Observations of the Odd

The one positive thing that comes out of having a brain that doesn’t think like those people who are “normal” by society’s standards are the observations I get to make on a regular basis about this so-called “normal” society.

Speaking of society at large, do you think anyone in their right mind is fooled by the lower gas prices? Gas went from $2.89 per gallon down to $2.57 nearly overnight. With the war in Iraq looking like more of a disaster than ever, why would gas prices be lower…hmmm….oh yeah, the upcoming elections. Just in time to cast your vote, the neocon regime is going to make sure you can at least afford to drive your sorry ass to the polls. The sick, sad thing is that some ignorant-assed rednecks are really going to be duped into believing that the economy is looking up, and that gas prices will remain low. They will get in their doublewide Ford or Chevy, cast their vote for W’s party, then within two weeks (if W’s party can capitalize on the 9/11 fear well enough to get re-elected), those gas prices will be back up to a cozy $2.89 per gallon. Of course, the halfwit will be completely confused, yet still remain loyal. Can we do a draft for the Iraq war based on I.Q., because it’s time to do some trimming of the herd particularly in Middle America?

Since we’re on the topic of idiots, Paris Hilton’s album was a complete flop, and the infotainment media seems to be shocked by this. Why! The woman can’t act, write, dance, and doesn’t have a personality, why on Earth did they think she could sing? She did manage to sell 275,000 copies of her CD, so I guess all of the Hilton Hotel employees know what they’re getting along side that Christmas bonus this year. Do you think her parents got some sort of a quantity discount for ordering all those discs?

In regards to target marketing, have you ever noticed that most advertising makes ridiculous assumptions, but when they get it right, they are dead on? Jeff and I were watching a made-for-television movie the other night about Judy Garland (hey, there was absolutely nothing on, and I always liked The Wizard of Oz). The advertisers divided this movie’s audience into two camps: gay males and the elderly. Every ad that ran during the four hour melodrama was either for a power mobility chair, a medic alert device, or the Guys Gone Wild videos, I shit you not. I was almost tempted to call the Guys Gone Wild 1-800 number just to ask how many DVDs they sold from the time Dorothy clicked her heels together until she killed herself taking an assload of sleeping pills. My husband and I didn’t fall into either category, but we sure enjoyed laughing at the ads.

On the topic of gay men, have you ever noticed that the people who are anti-gay talk about gay sex more than gay people do? Senator Rick Santorum has made an entire career out of trying to outlaw every form of homosexual intimacy there is, which makes me wonder how many hours he put in thinking up all the ways gays are intimate. How much time do you think he spend trolling the internet to “research” gay sex? It’s kind of creepy if you think about it. Like I said, I don’t know too many gay people who think about gay sex as much as some of these hatemongering neocons.

Speaking of hatemongering, can someone please dissolve PETA soon? People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals used to be such a nice group of animal lovers. When I first heard about them in college, they were the group that worked to save monkeys from terrible medical experiments and encouraged people not to wear fur. Now, they are run by extremist wackos. First it was their “Holocaust on Your Plate” campaign that ran pictures of chickens in cages right next to Jews in concentration camps, now it’s the Head Wingnut of the group making statements that Steve “Crocodile Hunter” Irwin is nothing more than a “cheap reality TV star”. Either way, if you want to support the rescue and care of animals forego that donation to PETA and write the check out to a local animal rescue. At least you’ll know that your money is being spent on dog food instead of on an advertising campaign that compares murdered Jewish intellectuals to chickens.