to find him, but because our politicians need bin Laden. Without bin Laden they can’t get us to live in fear, surrender our freedom, or keep funding the war machine that makes them rich. Losing bin Laden would be losing that ‘bear in the woods’. He has become the boogeyman under the bed, the Snowball in Animal Farm. Even the latest video message, supposedly from bin Laden, looks like a farce perpetrated to keep us at ‘war with Eurasia, because we have always been at war with Eurasia.’
I wish like hell that 9/11 would have never happened, but it did. What I wanted to see come from it was the perseverance that I know this country is capable of and it did, for awhile. Now what I would like to see from us all is a quest for honesty, truth, and the determination to get the manipulators, war profiteers, and crooked politicians out of positions of power. Next 9/11, I would like to be able to write about the way our country pulled together, gave the government hacks a good kick in the ass, forced the re-investment into the infrastructure, and did away with the ‘bin Laden is watching’ myth. Next year, I truly believe we can kill Snowball and end the war with Eurasia.
I would like to sit here at this time and talk about positive things that have emerged out of this terrible tragedy, but I can’t, because not a damn good thing came out of this. We were united as a nation for a little while. One of the first flights I took after 9/11 was amazing. Strangers from every background you could imagine were making great conversation with others around them. I sat in between a young California State trooper and a traveling photographer, and enjoyed the talk. At the time, everyone needed it. We needed to know that those on our left or right were on the same page and willing to put forth the effort to re-assure their brethren that all was well.
Unfortunately, this unity that formed in the wake of the 9/11 tragedy was manipulated, abused, and stomped on by greedy politicians and corporate war profiteers who used our need to feel safe for their own selfish gain. Bush and Company won the election by playing to our fears, yet they have never done a thing since the tragedy to ease them. We are at war with a country that had nothing to do with 9/11, other than applaud it. We now have to practically strip down to our skivvies at the airport in order to take a flight. Mothers have to surrender their children’s formula or breast milk at the checkpoint or be delayed with seven kinds of hell. We have given the government the right to wiretap our phones and houses, hold us under arrest indefinitely, and violate most of our personal rights in the name of security. However, they have consistently failed to provide adequate security.
We are no safer now than we were six years ago, and the difference today is that we are in far more danger. The country we should have gone after with the terrorist mastermind who plotted 9/11 has been virtually untouched. The Taliban is still in power, and the poppy industry (i.e. heroin) is booming there. The country swallowing all of our military, money, and energy has become a cesspool of sectarian violence and has already turned into our next Vietnam. It has also served as fertile training ground for those who hate the U.S. to become more efficient at killing us. We are no longer seen as the world’s ally, we are now the bully in the schoolyard.
What is even more frightening is the fact that Osama bin Laden has never been caught, and will never be caught, not because our military is too incompetent to find him, but because our politicians need bin Laden. Without bin Laden they can’t get us to live in fear, surrender our freedom, or keep funding the war machine that makes them rich. Losing bin Laden would be losing that ‘bear in the woods’. He has become the boogeyman under the bed, the Snowball in Animal Farm. Even the latest video message, supposedly from bin Laden, looks like a farce perpetrated to keep us at ‘war with Eurasia, because we have always been at war with Eurasia.’
I wish like hell that 9/11 would have never happened, but it did. What I wanted to see come from it was the perseverance that I know this country is capable of and it did, for awhile. Now what I would like to see from us all is a quest for honesty, truth, and the determination to get the manipulators, war profiteers, and crooked politicians out of positions of power. Next 9/11, I would like to be able to write about the way our country pulled together, gave the government hacks a good kick in the ass, forced the re-investment into the infrastructure, and did away with the ‘bin Laden is watching’ myth. Next year, I truly believe we can kill Snowball and end the war with Eurasia.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Weekly Recap 8/26-9/1: President Prison Snitch & Hilly Krystal RIP
Headline News Recap
After a term of wailing incompetence, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales stepped down at the beginning of this week. Most reasonable people would be panicking if half of their cabinet began walking away from them like they were prison snitches, but President Bush remains completely unaware that he is doing anything wrong. I just wonder when Condi will throw in the towel.
Punks everywhere need to do a shot and shed a collective tear for the passing of Hilly Kristal. Hilly was the owner of CBGB, and nurtured the American punk scene into the force of nature it became. Hilly often faced an uphill battle keeping the club open over the years, and finally had to give up the fight when he was too sick with lung cancer to keep CBGB going. On the count of 1-2-3-4, raise your glass, give a big “Oi! Oi! Oi!” and drink one down for Hilly.
Being a former Idahoan I have to talk about the whole Larry Craig thing. Basically the pious, soon-to-be former senator was busted cruising guys in a Washington D.C. bathroom. Instead of owning up to what he did, Craig is now denying it and claiming that the Idaho Statesman (the largest newspaper in the state) went after him in a “witch hunt” fashion. I personally know a few of the top people at the Statesman, and they would not go up against the powerful Idaho political machine unless they knew damn well that their investigation was based on fact. Also, this isn’t the first time a guy has come forward about Larry Craig (surprise, surprise). In the end, I’m laughing my ass off about this, because Larry and his other “holier-than-thou” Republican cronies who are the self-proclaimed holders of all things moral are being exposed as the hypocrites they really are.
It’s Round Two of White European Newspapers vs. Prophet Mohammed as a Swedish newspaper published cartoons depicting the head of Mohammed on the body of a dog. Last year at about this time, the shit hit the fan when a Danish newspaper published Mohammed cartoons. Let me take this opportunity to set something straight; when you decide to practice any tradition, religion, action, etc. in a country that has free speech, then you may from time to time endure criticism. If you don’t like it, leave the country. Muslims are protesting the newspaper, and they have every right to, but they have no right to force or intimidate the paper into not publishing something that is contradictory to their culture. Maybe that idea goes over in Pakistan, but Abdul, you live in Sweden, and in Sweden they have freedom of speech and furniture you assemble with confusing and vague directions. If you don’t like it, you are free to go.
Miss South Carolina Teen USA, Lauren Caitlan Upton, is getting a second chance to answer a question she botched at the Miss Teen USA pageant last weekend. When asked why most Americans can’t find the U.S. on the map, Miss Upton started in with a rambling, incoherent answer that left everyone puzzled. Which leads me to ask, ‘I’m sorry, in this day and age, why are there still beauty contests for teenagers?’
Forbes magazine came out with their World’s Most Powerful Women list this week. Topping the list for the second year in a row was Angela Merkel, the chancellor of Germany. Rated next on the list was the Vice Premier of China Wu Yi. Although I don’t like Hillary Clinton, it’s just embarrassing at this point that the U.S. hasn’t had a female president.
In Local News
I used to think my iron deficiency was a bad thing, but SoCal has been hit with triple digit temperatures, so the lack of iron in my blood is now working in my favor. It’s hot as hell here, but I rarely feel warm. Sure, the exhaustion side effect is a little difficult to deal with, but I have made up for it by drinking extra caffeine. I will return to a healthy, multi-vitamin, and iron supplement lifestyle, but not until these 90-100 degree days are over. Until then, I’ll grab another Diet Pepsi and maybe a summer sweater.
Worthless Entertainment News
CBS is catching hell for its new show, Kid Nation. The premise of the reality show is that 40 are sent to live in a ghost town where they have to form a government and take care of each other. What CBS didn’t realize is that this plot has been done before in a book called, Lord of the Flies and judging by how well that story turned out I would recommend that CBS begin hiring more staff attorneys.
Asshole(s) of the Week
Mainstream International Media – Princess Diana died ten years ago in a horrific car accident. If you weren’t aware of this you are probably a blind, deaf, mute living in a cave somewhere in the South American rain forest. I remember the night that she died, because that was all that you heard about. For weeks on end, it was Princess Di 24/7. I thought her funeral was sad, and I didn’t mind the nice tribute one of the networks did about the charitable work that defined her life. Once the commotion died down, I thought they would let the woman rest in peace, as I’m sure most of her family hoped as well, but here we are ten years later, and the media is at it again. I agreed with Di’s brother about the media being involved in her death. I know the driver’s blood-alcohol limit was over the line, but if he hadn’t had to speed in order to get away from vulture-like photographers, maybe Di would still be speaking out against landmines today. The saddest thing is that the media is so scandal hungry that they won’t let the woman rest in peace. She wasn’t secretly murdered, she wasn’t part of an elaborate plan to bring down the royal family, and I don’t believe for a second that most of these losery guys coming forward with stories of their wild affairs with Di are in the least bit true. Di would have never compromised the integrity of her hairstyle for a wild time with anyone, she wasn’t that type. For exploiting Princess Di’s death and ignoring her own children’s pleas to let her rest in peace, Mainstream International Media, you are the Assholes of the Week.
After a term of wailing incompetence, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales stepped down at the beginning of this week. Most reasonable people would be panicking if half of their cabinet began walking away from them like they were prison snitches, but President Bush remains completely unaware that he is doing anything wrong. I just wonder when Condi will throw in the towel.
Punks everywhere need to do a shot and shed a collective tear for the passing of Hilly Kristal. Hilly was the owner of CBGB, and nurtured the American punk scene into the force of nature it became. Hilly often faced an uphill battle keeping the club open over the years, and finally had to give up the fight when he was too sick with lung cancer to keep CBGB going. On the count of 1-2-3-4, raise your glass, give a big “Oi! Oi! Oi!” and drink one down for Hilly.
