Just in Time for the Election

Saddam Hussein was sentenced to die by hanging, and what a shock, it came the weekend before the mid-term elections. Although this was long overdue, because Saddam is quite the evil bastard, the timing of his sentence was impeccable. While I’m happy to see this brutal man get what’s coming to him, before anyone runs out into the monster truck rally to wave the American flag, we need to put this situation into perspective.

In order to reach the verdict of death by hanging, the United States, along with other democracy-observing world allies, had to start a war with a country that never had the means to become a viable threat to anyone. Our government, including our president, falsified information, lied to the United Nations and the American people, and squandered the budget surplus to depose a leader who was nothing more than a trash-talking asshole. 2,800 American troops have been killed, tens of thousands of young American troops have sustained life-altering injuries (i.e. amputated limbs, injuries sustained to major organs, severe burns, traumatic brain injuries, extreme mental health damage, etc.), and it is estimated that over 100,000 Iraqi civilians have died. Don’t even get me started on the economic clusterfuck that has resulted from this war. Little Rachael’s grandchildren will be paying for Resident Bush’s family vendetta, and that pisses me off to no end.

All of this leads up to the election this Tuesday. I want everyone to keep this so-called victory over the tyranny of Saddam in perspective. There are a lot of assholes in this world who do not serve the best interest of their people and insist on operating with G-d-like powers. Unfortunately, a few of them are running our country.

When the 2000 election happened, I was not cool with the end result. The Electoral College made sense back in the day when most of the country was rural, and not every citizen could make it to the polls. In the golden age of the internet, cellphones, PDAs, and information access, it seems a little bizarre that we should have to rely on a group of politicians to decide our elections. Despite the questionable rise to power, I was willing to let the Grand Ol’ Party have their victory. My thought was, Okay GOP, you have absolute power, now go out and do all of the glorious things that you always said you wanted to do, but couldn’t, because you had the Democrats opposing you.

In just six short years, they have fucked up the prosperous economy, violated the Constitution, shit on the Bill of Rights, made the majority of the world hate us, started an expensive and illegal war, and made Teddy Kennedy and Al Sharpton look relevant and sane. Basically, they were hired to do a job and failed miserably, therefore the only thing to do at this point is to fire them, and hire a group that is far more competent to begin digging us out of this enormous hole.

Not that I’m a huge fan of the Democrats. They have been pussies during this whole process apologizing for every little remark that gains an ounce of controversy. I’m not under the delusion that they can solve all of the problems, but at this point, we are left with the lesser of two evils. The Republicans in power are not my stepfather’s GOP. My stepfather’s GOP would have never racked up an enormous debt, expanded the government to a colossal size, and invaded the privacy of citizens the way this government has. My stepfather’s GOP was never into telling a woman what to do with her body, because that should be between her, her family, and her G-d, and would not have sent soldiers to die needlessly over a family vendetta and corporate profits.

I have already cast my ballot via absentee, but before I jump off my soapbox, I want to give one shout out to the ladies to please go out and vote. You are your sister’s keeper, whether you like it or not, and your sisters have not been doing all that well.

Every week the bodies of nearly 60 women are found on the streets of Baghdad and other Iraqi cities as a result of the civil was between the Sunnis and Shiites and the emergence of radical Islamic mullahs who are now enforcing Sharia Law. Sharia Law is condoned by the new Iraqi constitution, which was written, largely, by our American government. Their constitution also provides corporate tax shelters that would blow your mind. It makes Swiss Bank accounts and offshore St. Bart’s banking transactions look tame.

This government has pumped millions of dollars into abstinence education for adults up to age 29, while cutting welfare benefits to struggling families, student loans for college and trade schools, funding for community and veterans hospitals, and tax relief for working adults with children. However, they have given huge tax breaks to anyone raking in over a million per year, so no matter where their religious affiliations fall, their loyalty is to one G-d only, and it’s green, not Jesus.

I’m not telling you who to vote for on Tuesday, but I am telling you to think before you punch your ballot. Put a twist on the old Reagan-era question, and ask yourself, “Is your country better off now than it was six years ago?”