Headline News Recap
Aside from a speech that most political strategists would label as a complete act of idiocy, Resident Bush was on his moron high-horse this week giving the green light to oil drilling in Bristol Bay, Alaska. Bristol Bay happens to be known for its striking beauty as well as home to endangered whales and the largest run of sockeye salmon in the world. According to environmental groups, scientists, and anyone with a brain, the extraction of oil and natural gas will wreak havoc on Bristol Bay’s ecosystem, and endanger vital food supplies, but hey, at least some big oil barons will finally get to own their Las Vegas dream penthouse.
ABC News reporter Amanda Congdon was tasered at a consumer electronics show this week at a booth where people could voluntarily be tasered to see what it feels like. Okay, now that Amanda’s been tasered, can we do those bastards who did that biased 9/11 movie blaming the Clinton Administration for the Towers attack?
In an effort to not look like a bunch of greedy schmucks, the House introduced a bill that would raise the minimum wage from $5.15 per hour to $7.25 per hour over a two-year time period. Basically, by the time the minimum wage increase comes to fruition, there will be another ten-year fight to increase it to something people can actually live on, but never fear, those who represent us will still end up with a sweet six-figure income and benefits for life.
Apple, this week, pretended to stifle hype over its new iPhone. Apple G-d, Steve Jobs says that the iPhone, like its musical counterpart, the iPod, will have us re-thinking the way we use cell phones. In other words, everyone be on alert, because there is a new technology gadget ready to hit the market that our kids will be able to operate better than we will, and it will be far more complicated than the piece of shit we have right now. It will also cost more, and most likely, get worse reception.
The U.S. Embassy in Greece was bombed this week making me think that someone better fund Nia Vardalos’ next film project, and they’d better do it soon.
Rex Farrance, the Senior Editor of PC World magazine was murdered in his San Francisco home on Tuesday night by four masked, armed men. I’m no regular viewer of CSI, but if those men were carrying iPhones, I’d seriously consider questioning Steve Jobs.
The Senate, this week, passed a bill canceling pensions for Congressmen convicted of serious ethics violations such as bribery and conspiracy. How about attaching a term limits clause for those benefits, as well as a performance evaluation. If you do a shitty job, then I don’t have to pay your lifetime healthcare benefit. How ‘bout that!
In Local News
This week’s Recap was delayed due to a severe snowstorm that hit the Seattle area leaving the author trapped in the house for two days with her crazy ass toddler. Due to said entrapment, she was mentally unable to do anything accept wonder why she decided to have kids in the first place. Her life used to be so peaceful, her house used to be so clean, she never used to spend a half hour making pancakes for a demanding kid only to have the kid completely reject the meal once it was on the plate. Why, G-d, why! Where’s that home tube-tying kit when you need it!
Worthless Entertainment News
Every U.S. tabloid magazine staff was on cloud nine this week when it was announced that British football/soccer superstar David Beckham signed with the L.A. Galaxy for five years. Beckham and his Spice Girl wife will be hitting our shores just in time for the mainstream media to ignore all of the positive changes the Democrats are attempting to make, and instead report important things like what color drapes Posh will choose for her mansion’s sitting room.
Madonna weighed in on the “no undies” trend this week saying that she just doesn’t get it. Now you know that Hollywood has become some kind of wretched, skanky cesspool when Madonna frowns on it.
Paula Abdul was caught drinking and interviewing on Seattle’s Q13 Morning News show this week. Hey, cut Paula a break. You’d be drunk at 8:00 AM too if you had to work with that asshole Simon Cowell, listen to all of those pathetic contestants caterwauling miserably, and had to be perky about it. In fact, next time she comes through, I’ll be the first one to pass poor Paula a Long Island Iced Tea, because she needs it.
Quote of the Week
“I want to contribute to the world of ideas.” – Former Senator Rick Santorum on his new job as the Director of the American’s Enemies Program for the Ethics and Public Policy Center, a right-wing Washington D.C. think tank.
If by new ideas, he means branding gays with pink triangles and quashing their rights, while at the same time relegating women to second class citizens, and on top of that, killing foreigners, enforcing extremist Christian law, and making anyone with a creative thought that isn’t, what he considers, moral, illegal and punishable by prison, then I guess Santorum is your idea man.
4 comments:
Melanie, This comment is in response to earlier blogs. Your blog about Movin' on was great. Does seem like around the Holidays more people tend to call it quits. It can really be a stressful time of year.
I was sad to read you might be leaving the area. Has been a trying year for a lot of people. But I have a new baby coming in February to look forward too. Benjamin Robert. We are pretty excited. Takes the focus off all the dreary weather. But keep on blogging so we can read about your adventures. If you need a referral for a Realtor in your area..I know of an excellent one. She advertises alot with the JCC. I used to work with her. Very knowledgeable and experienced. Anyway let me know but I hope you guys have an easy transition.
Debbie - part of leaving is the weather, but a big part is wanting to make a life change at this point. Jeff grew up with a lot of family around, and he really wants the same for Rachael. Congrats on the new little guy in February. It's so funny, because I know five ladies due in February (so maybe one of these new beings will share my birthday on the 26th).
As for real estate, we will be cooling our heels for awhile in Southern California and renting. Jeff hasn't lived there since college and I have only visited, so we don't know where to live yet. I figure if we rent, for even just six months, we will know by the end of it exactly which neighborhood fits our personality and needs.
I'll keep in touch, and of course, keep my blog. No doubt there will be a lot to say about a place affectionately known as LaLa Land.
Becks was - and might still be - a great player. Everyone's bitchin' over here 'cause he's gone for the $$'s. What they expect? "Nah mate, I don't want to earn millions". Not sure about his Mrs though. When she stands sideways all yer see is floatin' boobs.
DP - I think the Beckhams will be very happy living amongst the Los Angeles elite. Becks' story is like a deja vu of the flack that Wayne Gretsky got when he left Canada and began playing for the Los Angeles Kings. Hey, what's a guy to do when he has a wife that loves designer clothes, and thinks that since she's failed at every other attempt at fame, she can maybe get into acting.
My prediction is that within a year of their move to L.A., the Beckhams will have their own reality t.v. show.
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