Being a former Idahoan I have to talk about the whole Larry Craig thing. Basically the pious, soon-to-be former senator was busted cruising guys in a Washington D.C. bathroom. Instead of owning up to what he did, Craig is now denying it and claiming that the Idaho Statesman (the largest newspaper in the state) went after him in a “witch hunt” fashion. I personally know a few of the top people at the Statesman, and they would not go up against the powerful Idaho political machine unless they knew damn well that their investigation was based on fact. Also, this isn’t the first time a guy has come forward about Larry Craig (surprise, surprise). In the end, I’m laughing my ass off about this, because Larry and his other “holier-than-thou” Republican cronies who are the self-proclaimed holders of all things moral are being exposed as the hypocrites they really are.
It’s Round Two of White European Newspapers vs. Prophet Mohammed as a Swedish newspaper published cartoons depicting the head of Mohammed on the body of a dog. Last year at about this time, the shit hit the fan when a Danish newspaper published Mohammed cartoons. Let me take this opportunity to set something straight; when you decide to practice any tradition, religion, action, etc. in a country that has free speech, then you may from time to time endure criticism. If you don’t like it, leave the country. Muslims are protesting the newspaper, and they have every right to, but they have no right to force or intimidate the paper into not publishing something that is contradictory to their culture. Maybe that idea goes over in Pakistan, but Abdul, you live in Sweden, and in Sweden they have freedom of speech and furniture you assemble with confusing and vague directions. If you don’t like it, you are free to go.
Miss South Carolina Teen USA, Lauren Caitlan Upton, is getting a second chance to answer a question she botched at the Miss Teen USA pageant last weekend. When asked why most Americans can’t find the U.S. on the map, Miss Upton started in with a rambling, incoherent answer that left everyone puzzled. Which leads me to ask, ‘I’m sorry, in this day and age, why are there still beauty contests for teenagers?’
Forbes magazine came out with their World’s Most Powerful Women list this week. Topping the list for the second year in a row was Angela Merkel, the chancellor of Germany. Rated next on the list was the Vice Premier of China Wu Yi. Although I don’t like Hillary Clinton, it’s just embarrassing at this point that the U.S. hasn’t had a female president.
In Local News
I used to think my iron deficiency was a bad thing, but SoCal has been hit with triple digit temperatures, so the lack of iron in my blood is now working in my favor. It’s hot as hell here, but I rarely feel warm. Sure, the exhaustion side effect is a little difficult to deal with, but I have made up for it by drinking extra caffeine. I will return to a healthy, multi-vitamin, and iron supplement lifestyle, but not until these 90-100 degree days are over. Until then, I’ll grab another Diet Pepsi and maybe a summer sweater.
Worthless Entertainment News
CBS is catching hell for its new show, Kid Nation. The premise of the reality show is that 40 are sent to live in a ghost town where they have to form a government and take care of each other. What CBS didn’t realize is that this plot has been done before in a book called, Lord of the Flies and judging by how well that story turned out I would recommend that CBS begin hiring more staff attorneys.
Asshole(s) of the Week
Mainstream International Media – Princess Diana died ten years ago in a horrific car accident. If you weren’t aware of this you are probably a blind, deaf, mute living in a cave somewhere in the South American rain forest. I remember the night that she died, because that was all that you heard about. For weeks on end, it was Princess Di 24/7. I thought her funeral was sad, and I didn’t mind the nice tribute one of the networks did about the charitable work that defined her life. Once the commotion died down, I thought they would let the woman rest in peace, as I’m sure most of her family hoped as well, but here we are ten years later, and the media is at it again. I agreed with Di’s brother about the media being involved in her death. I know the driver’s blood-alcohol limit was over the line, but if he hadn’t had to speed in order to get away from vulture-like photographers, maybe Di would still be speaking out against landmines today. The saddest thing is that the media is so scandal hungry that they won’t let the woman rest in peace. She wasn’t secretly murdered, she wasn’t part of an elaborate plan to bring down the royal family, and I don’t believe for a second that most of these losery guys coming forward with stories of their wild affairs with Di are in the least bit true. Di would have never compromised the integrity of her hairstyle for a wild time with anyone, she wasn’t that type. For exploiting Princess Di’s death and ignoring her own children’s pleas to let her rest in peace, Mainstream International Media, you are the Assholes of the Week.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
The Battle of Tooth Liberation Day
I was ecstatic; my 13-month ordeal was about to come to an end. No more small cuts on the tender flesh inside my mouth from the metal attachments on my teeth. I was 72 hours, two events, and three states away from a gorgeous Hollywood smile.
Friday night, I worked an event until late. By the time I got back to the house, settled into my jammies, and went to the computer it was 12:30 AM. My flight was at 8:10 AM, and was leaving from the very busy John Wayne Airport in Orange County. ‘Big deal, I’ll sleep on the plane and at the hotel,’ I thought as I scrolled through flight, hotel, and rental car confirmation emails.
My plan was to fly from Orange County to San Jose on Saturday morning, get some rest at the hotel, and attend our cousins’ wedding reception on Saturday night. On Sunday morning, I would fly from San Jose to Seattle, hang out in the city, and get my braces off first thing Monday morning. I would have lunch with my former co-worker, and show off my pretty teeth on Monday afternoon, and be back home by Monday evening. Simple enough; and I had most of it planned in advance.
The first hint that my busy weekend was not going to be the perfectly choreographed art piece that I intended came when I looked at my flight reservation to Seattle for Sunday morning. Through my tired, blurry eyes I wanted to see my flight leaving at 9:35 AM, but in my zeal to get a cheap fare had accidentally booked the flight for 9:35 PM. I quickly double-checked my hotel reservation, and was relieved that I could check in at all hours since I secured it with a credit card. The rental car was another story. I had to re-book with a different company, because my original reservation didn’t have an office open past 11:00 PM, and I was coming in at 11:30 PM. I finally got to bed at 1:30 AM for a brisk four hour nap before waking to shower and catch my flight.
My flight into San Jose was delayed, of course, but I made it to the hotel in enough time to enjoy breakfast with my family, UFO abductees, conspiracy theorists, and transsexuals. My husband booked us into the DoubleTree the weekend they were hosting the annual Alien Abduction Conference on one side of the hotel and the Transsexual Rights Conference on the other side. It was fantastic! At one point during the stay I found myself in the elevator with an 8-foot tall woman in a hot pink dress with big, blonde hair and an overweight man wearing a shirt bearing the face of an alien that said “Abducted and Survived”.
The Saturday night party commemorating the wedding of our cousin and his new wife was fantastic. Her heritage is Mexican, so our auntie went all out with a fabulous buffet of authentic Mexican dishes, a Mariachi band, and eight different wedding cakes. The bride’s mother brought in the best tequila I have ever had in my life, and by the end of the evening I had consumed way too much cake and liquor. Fortunately, I was able to guzzle three bottled waters and some Pepto to avoid the hangover and stomach ache.
Sunday I woke up and called the airline first thing to find out if I could hop an earlier flight to Seattle, but it was all Murphy’s Law that day. The flights out of San Jose were booked solid until 9:30 PM, so I made plans to attend the dim sum brunch with other members of the family, and hang out with Jeff’s uncle the rest of the day.
The highlight of Sunday was attending another cousin’s 60th birthday party. This cousin was one of the original Haight/Ashbury hippies, and still ran with a like-minded crowd. We sat in the sun, talked a little politics, admired her brother’s enormous medical marijuana plants, and ended up eating more cake and drinking more alcohol.
I caught my flight to Seattle after an argument at the security line. My facial cleanser was 5 oz. instead of 3 oz., so they gave me the choice of throwing the cleanser away or checking my bag. I checked my bag, because I’ll be damned if I’m going to go for a day or two with a dirty face to assist the façade of “national security”. By the time I got my rental car, and checked into the hotel, I was, again, looking at a four hour nap before my appointment, but nonetheless I was happy and excited.
The tooth liberation process took 90 minutes. The brackets came off within the first three minutes of the appointment, but the cement holding the brackets had to be drilled away by the orthodontist. I was edgy as the drill hit my teeth, but knew I had to find some way to deal with it, so from deep in my brain, the rhythmic breathing that I practiced during labor surfaced and took over. The crazy thing was it put me completely at ease. I was able to focus on the fact that the sensitivity during drilling was not coming from the drill; instead it was the work of the over-enthusiastic assistant holding the cold air tube. I suffered through the appointment and now had beautiful teeth to show off. Nothing could make this day bad.
I had a pleasant lunch with my former co-worker, and headed to the airport where my flight was on time. To avoid haggling with security, I checked my bag. I had a flight from Seattle to San Jose, a little over an hour layover, and then would finish the whirlwind weekend with a flight from San Jose to Orange County. I boarded the flight, and after ten minutes of waiting it was announced that President Bush was flying in to SeaTac airport to do a fundraiser, so all flights were grounded for at least 30 minutes. I had an hour layover in San Jose, so I kept an eye on my watch thinking the whole time, ‘If I miss my connection because President Dipshit is doing a fundraiser for Congressman Worthless (Dave Reichert), I’m going to be one pissed off lady.’
