Fascism by Any Other Name...

It seems very ironic as of late that in their absolute power rule over this country, the Grand Ol' Party (i.e. neocon bastards) has begun using the buzzword "fascists" to describe extremist Islamic groups hell bent on killing Americans. This is the worst case of the pot calling the kettle black that I have seen since Lindsay Lohan accused Tara Reid of partying too much. The first time I heard Resident Bush refer to the Iranian president as the head of an "Islamic fascist" government, I was perplexed, because I knew at that very moment on Iranian television, that president was probably referring to Bushie as the head of an "American fascist" government. The thing that troubles me is that both of these mindless wonders are correct.

After studying the Hitler, Mussolini, Suharto, Franco, and Pinochet governments, Dr. Laurence Britt, a noted political scientist, wrote an article on fascism in which he identified 14 defining common characteristics. The scary thing is that the tactics used by Islamic extremists and the GOP fit into Dr. Britt's 14 points with terrifying equality.

1. Powerful and Continuing Expressions of Nationalism - The news (especially Fox News) can't show us Americans enough footage of the Iranian president, the leader of Hezbollah, and other Islamic wingnuts going off Hitler-style in front of a crowd of screaming minions. On the flip side, images of the Towers smoking in their first few minutes of destruction have almost become a "must have" for any neocon website, and most right-wing radio stations have taken to playing the National Anthem every hour on the hour, and several will be broadcasting their morning show from Ground Zero on September 11th. Talk about whoring a national tragedy.

2. Disdain for the Importance of Human Rights - Islamic extremists will gladly trade human life for 72 virgins in heaven and martyred glory. American neocons will gladly trade human life for millions of dollars in oil revenue and no-bid rebuilding contracts.

3. Identification of Enemies/Scapegoats as a Unifying Cause - Without the words “Israel” and “Liberals” the fascists on both sides would be rendered mute, which would be a blessing. Think about it, the leader of Hamas duct taped to the same chair as Ann Coulter, both wearing S&M ball gags. It's a beautiful thought.

4. The Supremacy of the Military/Avid Militarism - This is such a disturbing aspect to me, because both groups are willing to let the welfare of their people suffer in order to arm. Look what Hezbollah did to Lebanon, and the U.S. is no better. We have spent $300 billion in the war with Iraq, but have to listen to the right-wing drone on and on about why our citizens don’t deserve some sort of national healthcare system.

5. Rampant Sexism - Headscarves, female circumcision, inability to divorce, yeah, even the mainstream Muslims have explaining to do on this one. In the U.S. we get the polar opposite; we have convinced young women that taking control of their sexuality means slutting it up and hanging it out whenever and where ever you can, while at the same time passing laws that restrict reproductive rights and access to contraceptives. Isn't it sad that the Taliban is more straight-forward on their extremist sexist attitudes then we are!

6. A Controlled Mass Media - Between Al Jazeera and Rupert Murdoch we're all fucked on this one.

7. Obsession with National Security - It's only a matter of time before they ask you to turn your head and cough before boarding a flight. By the way, are we still on red alert or is it orange this week? Not so quick Islamic extremists, when was the last time you let a journalist stroll through your streets without giving a guided tour at gunpoint? That's what I thought.

8. Religion and Ruling Elite Tied Together - When you can use the excuse, "because G-d said so" to explain your way out of killing your enemy and starving your own people, then G-d is the last thing on your mind. Religion and government should stay as far away from each other as Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie at an “All You Can Eat” buffet.

9. Power of Corporations Protected – Osama bin Laden constantly rips on Western culture as evil, yet he doesn’t mind cashing the check for interest money paid from U.S. and European investments. Without the abundance of corporate oil money, Islamic extremists would be relegated to throwing rocks off the backs of fast moving camels. Fortunately, even Islamic extremist governments know the value of corporate investment, and protect it well. In the U.S., we've totally sold our democracy out on this one. Our country is owned by a string of corporations all of which have purchased our government bit by bit to the point where there is very little lawmaking that will not benefit a corporation in some way.

10. Power of Labor Suppressed or Eliminated - Although every political candidate wants the blessing of the AFL-CIO at this point, it's just a publicity stunt. Corporations have moved so many jobs overseas, and with the popularity of the "right to work" laws passing in most states during the Reaganomics Era the workforce's ability to play a major role in influencing the power structure no longer exists. On the other side of the world, the Islamic extremist governments have such tight controls on their population that any rallies not sanctioned by the ruling powers are quashed including worker demonstrations.

11. Disdain and Suppression of Intellectuals and the Arts - Have you seen the latest budget for the National Endowment of the Arts? It's disappearing quicker than the funds for music and art programs in public schools. The only thing vanishing at a more rapid pace than the art ed. money in the U.S. is the guy who drew those Prophet Mohammed cartoons for that paper in Denmark. By the way, is Salman Rushdie's phone number still unlisted?

12. Obsession with Crime and Punishment - In Iran they use a knife to cut off your hand for stealing, in the U.S. they splash your face all over the media so that when you are released you have to go under the knife and get plastic surgery in order to resume your life.

13. Rampant Cronyism and Corruption - Without cronyism would Bush even have an administration? Without corruption would the Hamas or Saudi governments be able to operate?

14. Fraudulent Elections - I'm still drinking Pepto every time the memory of the 2000 election comes to mind. Oy Vey! It's funny to me that the president who is so hell bent on spreading democracy in the Middle East is the same guy who completely usurped our own democracy in his rise to power. As for the Islamic extremist elections, when you automatically nix more than half of your population's right to vote (i.e. women) then your election is fraudulent from the get go.

If I were the neocons the first thing I'd do is seriously consider suicide as a favor to society, but beyond that, I'd maybe rethink the whole idea of throwing around the term "fascism". When there are this many obvious connections in our own government, then we can't condemn others for employing the same tactics. No one is automatically evil, because they don't like the U.S. and good, because they do. Stalin was our ally during World War II and while he was smiling at President Truman in leadership meetings, his thugs were participating in the systematic murder of 20 million Russians.

Choosing your friends and knowing your enemies on the political world stage is never easy, but calling into question someone else's housekeeping abilities while your own place looks like a pigsty is just plain hypocritical.