She May Have Your Eyes, but She Has My Sick Sense of Humor

I stood there watching my toddler stare at the television in hysterics. It wasn’t her amusement that had me in a slight state of worry and shock, it was the reason she was laughing. I had been flipping channels in an attempt to reach her kids’ shows when I clicked to one of the movie channels and ended up pausing on Transporter 2. I was talking to Jeff, and didn’t think Rachael would be interested in anything non-animated, but I was wrong.

Transporter 2 is a European-esque film that is basically Pulp Fiction meets James Bond with a touch of Jackie Chan. In the scene my little version of sugar and spice thought was hilarious, the lead character proceeds to kick the living shit out of five guys at some sort of building re-model worksite. Rachael stood there staring at first, and then laughing when the Transporter’s foot made contact with his victim’s face. She then proceeded to dance around yelling, “yeah, yeah” and throwing fake punches.

The sick, sad thing is that I was somewhat amused by the situation. Jeff, however, didn’t share my feelings, and told me to turn the channel, which triggered a screaming fit from our mini violencemonger.

Since Jeff seemed a bit worried about his little girl’s apparent amusement at scenes of extreme violence, I didn’t have the heart to tell him the extent of which his offspring has inherited her mommy’s sick sense of humor.

I’ve always been able to laugh at the most morbid things, and I’ve never been quite sure why. Perhaps I’m more of a goth than I thought, or slightly more twisted than I want to realize. I’m the girl who was cheering for Freddy Krueger when he was bringing about the deaths of vacant suburb dwellers in A Nightmare on Elm Street. I’m the one who heckles horror and “ultra violent” movies adding potent and humorous sub-dialog lines. A few of my favorites include:

• “Gee, six horny teenagers, a creepy cabin in the woods, and no communication with the outside world, what could possibly go wrong.” – After the opening scene from Friday the 13th, Part II.
• “Besides, I should be the right amount of dead weight you need to get a few of those Eastern European guys with no scripted lines killed in mere seconds.” – Howling II, right after the scrawny, sheepish girl insists on going along with the team of experienced werewolf hunters.
• “And you thought Van Gogh was a sick fuck!” – Right after the scene in Reservoir Dogs where Michael Madsen cuts off that guy’s ear.
• “That is the most creative and disgusting use of a curling iron I’ve ever seen.” – Right after that scene in Sleepaway Camp where the killer…well, if you saw the movie you know already.

In addition to my enjoyment of mocking the gruesome deaths of movie serial killer victims, I really like dark humor and off-color animation. Drawn Together is one of my favorite shows, no matter how sick and wrong it gets. Aqua Teen Hunger Force rules, I mean, where else can you find a character called Meatwad! I still have a healthy appreciation for Ren & Stimpy, and so does my little morbid angel.

One night my munchkin and I giggled away at an episode where Ren and Stimpy decide to dress up as monkeys and live in the zoo. It was disgusting, especially the grooming scene, but we just laughed like there was no tomorrow.

On some level, I should probably be concerned, but I’m not. Maybe if my little one has my sick sense of humor, she will also inherit my ability to examine the 40,000 media messages slammed in our face every day, and realize that they aren’t reality, just a corporate-driven attempt to fool us into buying shit we don’t need or make us feel like we have to go on a diet.

For right now, I’m good with her odd view on what constitutes humor, and hey, as long as she’s not attempting to decapitate the dog, we’re okay.