I didn’t miss my connecting flight, because when we got in, I had seven minutes to run all the way from Terminal C to Terminal A, and I ran…in three inch heels…while my husband was yelling at me on my cell phone that he couldn’t find the car at the Orange County airport that he was trying to pick up to avoid paying an additional $5 in parking fees.
I ended the day showing off my teeth to my family, and getting to bed in enough time to get a full eight hours of sleep. On Tuesday morning I awoke to find my luggage outside my front door, because it had been lost the night before from Seattle to San Jose. Thankfully, I am able to look back on this hectic weekend and smile with my new, Hollywood teeth.
Friday night, I worked an event until late. By the time I got back to the house, settled into my jammies, and went to the computer it was 12:30 AM. My flight was at 8:10 AM, and was leaving from the very busy John Wayne Airport in Orange County. ‘Big deal, I’ll sleep on the plane and at the hotel,’ I thought as I scrolled through flight, hotel, and rental car confirmation emails.
My plan was to fly from Orange County to San Jose on Saturday morning, get some rest at the hotel, and attend our cousins’ wedding reception on Saturday night. On Sunday morning, I would fly from San Jose to Seattle, hang out in the city, and get my braces off first thing Monday morning. I would have lunch with my former co-worker, and show off my pretty teeth on Monday afternoon, and be back home by Monday evening. Simple enough; and I had most of it planned in advance.
The first hint that my busy weekend was not going to be the perfectly choreographed art piece that I intended came when I looked at my flight reservation to Seattle for Sunday morning. Through my tired, blurry eyes I wanted to see my flight leaving at 9:35 AM, but in my zeal to get a cheap fare had accidentally booked the flight for 9:35 PM. I quickly double-checked my hotel reservation, and was relieved that I could check in at all hours since I secured it with a credit card. The rental car was another story. I had to re-book with a different company, because my original reservation didn’t have an office open past 11:00 PM, and I was coming in at 11:30 PM. I finally got to bed at 1:30 AM for a brisk four hour nap before waking to shower and catch my flight.
My flight into San Jose was delayed, of course, but I made it to the hotel in enough time to enjoy breakfast with my family, UFO abductees, conspiracy theorists, and transsexuals. My husband booked us into the DoubleTree the weekend they were hosting the annual Alien Abduction Conference on one side of the hotel and the Transsexual Rights Conference on the other side. It was fantastic! At one point during the stay I found myself in the elevator with an 8-foot tall woman in a hot pink dress with big, blonde hair and an overweight man wearing a shirt bearing the face of an alien that said “Abducted and Survived”.
The Saturday night party commemorating the wedding of our cousin and his new wife was fantastic. Her heritage is Mexican, so our auntie went all out with a fabulous buffet of authentic Mexican dishes, a Mariachi band, and eight different wedding cakes. The bride’s mother brought in the best tequila I have ever had in my life, and by the end of the evening I had consumed way too much cake and liquor. Fortunately, I was able to guzzle three bottled waters and some Pepto to avoid the hangover and stomach ache.
Sunday I woke up and called the airline first thing to find out if I could hop an earlier flight to Seattle, but it was all Murphy’s Law that day. The flights out of San Jose were booked solid until 9:30 PM, so I made plans to attend the dim sum brunch with other members of the family, and hang out with Jeff’s uncle the rest of the day.
The highlight of Sunday was attending another cousin’s 60th birthday party. This cousin was one of the original Haight/Ashbury hippies, and still ran with a like-minded crowd. We sat in the sun, talked a little politics, admired her brother’s enormous medical marijuana plants, and ended up eating more cake and drinking more alcohol.
I caught my flight to Seattle after an argument at the security line. My facial cleanser was 5 oz. instead of 3 oz., so they gave me the choice of throwing the cleanser away or checking my bag. I checked my bag, because I’ll be damned if I’m going to go for a day or two with a dirty face to assist the façade of “national security”. By the time I got my rental car, and checked into the hotel, I was, again, looking at a four hour nap before my appointment, but nonetheless I was happy and excited.
The tooth liberation process took 90 minutes. The brackets came off within the first three minutes of the appointment, but the cement holding the brackets had to be drilled away by the orthodontist. I was edgy as the drill hit my teeth, but knew I had to find some way to deal with it, so from deep in my brain, the rhythmic breathing that I practiced during labor surfaced and took over. The crazy thing was it put me completely at ease. I was able to focus on the fact that the sensitivity during drilling was not coming from the drill; instead it was the work of the over-enthusiastic assistant holding the cold air tube. I suffered through the appointment and now had beautiful teeth to show off. Nothing could make this day bad.
I had a pleasant lunch with my former co-worker, and headed to the airport where my flight was on time. To avoid haggling with security, I checked my bag. I had a flight from Seattle to San Jose, a little over an hour layover, and then would finish the whirlwind weekend with a flight from San Jose to Orange County. I boarded the flight, and after ten minutes of waiting it was announced that President Bush was flying in to SeaTac airport to do a fundraiser, so all flights were grounded for at least 30 minutes. I had an hour layover in San Jose, so I kept an eye on my watch thinking the whole time, ‘If I miss my connection because President Dipshit is doing a fundraiser for Congressman Worthless (Dave Reichert), I’m going to be one pissed off lady.’
I didn’t miss my connecting flight, because when we got in, I had seven minutes to run all the way from Terminal C to Terminal A, and I ran…in three inch heels…while my husband was yelling at me on my cell phone that he couldn’t find the car at the Orange County airport that he was trying to pick up to avoid paying an additional $5 in parking fees.
I ended the day showing off my teeth to my family, and getting to bed in enough time to get a full eight hours of sleep. On Tuesday morning I awoke to find my luggage outside my front door, because it had been lost the night before from Seattle to San Jose. Thankfully, I am able to look back on this hectic weekend and smile with my new, Hollywood teeth.
Friday, August 17, 2007
Weekly Recap 8/12-18: Questioning Government Honesty & Bush Spawn
Headline News Recap
News sources everywhere are claiming that the majority of Americans will not be likely to trust the Iraq report due to be delivered by General David Petraeus in September. Gees, I’m not sure why that is, because the Administration has been so forthright and honest about the war in Iraq up to this point.
Speaking of capitalist driven disasters, efforts to rescue the miners trapped at the Crandall Canyon Mine came to a screeching halt yesterday when three rescue workers were killed and six were severely injured. This is the saddest story I’ve seen in awhile, but the one thing on my mind is, why the fuck are we still mining! Seriously, haven’t we come far enough along in technology where we have a method of getting energy that doesn’t involve black lung disease?
Okay, one last capitalist disaster story, Republican politicians are jumping ship in droves lest they have their collective asses handed to them in the 2008 election. Former House Speaker Dennis Hastert is retiring as is Mississippi Congressman Chip Pickering, and Ohio Congresswoman Deborah Pryce, who was at one time the 4th ranking GOP leader, has said she won’t run again. I think Deborah is wrong, at this point it seems all of the Republicans are running.
A 92-year-old man is being deported by the U.S. Justice Department as part of an investigation that discovered, Vladas Zajanckauskas, lied on his citizenship application about his whereabouts during World War II. Apparently he forgot to mention that he was part of the Nazi unit that took part in the liquidation of the Warsaw Ghetto. During that little operation, thousands were killed, beaten and raped, and 47,000 Jews were carted off to concentration camps. A few people said they felt sorry for the guy, but I caution to remember that only the good die young, evil bastards live to be old as fuck. I guess this is my second “Adios, Motherfucker” of the week.
President Bush’s hell-raising daughter Jenna is engaged to be married to former White House aid, Karl Rove intern, and future heartless capitalist, Henry Hager. Do you think they would be too insulted if I got them a gift certificate for a vasectomy for a wedding present? I just don’t think anything Bush should spawn; it’s not good for future generations.
In Local News
I went to Sacramento last weekend to work an event. It was very Idaho-like in nature, which made me glad that I was there a little over 24 hours and not much more than that. Aside from Arnold as the Governator, they really don’t have much going on up there.
My little dog lost a toenail this week, and we had to take him to the vet. They wrapped it in a soft cast, so now it looks like he’s wearing a yellow sock. I don’t care how educated, sophisticated, or what age you are, dogs wearing anything on their feet looks really funny.
Worthless Entertainment News
The 30th anniversary of Elvis Presley’s death was this week. To commemorate the occasion, many of his fans gathered at Graceland. I would have loved to have been there, not because I’m a huge Elvis nut, but the people watching would have been priceless! Someone should tell that 300 lb. trucker from Alabama that the Vegas Elvis haircut with the large, gold glasses is not something you do every day of the year, just on Halloween.
The pop world is in a huff, because Lily Allen canceled her U.S. tour. First off, her music isn’t all that, and is probably enhanced like crazy on the CD. Give your kid sister a karaoke machine, and it would be the same as seeing the actual show. Second, if Lily is canceling her tour, because she’s tired and drunk all the time then you don’t want to pay $50 to see her. I saw a far more talented Shelby Lynne perform once when she was tanked, she played for all of 30 minutes and was barely able to remember the lyrics. Thankfully, I didn’t have to pay for the show, or I would have been really pissed. If you want to see a really talented gal who does great music and has a unique personality, then do the smart thing, and catch Tori Amos on her upcoming tour.
Asshole(s) of the Week
Rudy Giuliani – Presidential candidate and New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani gave a rather pithy answer to a woman during a town hall meeting this week. She asked Giuliani why she should get behind him as a candidate if his own kids aren’t even on his side, to which the Giulster responded, “leave my family alone.” Sorry Rudy, but that’s not going to happen. You were fucking around on your former wife with your current wife, and you didn’t even talk to your daughter at her graduation. You also happened to be running for the party that has staked a claim to being the party that speaks for American family values, which means that you can’t treat your kids like shit, fuck around on your wife, and expect that no one is going to notice just because you showed up to the Towers on 9/11. Prior to 9/11 not too many New Yorkers even liked you, because you turned the city into a police state and tried to shuttle the homeless to other, poorer boroughs instead of helping them. For asking everyone to respect a family that you haven’t given respect to, and for basically running your entire campaign on what you did during that 24 hours of a national tragedy, Rudy Giuliani, you are the Asshole of the Week.
News sources everywhere are claiming that the majority of Americans will not be likely to trust the Iraq report due to be delivered by General David Petraeus in September. Gees, I’m not sure why that is, because the Administration has been so forthright and honest about the war in Iraq up to this point.
Speaking of capitalist driven disasters, efforts to rescue the miners trapped at the Crandall Canyon Mine came to a screeching halt yesterday when three rescue workers were killed and six were severely injured. This is the saddest story I’ve seen in awhile, but the one thing on my mind is, why the fuck are we still mining! Seriously, haven’t we come far enough along in technology where we have a method of getting energy that doesn’t involve black lung disease?
Okay, one last capitalist disaster story, Republican politicians are jumping ship in droves lest they have their collective asses handed to them in the 2008 election. Former House Speaker Dennis Hastert is retiring as is Mississippi Congressman Chip Pickering, and Ohio Congresswoman Deborah Pryce, who was at one time the 4th ranking GOP leader, has said she won’t run again. I think Deborah is wrong, at this point it seems all of the Republicans are running.
A 92-year-old man is being deported by the U.S. Justice Department as part of an investigation that discovered, Vladas Zajanckauskas, lied on his citizenship application about his whereabouts during World War II. Apparently he forgot to mention that he was part of the Nazi unit that took part in the liquidation of the Warsaw Ghetto. During that little operation, thousands were killed, beaten and raped, and 47,000 Jews were carted off to concentration camps. A few people said they felt sorry for the guy, but I caution to remember that only the good die young, evil bastards live to be old as fuck. I guess this is my second “Adios, Motherfucker” of the week.
President Bush’s hell-raising daughter Jenna is engaged to be married to former White House aid, Karl Rove intern, and future heartless capitalist, Henry Hager. Do you think they would be too insulted if I got them a gift certificate for a vasectomy for a wedding present? I just don’t think anything Bush should spawn; it’s not good for future generations.
In Local News
I went to Sacramento last weekend to work an event. It was very Idaho-like in nature, which made me glad that I was there a little over 24 hours and not much more than that. Aside from Arnold as the Governator, they really don’t have much going on up there.
My little dog lost a toenail this week, and we had to take him to the vet. They wrapped it in a soft cast, so now it looks like he’s wearing a yellow sock. I don’t care how educated, sophisticated, or what age you are, dogs wearing anything on their feet looks really funny.
Worthless Entertainment News
The 30th anniversary of Elvis Presley’s death was this week. To commemorate the occasion, many of his fans gathered at Graceland. I would have loved to have been there, not because I’m a huge Elvis nut, but the people watching would have been priceless! Someone should tell that 300 lb. trucker from Alabama that the Vegas Elvis haircut with the large, gold glasses is not something you do every day of the year, just on Halloween.
The pop world is in a huff, because Lily Allen canceled her U.S. tour. First off, her music isn’t all that, and is probably enhanced like crazy on the CD. Give your kid sister a karaoke machine, and it would be the same as seeing the actual show. Second, if Lily is canceling her tour, because she’s tired and drunk all the time then you don’t want to pay $50 to see her. I saw a far more talented Shelby Lynne perform once when she was tanked, she played for all of 30 minutes and was barely able to remember the lyrics. Thankfully, I didn’t have to pay for the show, or I would have been really pissed. If you want to see a really talented gal who does great music and has a unique personality, then do the smart thing, and catch Tori Amos on her upcoming tour.
Asshole(s) of the Week
Rudy Giuliani – Presidential candidate and New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani gave a rather pithy answer to a woman during a town hall meeting this week. She asked Giuliani why she should get behind him as a candidate if his own kids aren’t even on his side, to which the Giulster responded, “leave my family alone.” Sorry Rudy, but that’s not going to happen. You were fucking around on your former wife with your current wife, and you didn’t even talk to your daughter at her graduation. You also happened to be running for the party that has staked a claim to being the party that speaks for American family values, which means that you can’t treat your kids like shit, fuck around on your wife, and expect that no one is going to notice just because you showed up to the Towers on 9/11. Prior to 9/11 not too many New Yorkers even liked you, because you turned the city into a police state and tried to shuttle the homeless to other, poorer boroughs instead of helping them. For asking everyone to respect a family that you haven’t given respect to, and for basically running your entire campaign on what you did during that 24 hours of a national tragedy, Rudy Giuliani, you are the Asshole of the Week.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Adios, Motherfucker
So this is how it ends with the guy who coined the phrase “cut and run” cutting and running. Karl Rove, otherwise known as The Architect, or as I like to refer to him; the son of a bitch who is one of the major reasons why these past six years have been a living hell, resigned. Don’t get me wrong, this is great news. Of course assassination would have been ten times better, but in this age of protectionism, cronyism, and corporate-enabling, I’ll take what I can get.
What makes me sick right now is that I’ve seen glowing reviews of Rove’s career. Particularly how he took a spoiled, slightly retarded, boy prince and made him ruler of all the land. Only leftist blogs and news sources are talking about the little nuances such as placing national security in danger by outing a CIA agent for revenge, or lying to the American public to get us into a clusterfuck of a war that made the rest of the world hate us, polarized our country, and will end up costing us over a trillion dollars. We could have had healthcare or cleaned up after a few natural disasters, but instead we financed the murder of nearly 100,000 Iraqis, because good ol’ Karl was pulling the strings.
Not only is he responsible for the obvious things I have listed above, Rove also had a direct hand in stabbing his base in the back. He made Christians look like a bunch of fanatical idiots by using the “a vote for George is a vote for Jesus” ploy to win the last election. Christians all over the U.S. should be calling for Rove’s head! Prior to the 2004 election, Christians were seen as a diverse group in terms of the political landscape, but Rove played them like fiddles polarizing them to the Right, and fucking them in the end by doing everything that Jesus would never do if he was given the office. Last time I talked with a group of Christians, murdering, lying, swindling money, and profiting from the suffering of others weren’t Christian values.
Rove also was responsible for hijacking the Republican Party. My stepdad’s Republican Party was one that didn’t like to spend money and wanted an efficient government. They were tough on defense, but knew when to use it. They also didn’t give that much of a rat’s ass about social issues, because they believed government shouldn’t interfere too much in the lives of the people. The Rove Republicans are not the same as the Grand Old Party I grew up with in Idaho. I’m not saying that I support the old school Republicans, I don’t support either one of the major parties, but I did like some of the things they stood for. Now that Karl’s put his shoes outside the Republican doorstep, they can no longer say they stand for efficient government, because he oversaw the greatest government expansion in U.S. history. They can no longer school Democrats about being too spendy, because they’ve blown billions on a cause that will never benefit the people directly. The war won’t keep us safe at home, we won’t be able to pay for the war with the Iraqi oil, because private companies have already contracted the oil fields, and the most that we will ever see from this conflict are wounded, troubled, American soldiers who were thrown to the wolves by Rove & Co.
Now he gets to walk away scot-free in the middle of absolute chaos. The war is an unpopular mess with no good ending, the boy prince he made president is hated by his own people, our infrastructure is crumbling from six hard years of neglect, and the Department of Justice, one of the pillars of our supposed democracy, is the shambles. Funny, those mainstream publications seem to be leaving these miniscule details out of their Rove worship.
The sad thing is that he will likely trot off into the sunset completely unscathed by the mess he has had an enormous hand in creating. He claims he is resigning to ‘spend more time with his family’, which is the usual political bullshit line no one with half a brain believes. I’m wondering if his new cushy job will be with an oil company or a Halliburton war profiteering company. What scares me is the idea that he will take neither offer and instead begin looking for the next boy prince he can groom to the top. Hopefully, the next time Rove rears his ugly head, the American public will be smart enough to give him the collective finger. In the meantime, all I can say is “Adios, Motherfucker. If karma exists I hope you have the same retirement as Lee Atwater.”
What makes me sick right now is that I’ve seen glowing reviews of Rove’s career. Particularly how he took a spoiled, slightly retarded, boy prince and made him ruler of all the land. Only leftist blogs and news sources are talking about the little nuances such as placing national security in danger by outing a CIA agent for revenge, or lying to the American public to get us into a clusterfuck of a war that made the rest of the world hate us, polarized our country, and will end up costing us over a trillion dollars. We could have had healthcare or cleaned up after a few natural disasters, but instead we financed the murder of nearly 100,000 Iraqis, because good ol’ Karl was pulling the strings.
Not only is he responsible for the obvious things I have listed above, Rove also had a direct hand in stabbing his base in the back. He made Christians look like a bunch of fanatical idiots by using the “a vote for George is a vote for Jesus” ploy to win the last election. Christians all over the U.S. should be calling for Rove’s head! Prior to the 2004 election, Christians were seen as a diverse group in terms of the political landscape, but Rove played them like fiddles polarizing them to the Right, and fucking them in the end by doing everything that Jesus would never do if he was given the office. Last time I talked with a group of Christians, murdering, lying, swindling money, and profiting from the suffering of others weren’t Christian values.
Rove also was responsible for hijacking the Republican Party. My stepdad’s Republican Party was one that didn’t like to spend money and wanted an efficient government. They were tough on defense, but knew when to use it. They also didn’t give that much of a rat’s ass about social issues, because they believed government shouldn’t interfere too much in the lives of the people. The Rove Republicans are not the same as the Grand Old Party I grew up with in Idaho. I’m not saying that I support the old school Republicans, I don’t support either one of the major parties, but I did like some of the things they stood for. Now that Karl’s put his shoes outside the Republican doorstep, they can no longer say they stand for efficient government, because he oversaw the greatest government expansion in U.S. history. They can no longer school Democrats about being too spendy, because they’ve blown billions on a cause that will never benefit the people directly. The war won’t keep us safe at home, we won’t be able to pay for the war with the Iraqi oil, because private companies have already contracted the oil fields, and the most that we will ever see from this conflict are wounded, troubled, American soldiers who were thrown to the wolves by Rove & Co.
Now he gets to walk away scot-free in the middle of absolute chaos. The war is an unpopular mess with no good ending, the boy prince he made president is hated by his own people, our infrastructure is crumbling from six hard years of neglect, and the Department of Justice, one of the pillars of our supposed democracy, is the shambles. Funny, those mainstream publications seem to be leaving these miniscule details out of their Rove worship.
The sad thing is that he will likely trot off into the sunset completely unscathed by the mess he has had an enormous hand in creating. He claims he is resigning to ‘spend more time with his family’, which is the usual political bullshit line no one with half a brain believes. I’m wondering if his new cushy job will be with an oil company or a Halliburton war profiteering company. What scares me is the idea that he will take neither offer and instead begin looking for the next boy prince he can groom to the top. Hopefully, the next time Rove rears his ugly head, the American public will be smart enough to give him the collective finger. In the meantime, all I can say is “Adios, Motherfucker. If karma exists I hope you have the same retirement as Lee Atwater.”
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
In Pursuit of Real Privacy
Yesterday I was ready to stand on my soapbox and berate the Democrats for not blocking the expansion of the Bush Regime’s increase in warrantless wiretapping. Never fear Defenders of Freedom, I was going to kick the teeth of the Regime pretty hard as well. I was sitting at my work computer fleshing the writing out in my head when my co-worker’s 11-year-old daughter started talking about the gifts she received during her birthday party last weekend. Her favorite was a new webcam, and it was more significant, not only because she wanted it, but because it was her 5th webcam.
Us old farts in the office began balking at the idea of five webcams until the bright ‘tween talked about the fact that most of her friends have at least a dozen webcams, and one particular attention monger in her social circle has 42 including three portable webcams. Am I the only one who finds this a bit disturbing?
When I was this girl’s age, one of my favorite phrases was, ‘Mind your own business!’ I said it to nosy schoolmates, my mother, my siblings, and anyone else who stood outside my intimate circle of trust, or those who just annoyed the hell out of me. Privacy, to me, has always been about comfort zones. I started this blog to work through some stuff that was happening in my life, and because it was a lot more fun than weekly therapist visits. It was quite awhile before I began responding to comments, and even longer before I shared a picture of myself. I publish the real names of my immediate family, but keep co-workers, my place of employment, and other information on an alias-only basis. I have a firm grasp on how much privacy I am willing to give up.
What I’m wondering now, especially given our Reality TV obsessed society, is will the younger generation feel the same way? Will they be able to establish privacy boundaries that will allow them to be individuals, yet preserve a comfort zone of anonymity?
The most disturbing thought in all of this is that the government is using a Big Brother approach on a youth culture that is either unaware or doesn’t care. According to polls that I’ve seen, most reasonable people think it’s perfectly okay to tap a terror suspect’s phone and listen into their overseas conversations. With the recent expansion of warrantless wiretapping, the National Security Agency can now spy on emails, and has the privilege of listening into all citizens’ and non-citizens’ overseas conversations. One of my good friends has family in Israel, so that means the NSA will be privy to his weekly chats with Mom and Dad. This friend of mine also happens to be liberal in his thinking and doesn’t have too many kind words to say about the Bush Regime, does that mean he will eventually end up on the “No Fly List”?
At the heart of the issue is the fact that we are giving privacy away to anyone who wants to take a look without asking where our rights will be five years from now. We live in a culture that tells us every minute of the day that if we aren’t famous, we don’t matter. Our youth is constantly being reminded that education and realistic goals are secondary to being on TV, whether you have to humiliate yourself on a reality show, or sleep with half of Hollywood to be a tabloid queen, if you aren’t famous, you aren’t shit.
Perhaps I’m a bit too Orwellian , but my greatest fear is that one day soon we will come to a point where owning 42 webcams isn’t optional, having people watch our movements 24/7 won’t be up for discussion, and filters on email won’t be something that we control. How long before I’m put on the “No Fly List” for opposing this corrupt, corporately-owned government?
The solution in all this is to raise children with an awareness of what can happen when their privacy falls into the wrong hands. Orwell’s “1984” should be mandatory reading for everyone living in the United States. We should also begin flooding the blogosphere, emails, and phone conversations with our feelings, ideas and beliefs, particularly about the way our country is being run. They can catch a few of us free thinkers, but that can’t catch us all! Mostly, we should encourage journaling; pen to paper, hidden under the bed, never to be seen by anyone, and not to be published after our deaths. Getting active about privacy rights needs to happen immediately, because right now we can call ourselves the United States, but with the loss of these rights we are only a heartbeat away from becoming Oceania.
Us old farts in the office began balking at the idea of five webcams until the bright ‘tween talked about the fact that most of her friends have at least a dozen webcams, and one particular attention monger in her social circle has 42 including three portable webcams. Am I the only one who finds this a bit disturbing?
When I was this girl’s age, one of my favorite phrases was, ‘Mind your own business!’ I said it to nosy schoolmates, my mother, my siblings, and anyone else who stood outside my intimate circle of trust, or those who just annoyed the hell out of me. Privacy, to me, has always been about comfort zones. I started this blog to work through some stuff that was happening in my life, and because it was a lot more fun than weekly therapist visits. It was quite awhile before I began responding to comments, and even longer before I shared a picture of myself. I publish the real names of my immediate family, but keep co-workers, my place of employment, and other information on an alias-only basis. I have a firm grasp on how much privacy I am willing to give up.
What I’m wondering now, especially given our Reality TV obsessed society, is will the younger generation feel the same way? Will they be able to establish privacy boundaries that will allow them to be individuals, yet preserve a comfort zone of anonymity?
The most disturbing thought in all of this is that the government is using a Big Brother approach on a youth culture that is either unaware or doesn’t care. According to polls that I’ve seen, most reasonable people think it’s perfectly okay to tap a terror suspect’s phone and listen into their overseas conversations. With the recent expansion of warrantless wiretapping, the National Security Agency can now spy on emails, and has the privilege of listening into all citizens’ and non-citizens’ overseas conversations. One of my good friends has family in Israel, so that means the NSA will be privy to his weekly chats with Mom and Dad. This friend of mine also happens to be liberal in his thinking and doesn’t have too many kind words to say about the Bush Regime, does that mean he will eventually end up on the “No Fly List”?
At the heart of the issue is the fact that we are giving privacy away to anyone who wants to take a look without asking where our rights will be five years from now. We live in a culture that tells us every minute of the day that if we aren’t famous, we don’t matter. Our youth is constantly being reminded that education and realistic goals are secondary to being on TV, whether you have to humiliate yourself on a reality show, or sleep with half of Hollywood to be a tabloid queen, if you aren’t famous, you aren’t shit.
Perhaps I’m a bit too Orwellian , but my greatest fear is that one day soon we will come to a point where owning 42 webcams isn’t optional, having people watch our movements 24/7 won’t be up for discussion, and filters on email won’t be something that we control. How long before I’m put on the “No Fly List” for opposing this corrupt, corporately-owned government?
The solution in all this is to raise children with an awareness of what can happen when their privacy falls into the wrong hands. Orwell’s “1984” should be mandatory reading for everyone living in the United States. We should also begin flooding the blogosphere, emails, and phone conversations with our feelings, ideas and beliefs, particularly about the way our country is being run. They can catch a few of us free thinkers, but that can’t catch us all! Mostly, we should encourage journaling; pen to paper, hidden under the bed, never to be seen by anyone, and not to be published after our deaths. Getting active about privacy rights needs to happen immediately, because right now we can call ourselves the United States, but with the loss of these rights we are only a heartbeat away from becoming Oceania.
Saturday, August 04, 2007
Weekly Recap 7/29-8/4: Infrastructure Unrest & Where Have All the Bad Boys Gone
Headline News Recap
As the American public officially welcomed the $1 trillion mark for the War in Iraq (you know, the clusterfuck that was only supposed to last a few months and cost us a couple of billion), one of the major bridges in Minneapolis collapsed killing five people, while 30 are still listed as missing. This is what happens when our corporately owned politicians send all of our money overseas in an attempt to take ownership over the third largest oil reserve in the world instead of using our money to help us. Most of the bridges and highway systems in this country are in serious need of repair and rebuilding, so let's stop the fighting for one or two weeks in Iraq, and the money we save should be able to cover the road/highway/bridge repair bill.
What a shock! Just a week after Atlanta Falcons Player/Animal Abuser Michael Vick was busted for his involvement in an elaborate dogfighting operation, the whole race issue is coming into focus. Here's the deal: yes, people of color have been given a shit deal in this country, but animal cruelty is animal cruelty. For those of you who aren't quite familiar with dog fighting, and think maybe Vick's involvement isn't so bad, I challenge you to Google "dog fighting". It's bad, and I don't give a fuck if you are black, white, tan, purple or blue, if you have any part in it, you're a major asshole that deserves to do time, or be stripped naked, covered in bacon and put into a small room with the doggies you've trained to kill. In fact, now that I'm thinking about it, I like the later of the two punishments.
Congress claimed they were getting tough on big oil this week by slapping $16 billion in new taxes on the oil industry, and earmarking the money for conservation and renewable energy. Considering the fact that BP alone took in $6.1 billion in profits last quarter (yep, 3 short months) $16 billion spread over the industry is basically an ant fart, but at least those worthless bastards in D.C. are attempting to look like they are getting off their dead asses to do something.
A sweet, Mexican lady in Los Angeles went into a frenzy this week claiming she was watering her tree and saw the face of Jesus on the trunk. You know, it's kind of hard to say that stereotypes aren't accurate when Mexican women keep claiming they see Jesus on trees, and in tortillas, and in candles, and just about anywhere else that a being who goes by the name "the almighty" wouldn't be likely to appear. Besides, I thought Jesus was appearing in a tree trunk near St. Michael's church in Memphis, Tennessee. Is this some kind of a tour, like when The Eagles did the "Hell Freezes Over Tour" in the early '90s?
In Local News
I am happily unpacking boxes now that we are finally in our own place. Aside from living in a cardboard jungle and dealing with a bit of an ant issue, Jeff and I are thrilled that we no longer have to feel like giggly teenagers when we want to have some good ol' fashioned husband and wife time. It's funny at first, but after a few minutes, it's just weird and creepy.
The most pathetic part of living in my new house is realizing that I have three times the distance to work as I had in Seattle, but I get there 5-10 minutes quicker. To all of my former neighbors in King County, they are not spending your tax dollars (which are also more significant than California) on infrastructure, they are lining their pockets. You all need to do something about it, because in the time it takes to move three car lengths on the 405, you can email your local politician to tell them they suck ass, and you need more roads.
Worthless Entertainment News
Lindsay Lohan is in rehab again. Nicole Ritchie is pregnant and due to report to prison by the end of the month. Britney went for Mom of the Year again and took her kids to Vegas without her ex-husband's permission. Paris Hilton didn't do shit, but the entertainment media yammered on about her anyways. What I'm wondering at this point is, how come we never hear about any reckless Hollywood males? There must be a few bad boys in the world of entertainment who are raising hell, but the media seems to endlessly obsess on these self-destruction divas whose stories are all the same, and it's downright boring. See, this is what happens when hard rock goes all emo. The rockstars are too busy whining about their feelings, and they forget that their role is to do crazy shit and make us wish that we could live in their bizzaro utopia for awhile. Give me the good ol' Guns 'n' Roses, Metallica, even Rolling Stones days when boys were bad, and their lives made for some great worthless entertainment news.
Asshole(s) of the Week
Achievement Obsessed Parents - Sports media was all abuzz this week over Jan Silva. Jan is an adorable 5-year-old with amazing tennis skills. This little guy's serve is the thing dreams are made of, and if he doesn't sustain one of those annoying playground injuries, he should have a bright career in tennis. The part of the story that rubbed me wrong was that his parents are moving the family to France to develop his skills. Once again, he's five. With this story in the back of my head, we got together with the family and saw my niece do a children's theater production on Saturday afternoon. During intermission one of the louder moms behind me was talking about what a genius her kid was, because he stayed in character the whole time. Okay, the production was "Oliver" and her kid was in the ensemble where all of the kids had to act like depressed, detatched orphans. How hard was this! Being in the ensemble sucks, because you are basically living scenery, and you have to sit there for two hours and watch the set designer's kid do a shit job in the lead. My point in all of this is that as a parent, I want my little one to be the best that she can be, but I am not pushing her to be great at anything. All of these parents who are so obsessed with achievement, and trying so hard to make their kids some sort of prodigy are basically telling them, through actions, that nothing they do is good enough or will ever be good enough. I know, because my mom was like that. Your kid will end up finding something they shine at, but it's not going to come from you, it's going to come from them. You can be supportive and cheer at their games/matches/tournaments, and drive them all over hell and back for their lessons, but in the end, they will follow their own dreams, whether you like those dreams or not. So, when I think about that mother trying to talk up her ensemble boy like he was the next Johnny Depp, it makes me want to puke, and that's why Achievement Obsessed Parents, you are the Asshole(s) of the Week.
As the American public officially welcomed the $1 trillion mark for the War in Iraq (you know, the clusterfuck that was only supposed to last a few months and cost us a couple of billion), one of the major bridges in Minneapolis collapsed killing five people, while 30 are still listed as missing. This is what happens when our corporately owned politicians send all of our money overseas in an attempt to take ownership over the third largest oil reserve in the world instead of using our money to help us. Most of the bridges and highway systems in this country are in serious need of repair and rebuilding, so let's stop the fighting for one or two weeks in Iraq, and the money we save should be able to cover the road/highway/bridge repair bill.
What a shock! Just a week after Atlanta Falcons Player/Animal Abuser Michael Vick was busted for his involvement in an elaborate dogfighting operation, the whole race issue is coming into focus. Here's the deal: yes, people of color have been given a shit deal in this country, but animal cruelty is animal cruelty. For those of you who aren't quite familiar with dog fighting, and think maybe Vick's involvement isn't so bad, I challenge you to Google "dog fighting". It's bad, and I don't give a fuck if you are black, white, tan, purple or blue, if you have any part in it, you're a major asshole that deserves to do time, or be stripped naked, covered in bacon and put into a small room with the doggies you've trained to kill. In fact, now that I'm thinking about it, I like the later of the two punishments.
Congress claimed they were getting tough on big oil this week by slapping $16 billion in new taxes on the oil industry, and earmarking the money for conservation and renewable energy. Considering the fact that BP alone took in $6.1 billion in profits last quarter (yep, 3 short months) $16 billion spread over the industry is basically an ant fart, but at least those worthless bastards in D.C. are attempting to look like they are getting off their dead asses to do something.
A sweet, Mexican lady in Los Angeles went into a frenzy this week claiming she was watering her tree and saw the face of Jesus on the trunk. You know, it's kind of hard to say that stereotypes aren't accurate when Mexican women keep claiming they see Jesus on trees, and in tortillas, and in candles, and just about anywhere else that a being who goes by the name "the almighty" wouldn't be likely to appear. Besides, I thought Jesus was appearing in a tree trunk near St. Michael's church in Memphis, Tennessee. Is this some kind of a tour, like when The Eagles did the "Hell Freezes Over Tour" in the early '90s?
In Local News
I am happily unpacking boxes now that we are finally in our own place. Aside from living in a cardboard jungle and dealing with a bit of an ant issue, Jeff and I are thrilled that we no longer have to feel like giggly teenagers when we want to have some good ol' fashioned husband and wife time. It's funny at first, but after a few minutes, it's just weird and creepy.
The most pathetic part of living in my new house is realizing that I have three times the distance to work as I had in Seattle, but I get there 5-10 minutes quicker. To all of my former neighbors in King County, they are not spending your tax dollars (which are also more significant than California) on infrastructure, they are lining their pockets. You all need to do something about it, because in the time it takes to move three car lengths on the 405, you can email your local politician to tell them they suck ass, and you need more roads.
Worthless Entertainment News
Lindsay Lohan is in rehab again. Nicole Ritchie is pregnant and due to report to prison by the end of the month. Britney went for Mom of the Year again and took her kids to Vegas without her ex-husband's permission. Paris Hilton didn't do shit, but the entertainment media yammered on about her anyways. What I'm wondering at this point is, how come we never hear about any reckless Hollywood males? There must be a few bad boys in the world of entertainment who are raising hell, but the media seems to endlessly obsess on these self-destruction divas whose stories are all the same, and it's downright boring. See, this is what happens when hard rock goes all emo. The rockstars are too busy whining about their feelings, and they forget that their role is to do crazy shit and make us wish that we could live in their bizzaro utopia for awhile. Give me the good ol' Guns 'n' Roses, Metallica, even Rolling Stones days when boys were bad, and their lives made for some great worthless entertainment news.
Asshole(s) of the Week
Achievement Obsessed Parents - Sports media was all abuzz this week over Jan Silva. Jan is an adorable 5-year-old with amazing tennis skills. This little guy's serve is the thing dreams are made of, and if he doesn't sustain one of those annoying playground injuries, he should have a bright career in tennis. The part of the story that rubbed me wrong was that his parents are moving the family to France to develop his skills. Once again, he's five. With this story in the back of my head, we got together with the family and saw my niece do a children's theater production on Saturday afternoon. During intermission one of the louder moms behind me was talking about what a genius her kid was, because he stayed in character the whole time. Okay, the production was "Oliver" and her kid was in the ensemble where all of the kids had to act like depressed, detatched orphans. How hard was this! Being in the ensemble sucks, because you are basically living scenery, and you have to sit there for two hours and watch the set designer's kid do a shit job in the lead. My point in all of this is that as a parent, I want my little one to be the best that she can be, but I am not pushing her to be great at anything. All of these parents who are so obsessed with achievement, and trying so hard to make their kids some sort of prodigy are basically telling them, through actions, that nothing they do is good enough or will ever be good enough. I know, because my mom was like that. Your kid will end up finding something they shine at, but it's not going to come from you, it's going to come from them. You can be supportive and cheer at their games/matches/tournaments, and drive them all over hell and back for their lessons, but in the end, they will follow their own dreams, whether you like those dreams or not. So, when I think about that mother trying to talk up her ensemble boy like he was the next Johnny Depp, it makes me want to puke, and that's why Achievement Obsessed Parents, you are the Asshole(s) of the Week.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Weekly Recap 7/22-28: Dope Cyclists & Save Lindsay
Headline News Recap
When did professional cyclists start ranking right up there with professional wrestlers when it came to doping? This week, Tour de France leader, Michael Rasmussen was removed when it was discovered that he failed to show up for the mandatory drug testing, which he later failed after doing a blood transfusion containing a banned substance. Wasn’t easier when they just used to drink Gatorade?
Republicans in the House and Senate are opposing a bill that would expand the Children’s Health Insurance Program covering an addition 5 million children who don’t have health insurance. The Democratic proposal calls for an increase in tobacco taxes and cuts in subsidies to private health insurance plans to pay for medical care for poor children. Those GOP bastards just get more and cuddlier by the day. They are denying health care coverage to kids just to block a bill proposed by Democrats. Way fucking pathetic, GOP, way fucking pathetic!
In news of the blatantly obvious, a scientific study proves that obesity can be social meaning that if your family is fat, and your friends are fat, then your ass isn’t likely to be all that small. Well, duh! What the study did leave out is the fact that hanging with fat friends and family tends to be way more fun, because think about it, would you rather spend your afternoon doing some shopping then hitting the Cheesecake Factory for lunch, or going for an hour-long power walk then finishing it off with a salad. Yep, 20 lbs. over is better than 20 lbs. under, no matter what those scientists say. By the way, have they come up with a cure for blindness yet?
The Democratic candidates squared off again for a CNN YouTube debate this week. All of them committed to working for minimum wage if they are elected president, which at this point seems ridiculous given the fact that the majority of them are millionaires. Filmmaker Michael Moore suggested, publicly, that they should all forfeit their government-funded healthcare while president until they ensure that all Americans have healthcare, but how much living like real people could these candidates take? Next thing you know, they will be expected to drive their own cars, fix their own meals, and live in a tiny 3,000 sq.ft. home.
In Local News
I’m doing the Recap early, so that I can sit in stop-and-go traffic for two hours from Orange County to Los Angeles to catch a flight back to Seattle to sign the final paperwork for the closing of our house. The bad news is that it will really take two hours for me to go 40 miles, the good news is that we get to stop squatting at the in-laws’ and move into our new place the middle of next week! Don’t get me wrong, the in-laws have been amazing and so accommodating, but if Grandma continues “rescuing” Rachael from Mommy’s discipline, then the little one is going to turn into one fierce spoiled brat, at which time I would theoretically send her to live with Grandma on a permanent basis, and neither of us wants that.
Worthless Entertainment News
An A-List party hosted by Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes along with Will and Jada Pinkett-Smith was thrown this week to welcome David and Victoria Beckham to Hollywood. Yeah, right. How soon after “How do you like the States?” did it take before all four of them started pushing that Scientology bullshit? My bet is on 7 minutes. This almost made me feel sorry for the Beckhams, because I’ve been to events that I thought were socials and turned out to be sales pitches.
Lindsay Lohan was busted; once again, for driving under the influence, only this time she also had a convictable amount of cocaine with her (which she has claimed wasn’t hers). All I’ve seen on TV following her arrest is how Hollywood and the general public should get on the bandwagon to “save” Lindsay. I have big issues with this. First off, we live in a country that basically doesn’t give a fuck about addiction. Insurance companies fight tooth and nail against providing benefits for alcohol and drug programs, and our own government passes laws that sound really good (i.e. Just Say No), but basically do little to address the issues and solutions surrounding addiction. Lindsay has been through very expensive, high quality rehab facilities, and is screwing up her life, but is still accepted with open arms, because she’s a celebrity. Sorry, Larry King, but before I work to “save” Lindsay, I’m going to put my energy into saving the millions of other troubled Americans who are turning to addiction to relieve the pain of living in the pop culture cesspool you and your ilk thrive in.
Asshole(s) of the Week
A good idea tends to spread, and my Asshole(s) of the Week has spread to The Huffington Post. However, the name of Paul Krassner appears in the byline, instead of yours truly. Coincidence? I’m suspecting not, since I’ve been doing Asshole(s) of the Week far longer than Mr. Krassner. At least the bright side is that along with lifting my cool title, he is also criticizing the same folks I would target. If Asshole(s) of the Week had appeared on some neocon blog, I would be pursuing legal action. Now onto the ORIGINAL Asshole(s) of the Week.
Roy Den Hollander – This attorney is on a crusade to ban “Ladies Night” from bars claiming that the popular bar promotion is unconstitutional because it gives women a reduced admission and better drink pricing than men. I guess Mr. Hollander hasn’t been out in awhile, because the other thing that Ladies Night does is encourages women to patronize a particular club, which brings in the guys. After all, what guy out on the town wants to hang out at a club that is all guys? Women in the U.S. are still paid only 76 cents on the dollar that every man is paid, and single women with children can expect to bring in only 54 cents for every dollar a man makes. Women also get charged more by dry cleaners, auto mechanics, insurance companies, and other businesses. On Ladies Night a gal can get a Cosmopolitan for $5.50 instead of $8.50, yet this is the issue Roy wastes his time pissing and moaning about? For attacking the one institution that still gives women a price break, and for being a cheap bastard in general, Roy Den Hollander, you are the Asshole of the Week.
When did professional cyclists start ranking right up there with professional wrestlers when it came to doping? This week, Tour de France leader, Michael Rasmussen was removed when it was discovered that he failed to show up for the mandatory drug testing, which he later failed after doing a blood transfusion containing a banned substance. Wasn’t easier when they just used to drink Gatorade?
Republicans in the House and Senate are opposing a bill that would expand the Children’s Health Insurance Program covering an addition 5 million children who don’t have health insurance. The Democratic proposal calls for an increase in tobacco taxes and cuts in subsidies to private health insurance plans to pay for medical care for poor children. Those GOP bastards just get more and cuddlier by the day. They are denying health care coverage to kids just to block a bill proposed by Democrats. Way fucking pathetic, GOP, way fucking pathetic!
In news of the blatantly obvious, a scientific study proves that obesity can be social meaning that if your family is fat, and your friends are fat, then your ass isn’t likely to be all that small. Well, duh! What the study did leave out is the fact that hanging with fat friends and family tends to be way more fun, because think about it, would you rather spend your afternoon doing some shopping then hitting the Cheesecake Factory for lunch, or going for an hour-long power walk then finishing it off with a salad. Yep, 20 lbs. over is better than 20 lbs. under, no matter what those scientists say. By the way, have they come up with a cure for blindness yet?
The Democratic candidates squared off again for a CNN YouTube debate this week. All of them committed to working for minimum wage if they are elected president, which at this point seems ridiculous given the fact that the majority of them are millionaires. Filmmaker Michael Moore suggested, publicly, that they should all forfeit their government-funded healthcare while president until they ensure that all Americans have healthcare, but how much living like real people could these candidates take? Next thing you know, they will be expected to drive their own cars, fix their own meals, and live in a tiny 3,000 sq.ft. home.
In Local News
I’m doing the Recap early, so that I can sit in stop-and-go traffic for two hours from Orange County to Los Angeles to catch a flight back to Seattle to sign the final paperwork for the closing of our house. The bad news is that it will really take two hours for me to go 40 miles, the good news is that we get to stop squatting at the in-laws’ and move into our new place the middle of next week! Don’t get me wrong, the in-laws have been amazing and so accommodating, but if Grandma continues “rescuing” Rachael from Mommy’s discipline, then the little one is going to turn into one fierce spoiled brat, at which time I would theoretically send her to live with Grandma on a permanent basis, and neither of us wants that.
Worthless Entertainment News
An A-List party hosted by Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes along with Will and Jada Pinkett-Smith was thrown this week to welcome David and Victoria Beckham to Hollywood. Yeah, right. How soon after “How do you like the States?” did it take before all four of them started pushing that Scientology bullshit? My bet is on 7 minutes. This almost made me feel sorry for the Beckhams, because I’ve been to events that I thought were socials and turned out to be sales pitches.
Lindsay Lohan was busted; once again, for driving under the influence, only this time she also had a convictable amount of cocaine with her (which she has claimed wasn’t hers). All I’ve seen on TV following her arrest is how Hollywood and the general public should get on the bandwagon to “save” Lindsay. I have big issues with this. First off, we live in a country that basically doesn’t give a fuck about addiction. Insurance companies fight tooth and nail against providing benefits for alcohol and drug programs, and our own government passes laws that sound really good (i.e. Just Say No), but basically do little to address the issues and solutions surrounding addiction. Lindsay has been through very expensive, high quality rehab facilities, and is screwing up her life, but is still accepted with open arms, because she’s a celebrity. Sorry, Larry King, but before I work to “save” Lindsay, I’m going to put my energy into saving the millions of other troubled Americans who are turning to addiction to relieve the pain of living in the pop culture cesspool you and your ilk thrive in.
Asshole(s) of the Week
A good idea tends to spread, and my Asshole(s) of the Week has spread to The Huffington Post. However, the name of Paul Krassner appears in the byline, instead of yours truly. Coincidence? I’m suspecting not, since I’ve been doing Asshole(s) of the Week far longer than Mr. Krassner. At least the bright side is that along with lifting my cool title, he is also criticizing the same folks I would target. If Asshole(s) of the Week had appeared on some neocon blog, I would be pursuing legal action. Now onto the ORIGINAL Asshole(s) of the Week.
Roy Den Hollander – This attorney is on a crusade to ban “Ladies Night” from bars claiming that the popular bar promotion is unconstitutional because it gives women a reduced admission and better drink pricing than men. I guess Mr. Hollander hasn’t been out in awhile, because the other thing that Ladies Night does is encourages women to patronize a particular club, which brings in the guys. After all, what guy out on the town wants to hang out at a club that is all guys? Women in the U.S. are still paid only 76 cents on the dollar that every man is paid, and single women with children can expect to bring in only 54 cents for every dollar a man makes. Women also get charged more by dry cleaners, auto mechanics, insurance companies, and other businesses. On Ladies Night a gal can get a Cosmopolitan for $5.50 instead of $8.50, yet this is the issue Roy wastes his time pissing and moaning about? For attacking the one institution that still gives women a price break, and for being a cheap bastard in general, Roy Den Hollander, you are the Asshole of the Week.
Monday, July 23, 2007
Making Peace with My Matronly Upper Arms
I’ve battled weight issues for over 20 years. From anorexia and extreme dieting to binge eating due to depression, there aren’t too many diets in the world that I haven’t tried. I have spent my life comparing myself to others, with a constant reel-to-reel going off in the back of my head that tells me I don’t look good enough. One of my most self-conscious body parts have been my upper arms.
I started out with twiggy upper arms as a young teen, and then as I got a little curvy in my later teens and early 20s I got into body building. My upper arms were awesome when I was doing multiple reps of various toning routines with 25 lb. dumbbells. They were toned, rock hard, and always one of my best qualities. Unfortunately, a more rigorous college course schedule during the beginning of my junior year, along with the onset of what would be a 5-year bout of severe depression took my life from body builder to couch potato, and my arms from brick to marshmallow.
I came out of my depression and immediately lost weight, but the damage to my upper arms was done. They were now matronly, and no matter how much weight I would lose, they would never return to being the slender twiggy arms I once had. I have spent the last ten years covering my upper arms with everything from sleeves to shawls. I would never even entertain the idea of walking out of the house in a tank top sans jacket, or some other appropriate upper arm cover. My upper arms were an embarrassment, a symbol of that awful time in my life were I let myself go, they were a part of my body that was to never see the light of day, until my recent move to California.
Southern California is hot, and I got here in June. I had packed a cache of summer sweaters, which are very popular in the Northwest. It can be a very warm summer day, but once the sun goes down, you might need a little something to keep you from shivering. Summer sweaters make sense there, but down here people looked at me like I had a third eye when I talked about them.
At the end of June, I ventured out shopping at my favorite clothing store, and took a long, hard look at the sleeveless shirts. They were nice and stylish, so I decided to be daring and tried one on. It fit well, but the moment I saw my pasty, white, matronly, upper arms I ripped the shirt off, and darted back to the sales floor looking for something with sleeves. A couple of weeks went by, the temperature went up, and I decided to go back to my favorite store and try again. The second round in the dressing room with the sleeveless shirts weren’t as bad, but I didn’t buy them. I opted to walk around a bit hoping that I would find something else with sleeves, but as I paced the mall I noticed other women, who were my size, going sleeveless. Perhaps years of the self-loathing along with the back-of-the-head negativity soundtrack had blown this upper arm thing way out of proportion. Maybe I was the only one who really noticed that my upper arms weren’t up to par.
I went back to my store and purchased two of the sleeveless shirts, and I’ve been wearing them ever since. They are definitely a nice garment for a typical Southern California summer day, and this whole upper arm issue has forced me to re-consider my self-image completely. How odd is it that in the Mecca of body-obsession that is Southern California, I have finally overcome my weight issues?
For the past two weeks I haven’t once looked in the mirror and thought something bad about myself, and that is amazing. Even as an anorexic 16-year-old I didn’t have a kind word to say to myself, but now it’s all gone. Don’t get me wrong, I can’t wait until my elliptical trainer arrives with my furniture, but my motives for getting on that bad boy have shifted from wanting to look perfect to having the desire to live into my elder years without the aid of a wheelchair or medication.
I have finally, after over 20 years, come to grips with what I look like, and I’ve discovered that I have a really great head of hair, I’ve got a pretty face, I look good in black, metro cut slacks and garments that accentuate my small waist, and that I can rock a sleeveless shirt just as well as the next suburb punk mama (minus the cool tattoo, of course).
I started out with twiggy upper arms as a young teen, and then as I got a little curvy in my later teens and early 20s I got into body building. My upper arms were awesome when I was doing multiple reps of various toning routines with 25 lb. dumbbells. They were toned, rock hard, and always one of my best qualities. Unfortunately, a more rigorous college course schedule during the beginning of my junior year, along with the onset of what would be a 5-year bout of severe depression took my life from body builder to couch potato, and my arms from brick to marshmallow.
I came out of my depression and immediately lost weight, but the damage to my upper arms was done. They were now matronly, and no matter how much weight I would lose, they would never return to being the slender twiggy arms I once had. I have spent the last ten years covering my upper arms with everything from sleeves to shawls. I would never even entertain the idea of walking out of the house in a tank top sans jacket, or some other appropriate upper arm cover. My upper arms were an embarrassment, a symbol of that awful time in my life were I let myself go, they were a part of my body that was to never see the light of day, until my recent move to California.
Southern California is hot, and I got here in June. I had packed a cache of summer sweaters, which are very popular in the Northwest. It can be a very warm summer day, but once the sun goes down, you might need a little something to keep you from shivering. Summer sweaters make sense there, but down here people looked at me like I had a third eye when I talked about them.
At the end of June, I ventured out shopping at my favorite clothing store, and took a long, hard look at the sleeveless shirts. They were nice and stylish, so I decided to be daring and tried one on. It fit well, but the moment I saw my pasty, white, matronly, upper arms I ripped the shirt off, and darted back to the sales floor looking for something with sleeves. A couple of weeks went by, the temperature went up, and I decided to go back to my favorite store and try again. The second round in the dressing room with the sleeveless shirts weren’t as bad, but I didn’t buy them. I opted to walk around a bit hoping that I would find something else with sleeves, but as I paced the mall I noticed other women, who were my size, going sleeveless. Perhaps years of the self-loathing along with the back-of-the-head negativity soundtrack had blown this upper arm thing way out of proportion. Maybe I was the only one who really noticed that my upper arms weren’t up to par.
I went back to my store and purchased two of the sleeveless shirts, and I’ve been wearing them ever since. They are definitely a nice garment for a typical Southern California summer day, and this whole upper arm issue has forced me to re-consider my self-image completely. How odd is it that in the Mecca of body-obsession that is Southern California, I have finally overcome my weight issues?
For the past two weeks I haven’t once looked in the mirror and thought something bad about myself, and that is amazing. Even as an anorexic 16-year-old I didn’t have a kind word to say to myself, but now it’s all gone. Don’t get me wrong, I can’t wait until my elliptical trainer arrives with my furniture, but my motives for getting on that bad boy have shifted from wanting to look perfect to having the desire to live into my elder years without the aid of a wheelchair or medication.
I have finally, after over 20 years, come to grips with what I look like, and I’ve discovered that I have a really great head of hair, I’ve got a pretty face, I look good in black, metro cut slacks and garments that accentuate my small waist, and that I can rock a sleeveless shirt just as well as the next suburb punk mama (minus the cool tattoo, of course).
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